The Sumerian Dog Joke That Makes No Sense

Referernces + Corrections: 1. Original twitter post by Depths of Wikipedia twitter.com/depthsofwiki/status/150172070538535321… 2. Meme site documenting the origins of the Sumerian Bar Joke knowyourmeme.com/memes/sumerian-bar-joke 3. twitter.com/abbyfheld/status/1501880993833054208 4. twitter.com/VocolPuh/status/1501784215121276928 5. popcrush.com/twitter-decipher-punchline-ancient-su… 6. r/AskHistorians thread (now archived) www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/tbgetc/thi… 7. Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative Entry 1 cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/231595 8. Gordon EI (1958) Sumerian Animal Proverbs and Fables: “Collection 5”, Journal of Cuneiform Studies, vol 12, pg. 1-21 9. Gordon EI (1958) Sumerian Animal Proverbs and Fables: “Collection 5” (Conclusion), Journal of Cuneiform Studies, vol 12, pg. 43-75. 10. Cunningham G (2013) The Sumerian Language. In: The Sumerian World, Routledge, pg. 95-109. 11. Crawford H (2004) Writing and the Arts. In: Sumer and the Sumerians, Cambridge University Press, pg. 193-198. 12. Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative Entry 1 cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/231595 13. Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative Entry 2 cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/231603 14. Van De Mieroop M (2016) A History of the Ancient Near East, Third Edition, Wiley Blackwell, pg. 36-37. 15. Pronunication by Dr Seraina Nett, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 6:06-6:18. www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-jok… 16. Beaulieu PA (2018) A History of Babylon (2200 BC-AD 75), Wiley Blackwell, pg. 69-97. 17. Van De Mieroop M (2016) A History of the Ancient Near East, Third Edition, Wiley Blackwell, pg. 90-127. 18. Van De Mieroop M (2016) A History of the Ancient Near East, Third Edition, Wiley Blackwell, pg. 91-93. 19. Black et al. (2004) The Literature of Ancient Sumer, Oxford University Press, pg. 40-50. 20. Gordon EI (1959) Sumerian Proverbs; Glimpses of Everyday Life in Ancient Mesopotamia, pg. 1-20. 21. Proverb Collection 5 entry on the Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/proverbs/t.6.1.05.html#t6105… 22. Bottéro J (2001) Everyday Life in Ancient Mesopotamian, pg. 100-101. 23. Stol M (2016) Prostitution. In: Women in the Ancient Near East, De Gruyter, pg. 401-403. 24. Cooper J (2006) Prostituion, Reallexikon der Assyriologie und Vorderasiatischen Archäologie (RlA), 11, 12–21. 25. Smithsonian article on the Lagash tavern excavations www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/5000-year-old-ta… 26. 2022 Fall Season Excavation Report from the Lagash Archaeological Project web.sas.upenn.edu/lagash/current-excavations/2022-… 27. Alster B and Oshima T (2006) A Sumerian Proverb Tablet in Geneva With Some Thoughts on Sumerian Proverb Collections, Orientalia, 69. 28. Alster B (1997) Proverbs of Ancient Sumer. CDL Press. 29. Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature Proverb collection 5 transcription etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/proverbs/t.6.1.05.html#t6105… 30. Dr Seraina Nett, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamps: 16:22-16:32 and 10:56-10:11 www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-jok… 31. Richardson S (2019) Nature Engaged and Disengaged: The Case of Animals in Mesopotamian Literatures. In: Impious Dogs, Haughty Foxes and Exquisite Fish, De Gruyter, pg. 11-40. 32. Breier I (2019) Shaming by Naming: “Dog” as a Derogatory Term for Human Beings in Ancient Near Eastern Sources. In: Impious Dogs, Haughty Foxes and Exquisite Fish, De Gruyter, pg. 57-72. 33. Dr Seraina Nett, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamps: 16:22-16:32 and 10:56-10:11 www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-jok… 34. Correction: This is mentioned by Endless Thread podcast host Ben Brock Johnson at 12:06-12:21, not Dr Nett. www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-jok… 35. Dr Philip Jones, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 29:26-29:47 36. Dr Philip Jones, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 28:52-29:01 37. Dr Philip Jones, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 30:40-31:20

Imagine if Sumerians were into non-jokes that intentionally had no punchline and we're just grasping at straws because of that.

Personally, the more amazing thing to me is that "X walks into a bar" jokes have been a thing for so long.

I like to think it might've been a direct equivalent to the classic pun: "A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks: Why the long face?". Without knowing the idiom, it makes as much sense as the Sumerian dog joke.

The dog chewing a bone anus joke nearly made me cry that was so unbelievably funny

My favorite type of this joke is this: An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

The bit about the verb for "to open" being close to a word for "vulva" makes me hope that 4,000 years from now, there will be archaeologists struggling to find the exact correct interpretation for "ligma" jokes.

As a Sumerian I find this absolutely hilarious

Any Sumerians that happen to be immortal and watching this are probably bawling and howling in laughter right about now.

I know a Greek joke . There are three islands. On the first there is a Greek. He decides to measure the island, explore and investigate the local flora and fauna. He then writes a book about it. On the second island is a Roman. Having ascertained that he doesn’t need to conquer it, he then proceeds to make laws, creat roads and aqueducts and raises a statue to himself. On the third island is Celt. He starts a fight.

in spite of not being able to understand its context, the fact that this joke has the "x walks into a bar and says" format that we still retain today is astounding

My personal take on the proverb: It's a variation of, "A man walked into a bar. He should have ducked," suggesting the dog collided with the tavern instead of entering. The teaching moment is something along the lines of, "Don't get so lost in the task at hand that you lose sight of the goings on around you." Either that, or it's some witty wordplay that's lost on us. Which leads me to the mental image of the original scholar (the one who added the proverb to the list, not the student who scribed the tablet) laughing and commenting about how this joke is so timeless that it needs to be on the list.

A guard dog opening the front door of a brothel to the public is definitely the funniest interpretation, and it makes the most sense as a joke. It also acts as an allegory about doing one's job effectively (i.e., you can't guard the streets from inside a brothel).

In Sumerian is much funnier...

The dog talking to its anus legitimately made me laugh and I think it's so great people from 4000 years ago can make us laugh today. It's some timey whimey stuff

this reminded me of a joke about two soldiers drinking some awful moonshine heavily while they're being surrounded by the enemy. After finishing the bottle and being incredibly drunk, one says to the other: - Do you see me? - Nope! - I don't see you either. We're so good at camouflage, they'll never find us!

The dog and bone one actually drew a laugh out of me

A dog walks into a brothel and says, "I can't see a thing, I'll have this one". Okay, I could see that as a crude joke.

My fan theory about the meaning: A dog walks into a bar and sees no customers and no staff, so he thinks... "I will open the bar myself,"

"A bull with diarrhea leaves a wide trail" A timeless truth, lol