How ADHD Affects Prioritization (And Why Recognizing IBNUs Can Help)

Oh my goodness! I cannot believe you have 1.57 Million subscribers! I found your video on how to stop saying "sorry" 7 years ago and following your channel has honestly changed my life since I was diagnosed as an adult with inattentive ADHD. There were only a few hundred of us subbed then (and I thought 10K was amazing). I'm so grateful for you and your team, Jessica! Congratulations on reaching so many people!

I have so many IBNUs 😭 they are compounded by the guilt and shame I feel when I see them on my long term to do list and realize how long they've been avoided/neglected. It's so hard to break that cycle!

I am ADHD and I babysit a child with ADHD and it’s been so interesting that clocking his time has helped me clock myself 😂😂😂

I think one of mine is as simple as washing my sheets and taking a shower. They don't usually get done until they're urgent, but when I do take a shower daily and wash the sheets weekly, I feel better and it helps my sensory overwhelm, which makes life easier in general.

I completed an IBNU that I have been putting off for 2ish years today! I’m honestly so proud of myself and I want to pass the good vibes along to all of us 😊

One of my IBNUs was learning how to sew doll clothes (I collect fashion dolls). I bought the sewing machine, tons of fabric, patterns, etc. And... They all sat untouched in my craft room for literal years. Occasionally, I would try to learn from YouTube, get confused or doubt myself, and give up. It was never urgent enough to push through and stay committed, even though I wanted to do it so badly. Then one day I was at work, and got to chatting with one of our regular customers and found out she has a small online sewing business. I had an epiphany: if I had the double-whammy of being accountable to someone AND paying for it, I'd finally be able to keep myself on track. On impulse, I asked if she'd be willing to give me sewing lessons, and she agreed. We've been meeting for several months now, and I'm to the point I can complete projects solo. Would I have liked to find a way to do this that DIDN'T cost me actual money? Of course. Was I ever going to do it without that motivating factor? If I'm being honest with myself, probably not. Sometimes making progress with your IBNUs means being honest with yourself about what it will take to motivate YOU specifically, and that varies.

I like that you talk about IBNU's also including thing you want to do and are enjoyable, but still get put off. I've always had a weird, heavy guilt about not getting to the shows I want to watch or the games I want to play or the books I want to read... and then I get stuck, and then it's been four years with an unread book in the same spot.

I would like to add that Depression can make IBNUs less 'important' also. I find that I have almost no motivation these days to do things I want or like (important or not). I only tend to do things when they are urgent so this video is spot on. I just wish I could pinpoint what is 'important' versus 'stuff I would like to do for my mental health'.

So, brushing my teeth is clearly an INBU and I've always had an extremely hard time with it. But I've actually found a decently sustainable solution to make it urgent ! I have a complex reward system (2€ for each brushing, 5€ bonus if i complete a week) behind brushing my teeth now, that requires me to do retroplanning and seeing each time I brush my teeth as an opportunity to work on a bigger and much more interesting goal (getting a tattoo with the money from the reward system). It's working wonders, I have a cute notebook where i put stickers to mark each time i brush my teeth and it looks really nice. Sometimes INBUs can also be simple but repetitive, and maybe giving them their own way to shine is a good way to finally getting them done

One (somewhat depressing) IBNU for me is making sure all my emergency documents/end of life documents are pulled together. I’m only in my 30s, but I’m at the age now that I know plenty of young people who have passed away unexpectedly. Should something happen to me, I want my spouse and family to be taken care of—and that includes making sure my beneficiaries are named, list of accounts are known, end of life care wishes are explicit, etc. If this ever becomes URGENT instead of just important, it will already be too late.

My ADHD is really bad about renumerating on "what I need to get done", so I make two lists. One larger list of all the things I have to do, no matter the importance, then a smaller list, on a post it or note card, of the thing I have to do now. When the smaller list is done I can calm down and enjoy fun things, or let my anxiety go wild and use the first list to figure out what "to do" next.

This is so real. Things like exercise, booking a therapy appointment, studying (when you don't have a test like next week), or homework without a deadline never get done

I have an IBNU slot on my calendar. It used to be called projects until I saw the older video and now that recurring slot is named IBNU until I assign something to it ^_^ making time for those things has helped me make progress on a to-do list that has items from 10 years ago on it. They're finally getting done! One thing that really helped was putting everything onto one list. I used to have a list for school projects, a list for dance and costuming related things, a different list for garden stuff..... separately they all involved a reasonable amount of my time and energy, but turns out i'm only one person, not 3! when i put them all on one list and tried to guess how long they'd all take to do, it was a 5 year long project list! it's been 8 years since I did that, and I'm about a year'ish away from finishing. which, ok, partly because of my chronic underestimating how long things will take, but also because in the mean time I bought and renovated and landscaped a house.

Yep, I feel like it goes in cycles where I can do well for a time, then, something happens and throws everything out of order and I have to begin again.

This is such a great realization. And the part where you're talking about IBNUs being the things that would actually make your life better and more fulfilling, but you never get to them because they aren't urgent, really hits home.

Really hard for me to do even scheduled things if they are IBNU. Working out was one of those - what has finally worked is getting a trainer. Spending the (admittedly large) sums of $$ for sessions is what keeps me coming back. (Also makes for MUCH better workouts of course!) Having something on the schedule is ignorable - having an appointment, that I’m paying for, isn’t, apparently. I’m grateful that my $$ for this haven’t run out yet.

This describes my entire schooling career from Elementary to Master's. Phew! Dumpster fire after dumpster fire. Case in point, I wrote my entire Master's thesis in one night because i dragged my feet doing it.

my executive dysfunction has been so bad on the last week .. video came at a great time

Honestly the Matrix bit was pretty funny and made me laugh, thanks for doing that extra bit. 😄 This video is also timely because I've got several IBNU's that are collectively being very stressful to not have done, but still struggling for motivation to start one of them because I "need" to do all of them if I start any of them.

I've tried several different systems of tracking tasks and often find problems like digital systems not being in my face enough or physical systems being harder to reprioritize. Another major problem becomes getting demotivated once tasks get drawn out too long while actively pushing to get them done - the speed bumps that come up to prevent me from completing the tasks are seemingly to no fault of my own. After getting burnt out and discouraged from not being able to get things done I get anxious about the massive backlog and shutdown until the procrastination anxiety restarts the cycle.