The Most Effective Way to Deal With Passive Aggressive Behavior

Excellent presentation although I think the 'shut-downs' of people approaching after a meeting could be an issue of masking workplace bullying. If someone is too afraid to speak up during the meeting, it may be because they are in fact intimidated by a passive-aggressive team member. Passive-agression, is not just a personality disorder. It is a modus-operandi that not only affects productivity, but psychologically harms the victims within the workplace.

This is focus towards a group. Work related.

This is great information. Unfortunately, the assumption seems to be that everyone on the team is at this level of understanding. They are not in most cases. I work with a female who sometimes seems unaware of the words coming out of her mouth.

This vid advice might slightly improve the communication out of the mouth of a PA person, but it's going to do little to stop it from them long term. Point out the PA problem. When somebody is acting PA with me I show them ZERO emotions from my face in my response...this way they learn they can't get an emotional reaction out of me through their crappy, immature behavior...then I ask the PA person short and precise questions about how they're behaving poorly and what result they're trying to get from it. Say, "So when you're pouting like that, what result are you trying to achieve?" "Do you think that is the best and mature way to communicate to others?" "Is it truly an efficient method or just another distraction you're creating?"

Thanks for providing this in a corporate theme, rather than relationship/gender based explanation. I'm dealing with a Female flatmate/leaseholder/landlord and your advice of direct questioning might help diffuse the emotion based confrontation.

This was amazing. I see other videos that go on and on and I wish they would get to the point in a concise manner. Or, they spend the first Several Minutes letting you know where you can buy Their Works. They will also tell you to Subscribe even before they have presented anything. That is actually a form of Passive Aggressive Behavior. These folks will go around and around in circles until even they can't stick to the subject anymore.

When people come to you after an interview bringing up an issue does it ever occur to anybody they didn't feel comfortable enough expressing it in front of everybody (I'm sure they may or may not have been hired if the interviewer didn't think they could do the job) but doesn't it occur to some people in charge they prefer a one to one, rather than a group of people - sometimes it's just to let you know how they felt about something when everybody spoke all at once regarding it. I know you should speak up, be confident but some people lack the confidence and by saying what do you hope to achieve now this is over? Sometimes it's just to be heard and hearing that it sends the message your not really interested which as you say your not you're giving them the brush down. I thought as a member of management you need to gear everybody so people feel that they can come to you - if people don't, how do you know if your team members are happy because unhappiness leads to negativity and negative people create drama in the work place. I thought the managers role was to manage all staff with all different personality types

Will you please post a video on dealing with a passive-aggressive boss. I dealt with one for over a year before I know what was wrong and what it was called. It took another year before I could effectively deal with the problem. Thanks. Great video.

Everybody knows that at meetings people never actually raise their issues for a few reasons; nobody wants to be there, everything will be sugar coated and not actually taken seriously because again, nobody wants to be there, if you are the rebel who actually uses the meeting for its intended purpose, others will despise you, which in turn annoys others, which in turn makes you not fit for working on the team. Meetings...Blah. Maybe one day we will be able to find a more educated method other than just learning to deal with one another and speaking up if necessary. You don't have to make a point in a meeting that won't matter, just don't be secretive about issues you have. Say something. Life is unfair, but you can cope. Human beings will never be the greatest team players, but keep in mind that the central goal is common. Team does not need to discriminate in individual approaches, as long as they meet at the goal. Worry about your part, and less about complaining about others. Thanks.

Liane, appreciate the video...but, you know as well as I do...that if it is the "Boss". or "Management", you will only enflame the situation and make it worst.  Second, by using these tactics...you are actually playing into the passive aggressive "hand"...because your using emotional energy to find the "perfect" words to ensure you do not accept them.  As you can see...once again...the burden is falling on you which is precisely what they want...you will be going in circles...trying to please...find the perfect words and approach...hoping to keep peace...when, there will never be peace.  They live for this conflict.  Suggest you read, "The Best Seller", the No Asshole Rule...by Robert I. Sutton...it will give you a new perspective.  PA's never change...and if your PA is a boss...you need to leave...for your own health...and that of those around you.

In a meeting, there are multiple instances of others' bioelectricity and auras that are distracting to some people, so speaking one-on-one is easier without that distraction.

good tips Liane, thank you

What happens when is the boss who is passive aggressive?

Thank you

It is really helpful and practical . Thank you

How about telling everybody that this is very serious instead of trying to butter coat it. I am either extremely serious or way to careless there is no in between.

Great video can be applied to friendships and marriage.

Advice needed. I have a coworker that when we work together she'll ignore me, but to the other team members shes super friendly, and says how lovely they are etc etc when its just me and her, shes very blank, we're both relatively new also. At first I thought its because we're both new but it keeps happening and makes me feel uncomfortable. I did say "I noticed you were quiet today is there anything I've done to upset you?" She said "no you're fine," then when I was leaving she was huddled in a group chatting with my other team members, the whole situation just makes me feel uncomfortable and cones across clicky. I have to work with her, shes saying shes fine with me but her actions don't match her words. Shoukd I speak to her again in a better way? Or monotor it and if keeps happening ask her again or should I speak to management? What would you do? Many thanks

oh, please. in reality one must have a adult personality. these people don't have one. its either parent or child personality, only. but thanks for trying.

the last meeting that was held where i work was a lecture with no opportunity for discussion. shame that where i work that management's is the only voice that matters, and change is constant, and seems like change for the sake of change, without any thought on its affect on us is our new reality. fucking bullshit!