A needlessly thorough roast of Dear Evan Hansen (2021)
6,135,835
Published 2021-10-12
Click the title under which you posted Evan Hansen’s speech to the internet:
Doctors hate him! High school boy looks 45 twitter.com/JennyENicholson
POV the lead singer of the memorial didn’t show so the drummer has to sing instead and his voice is incredible www.tiktok.com/@jennyusername
Stupid Orchard Kickstarter www.patreon.com/JennyNicholson
Top 10 memorial speech FAILS compilation www.instagram.com/spider_jewel/
Weeping falsetto ASMR www.twitch.tv/progamerjenny
Parts 2, 8, and 10 do not contain triggering content but might be confusing out of context. Except Part 2 that one stands on its own legs.
Chapters:
00:00:00 Intro
00:00:38 Part 1: The Story
00:02:46 Part 2: Ben Platt wants an oscar but he is 45 years old
00:11:44 Part 3: Mommy why is the scary man singing
00:19:49 Part 4: Sincerely, Me
00:24:25 Part 5: The romance with the sister
00:28:34 Part 6: His best friend d*ed… you won’t believe what he did next!
00:32:01 Part 7: The stupid Kickstarter
00:36:33 Part 8: The Jared character has no point and makes no sense
00:39:51 Part 9: The stuff I liked
00:41:57 Part 10: The editing
00:44:48 Part 11: The lie
00:52:18 Part 12: Is Evan the bad guy
01:01:16 Part 13: Nothing happens
01:08:28 Part 14: Trees
All Comments (21)
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Carry yourself with the confidence of Julianne Moore singing "truck."
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Regarding Ben Platt's t-rex arm mannerisms- It's pretty clear that the reason why he does tiny gestures because Ben Platt is used to the stage giving him full range of movement, and in the film adaptation he is stuck in my tiny tv. If he gestures too widely he'll hit the side of the screen.
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“Pretends to know a girl’s dead brother so he can get together with her” is like some It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia shit
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Its kinda badass of Connor's actor to finnesse both the best and shortest role in the film, show his emotional range by playing both a sad emo version and a charismatic show toons version of the same character and then cut out of the film before he has to do anything else. Literally the perfect acting reel.
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Must be a hard life being in the 20th grade.
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Movie could've been fixed if they added a scene right at the top where Evan looks to camera and says dryly: "I can't believe I was held back ten years in a row"
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Every song is triggered by someone walking up to Evan and pressing E.
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Evan always looks like he's trying to hide the fact that he's been bitten by a zombie
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Ben Platt saying no one else could possibly play Evan is made 1000% funnier when you remember that his fiancé also played Evan Hansen on Broadway
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“actually i’m neurodivergent and a minor”- 30 year old Evan Hansen
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When Evan says he wants depressed kids to “go out and climb trees” am i the only one who feels that its a pretty morbid thing to say when he has just tried to kill himself by jumping out of a tree?
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I know this video is a year old at this point, but I want you to know that if an orchard “closes”, they have to rip all the trees out. Because the trees could become a hotbed of disease and pests if left unattended, they have to be removed to protect other farms in the area. Due to the nightmare cost of that, orchards generally don’t close, they just get sold to other farmers. Source: Apple farmers in the family
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I love how the inciting incident of this story relies on Evan having a therapist, and then that therapist promptly drops off the face of the earth for the rest of the story.
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The most culturally important thing to come out of the Dear Evan Hansen franchise was Rupaul thinking the main character's name is Dear.
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connor's family at thanksgiving in 5 years like "remember that creep with the caked on foundation that sang pop songs at us"
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"so you've got a bunch of normal looking characters looking at this big, hunching, mop-headed man. Eyes sunken into his artificially puffy face, warbling out high notes like an anxious Jiminey Cricket" is the most hilarious, out of pocket, spot-on roast of a single character I’ve ever heard I’m obsessed with the way you speak lmao
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he literally looks 40 surrounded by all these school kids... they should rename the film to Dear Chris Hansen
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"The Dear Evan Hansen movie honestly feels like propaganda written by Evan Hansen himself," is honestly the best summary of the movie i've seen so far lol
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During If I Could Tell Her, when Ben Platt was advancing on Zoe with that depraved look in his eye my friend whispered "he's got a knife" and it was the most enjoyment I got out of this movie
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I think it’s so funny how Evan says “the only man that I love is my dad” in a homophobic joke line, only for multiple songs to mention that he isn’t in contact with his dad at all and hasn’t seen him in over a decade.
