How To Win With People You Don't Like - Jocko Willink

"If I'm so smart, why am I losing?" Amazing way to check your own ego and get the hell out of your own way.

“You’re damn right I’m hostile towards people that aren’t squared away” I died

Building a relationship and working with someone you don’t like to achieve a mission. That’s professionalism. That’s how you win.

I've learned from listening to Jocko and applying his wisdom that the phrase "how can I help?" solves almost any conflict. Nothing disarms an adversary and puts my own ego in check like sincerely, humbly trying to help the person my ego views as a threat. If I can hold back my emotions and reactions (unattaching) long enough to think rationally, I can turn almost any situation into a positive learning experience (for all involved parties). In religion, politics, business, and interpersonal relationships, the ability to distinguish between literal threats and "non-factors" are the key to the success of your agenda. Thanks for the awesome info as always!!

I have a boss I am forced to see first thing in morning and one thing ive realized is if you just treat them with kindness and don’t expect anything back from them.... you will win every single time because even when you just say good morning and they don’t respond... they think they are insulting you with not responding but if you know better and understand that them not responding is due to their own unhappiness then them not responding is you WINNING lol

I love how jocko admits his mistakes as a young man. Trying to be tough... I’m 31 realizing how stupid I’ve been but, I learn from my mistakes and trying to be a better man everyday.

P/S, I was pleasantly surprised last week to find out that my teenage daughter listens to your podcasts. This is how I found out: I started playing one of your clips and she was in the room. She said, "Hey mom - is that the Navy Seal guy's podcast? You know him too 😲?" So you guys should know your reaching out to multiple generations and effectively changing lives for better!!!! Thank you for all you do.

“If I’m so smart, why can’t I influence this person.” Simple yet true. I’m in sales and that’s been a hang up of mine recently. It’s my fault.

This really hit home...I've always thought I was humble but deep down I'm too conceited...I'm gonna work on it from here on out

One of my instructors when I was in class to become a towercrane driver told me " you can be the best operator in the crane but if you do not know how to handle your ground crew or the people you serve, you will suck and not have a long career up there ". or you can mess up many times but if your crew loves you, you will be a legend " I have never forgotten those words because that was a golden. To this day I still hear him yelling through my radio " NO MERCY FOR YOU DANNY BOY " My first try in a new company and 5 days later I had the job and best crew ever. Know how to handle your people.

This is work 101, there is always someone you like less. After a while you just manage to ignore that fact, you are at work to get it done, friends are a bonus.

"That sounds manipulative, conniving, not keeping it real" - Being autistic, to me even keeping it real is a sort of act that I learned to perform, so in a way I learned to view all behaviour as manipulative or somewhat acted. What matters is the intention, and when the intention is to get shit done, being cooperative and respectful to someone you despise is 100% true to the intention to get shit done. Maybe not true to your feelings but the point was to get shit done not to express your feelings.

Jocko often looks like a little boy with a big secret he can't wait to tell his best friend :)

I watch this everyday before work. I’ve been promoted twice since I started. The one I didn’t like now works underneath me. I am still not finished. Still have a mission that needs to be completed. Thanks for your inspiration.

"wisdom based on humility leads to progress. wisdom based on hostility leads to regress" Eugene Logan

I love how you guys can be humble and tough at the same time. Too many tough guys out there need to humble themselves

Be kind to people, but don't let them take advantage of you. And trust people, but don't let them deceive you.

Our own EGO can be the worst enemy. A good book to read is "Ego is the Enemy" by Ryan Holiday

Love the humility that Jocko shows in his response here. Really says a lot about the character of a man to acknowledge his weaknesses.

I drove a cab for a couple of years and one thing that learned is that if you don't respond to difficult people in a way that escalates the situation and you keep a consistent level head and do not let them influence the way that you handle the situation, 9 times out of ten they settle down rather quickly and end up with a much more productive situation.