Why I Stopped Being the "Nice Girl"

Took me so many painful years to learn that a nice girl very often it's just someone with really poor boundaries. I definitely played the role..

I'm about to turn 67 and have lived my entire life as "the nice girl." With it came manipulation, severe abuse, and living a life that was not truly mine. Barely learning now how to set boundaries. If you are young, or whatever age you are, heed the wise words in this video. Thank you, Sophie, for the courage to share. 💖

For the longest time I was this girl. I just wanted to make others comfortable and happy at all times, no matter what that meant for me. I hate to admit it but not until a few weeks ago did I realize I can no longer live this way. I was exhausted and felt lost but after celebrating a birthday a few weeks ago I decided to finally put myself first, Say what I think no matter what, and live the way I wanted. And I have to say, I’ve never felt so free so if you can relate I recommend you take the advice in this video and comment and live for you because life is too short to be unhappy 💜

Problem is, if you’ve been the “nice girl” your entire life, that’s how people view you. Once you stop, people around you are gonna guilt trip you. “You’ve changed” “you’re different” My family still doesn’t like when I stand up for myself because for most of my life I’ve never done it. It’s hard for them to accept that I’m not a “nice little girl” anymore and it has caused MANY arguments

I think the biggest problem for me is I expected to get everything I did in return, I expected people to lower their boundaries for me because I didn’t even have any, and when that didn’t happen I’d be hurt. Ive realized the flaw.

Completely agree about the boundaries. I recently realized that all the anger I felt toward others, for taking advantage of me and not respecting my feelings and my time, was completely misplaced anger, because I’m the one who failed to set the boundaries and allowed myself to be treated that way. Well, for the most part, anyway, because some of the people did act like jerks at times and that’s on them not me.

Remember girls, '' you are not responsible for other people's actions''. Being too kind only brings more pressure. Very good video. We all should have a balance. Know who your friends are .

I have suffered from being "the nice person". Through constant physical and emotional abuse as a child, coupled with growing up with not much, I got lost in making others happy. At 32 I am learning to put my wants first and that it's okay to do so.

Being the nice girl for years, when I finally did set my boundaries, people begin to say I’m a bad person and never help anyone. Even though I’ve always been the one helping, these type of people don’t deserve to be in my life!

For a long time I was the nice girl but, I got sick of it when somehow people think that just because you are nice they can take that opportunity to walk all over you. I am still nice but, I guess with certain people i am more cautious about how nice I am and listen more to my intuition as well. I still get burned sometimes but, not as often as I used to.

Boundaries are so important. It feels so good to say NO more and to realize to stop communicating with unhealthy people that only added hurt to my life . It’s some what a free feeling and a great value to respect myself !!

I am a nice girl, it’s exhausting. I am so burned out, trying to make everyone else happy. Worrying what people think of me. I have to change and do what makes me happy, much needed video 😍 thank you 😊 love listening to you.

It took me awhile to learn being a “nice girl” has hurt me more than helped me gain in life. I learned how much I have extremely low boundaries and felt like others validation determines my self worth. “Why don’t people like me? I’m nice.” “What did I do wrong? I was kind” it doesn’t matter. I can’t stress how much people do not care and will take advantage of you if you allow them

This absolutely resonates with me. I was raised to be a people pleaser mostly by my mom, sometimes intentionally. For me, it’s less about validation and all about avoiding conflict. Just agreeing, doing, not objecting, whatever, to keep things quiet, running status quo, and keeping from having to explain myself or defend myself. I would suffer silently in situations just to stay under the radar. It took me years to realize that “status quo” isn’t always worth preserving when it means I suffer and am uncomfortable. That avoiding conflict to that degree actually created all kinds of conflict within myself. Some of that being conflict over the resentment I silently felt for people whom I didn’t set boundaries with in the first place, similarly to what you described here. I’ve been giving myself permission to take up the advice of people around me that I trust, from my partner to my boss, to speak up, take up more space, throw my weight around, because I do have valid points, ideas, and needs. Having trustworthy supporters has made a huge difference in my personal growth in this area.

This manifested (through me) in money. As a Christian, I was ALWAYS giving. Not even just my tithe (10%)....but above and beyond that. One year, I gave away over 30% of my income. Now mind you, I was giving when I had credit card debt and NO savings. 2.5 years ago, I finally quit cold turkey. I haven't given a penny away to any church, ministry, or organization. I paid off all my debt, built up a substantial savings, and am now investing. I've never felt more free.

you can be kind and loving and caring while also having boundaries, being nice does not mean being a doormat, you are very nice and i love you mwah

Be yourself. If you're nice then be nice. Just don't talk to everyone. Don't give just anyone your attention... only those who show u respect. You do have to know how to play characters depending on the circumstance. But, don't become cold or aggressive because people have treated you less then. You'll find your tribe.

Being the “Nice Girl” in my family was emotionally, physically, spiritually exhausting!!!! I just walked away… my family says it’s me that’s the problem.

True. Being always emotionally available for others drains you. Specifically when you realise that friends and outsiders really don't care. I used to be 24/7 available for all my friends . Comfort and console them. I was the nicest. But ultimately jealousy pops out they betray you , hurt your feelings and pretend like it's your fault. Now I am very specific about who my friends are and always prioritize what's important for me. Then you will meet loyal friends who are just like you❤️ Thank uww Sophie for delivering a great message. Many girls would need it.🌸

I'm in my mid 40s and this was 100 percent me until last year. Now I'm starting completely from square one. Not a place I ever thought I would be in at this age. People are not liking my boundaries and I'm seeing how many friends and family members never truly cared about me only what I could give to them. It's absolutely exhausting. It's something I have done since I was young. The only person I hurt in the end was myself. Life is too short. Take care of yourself first then you will have energy to give to others. The guilt of the boundaries and saying no sometimes was a huge hurdle for me. It's a daily struggle, but I'm not going back to be that person.