How To Support Your Aspie Friend (tips for partners, parents and friends of aspies) | Patrons Choice

It takes curiosity to really understand and accept someone. I don't want them to tolerate me, but to actually understand me. It takes time and effort to understand someone who is different. That's love.

Great video. When I married my husband 24 yrs ago, I just thought he was a quiet introvert. Very shy. As our marriage unfolded I came to realize it was something more. I did try to mold him into a more social person. He is very loving and sweet. He was diagnosed as being ‘on the spectrum’ three years ago. I watch these videos to learn how to love him better. Thank you for your invaluable insights.

I think too many people who are neurotypical try to fit in and pretend they are something they not. It is a universal thing to want to be accepted but it makes you very unhappy to try be something you are not. There is a good lesson in this video for us all to examine who we are, be ourselves; it is not just about autism. It is for everyone.

Great video. So instead of "you're weird and unacceptable, please spend a lot of energy acting normal" the message becomes "you're unique and valuable, but to help you get the most out of life here are some tools to maximise your effectiveness in inevitable situations where putting on an act might help you get by." This way the atypical person can celebrate their perspective and maintain confidence while choosing to apply social strategy where it helps them achieve their own goals. It's like learning a language to help you get by in another country, makes ordering a coffee easier, but you can still day dream in your native tongue.

I'm honestly thankful I have my wife in my life. She is the only neurotypical person (or person in general) who makes me feel comfortable to be myself. It's extreamly exhausting trying to fit in "normal society".

It breaks my heart that my little boy quite often uses the words "I'm broken and a failure".... at 5yrs old!!!! 😞 He's quirky and one in a million. His ability at problem solving amazes me daily (some of the solutions he builds and creates so that his toys live up to his imagination are superb). His mind fascinates me, how he thinks outside the box and his perspective is always interesting and different. 😍 Thanks for the video, it is inspiring and informative and always!! Xx

I wish my parents would accept me in that way. They withhold contact, if I don't behave as they believe is socially acceptable and so if I want their love or attention I have always had to be a completely different person and hide my aspie side. It is so disheartening, exhausting for me and has led to great soul searching and much depression (if your own family wants you to be a different person, what can I expect from the rest of humanity). But I am fortunate to have found 2 people in this planet, who don't judge and have accepted my quirkiness as a positive as they know me as I really am. I am grateful to have found them.

I accept you.

And the guilt felt for not being able to naturally be normal.

Brene Brown (in her book Braving the Wilderness) writes about about the difference between 'fitting in' and 'belonging' and that kids know instinctively it is better to belong than to fit in, but we are taught we must 'fit in' rather than create spaces of belonging.

This is a very helpful way to reframe how people with ASD think about themselves and how other people think of them.

Abuse and neglect should never be tolerated whether on or off the spectrum. I love my husband with all my heart, I enjoy his unique mind. There are times when I need to feel accepted, worthy, and unbroken, as well. ♡

I wished i had a friend like you.

We are all broken... It is our job on Earth to embrace it and evolve

Wow! I've never had that in my life, like not even from a parent. Being treated this way, as a child, would've saved me 13 years, in intensive psychotherapy. I've always ended up disappointed in relationships, because I am able to love this way, yet finding another person capable of it, has been daunting. I'm only realizing at 36, that this is what I've been going through, my entire life. I've been misdiagnosed, so many times, it's been torture. This seems to fit like an old glove, though. I really appreciate your videos, man. Thank you!

When my late son was born back in the early 90s his condition was very new and very little support for the families was available back then, sadly. Our love was for sure always unconditional. Wish we could have done more. Always enjoy your videos, so much I can relate.

We need more people like you in our world. God bless ya mate.

As a aspie mom this was such an eye opener for me. I know I did my best but man I wish I had the chance to do it better.

Neurotypical society is incredibly narrow minded and judgmental. I've gotten to the point where, I'm actually turned off by popular people, and conformist people. In the past I would think in terms of how I would be accepted by others, and now, I think more in terms of who would be accepted by me. You're not broken, if you're autistic. People who think that are too narrow and rigid.

10:00 in I started to cry, the thought of someone having that level of acceptance and truly seeing someone is something I have not experienced very much if at all really. It’s good to see that level of value and unconditional love is possible.