Why You Should Never Make Compromises in a Relationship

Omgosh the answer to the question that’s been bugging me for a while, ‘why does the pain not bother me enough to leave’. Now I get it, I associate love with pain.

I've seen a few triggered comments because this ideal is so deeply imbedded in society. Compromise is the enemy of compatibility. It's like when you're dehydrated and you drink soda instead of water. Yeah, it's liquid but you'll still end up thirsty. Love has been this self sacrifical ideal for centuries, and it can turn relationships into an ecosystem of resentment, keeping score, settling, and losing your own sense of autonomy if/when it ends. Some people stay in incompatible relationships because they don't want to be alone, think they won't find someone else, refuse to change, or use the other person as an excuse to not go after what they want. Love itself is not painful; Putting someone elses needs above your own is. This video was spot on. Thank you for always speaking the truth, even if it ruffles a few feathers because it refutes the societal norm.

If you're reading this I'm praying something amazing happens for you today.🙏🏻❤

I completely agree. I found a partner who I'm compatible with, and, in comparison to all of my past relationships, it's easy to avoid compromise because we're both on the same page. In the rare instances that we're not, we find a solution that we're both happy with. Great video, thank you!!

As the great Eartha Kitt once said: "Compromise...for what?"

This is the main thing I realized after my divorce and try to tell others. Compromise is allowing your partner to cross a boundary and that is not what a respectful partner does.

We’re still in the love matrix. Most people are with their partners in western countries because they were physically drawn to them, in Eastern countries because their parents were drawn to them... or it’s out of security, loneliness etc... we need to start basing romantic relationships on compatibility. But that’s not yet the norm... so we wait with bated breath.

Please make a video on how to actually find someone compatible for a relationship! Thanks Teal Swan

I stopped compromising as soon as I stopped chasing, I feel to seek our passions in life will allign us with a proper partner. But when we pretend to be something we're not, we end up unhappy.

Ok, so now Teal has explained what NOT to do (compromise) it would be great to also hear what you SHOULD do in the situation where incompatibility leads you to a situation where you cannot both have what you want. Do you end each and every of your relationships at the FIRST SIGN of "incompatibility"? That sure is an option .. but is that really what you should seek out?

Most women in my family were raised on this 'compromise is key' ideal and it never sat well with me and they kept telling me "you'll end up alone" like that's the worst thing that can happen to an individual. My whole life I've been in relationships where I've compromised and I was greatly cheered on by my community and family but I was miserable. Stopped dating for 3 years and moved to another country. Those 5 years of being single were the happiest. I've now met someone I'm compatible with and compromise in our relationship is cooking when it's his turn because he's having a bad day. I was totally ready to be single for even longer if it meant I wouldn't be stuck in another relationship that's heavily leaning on compromise to 'work'. I wasn't in a rush to settle and have kids so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Teal, I love how you deliver your messages. - No bullshiz - straight to the point

This feels it could be used as a tool for justification of selfish or inconsiderate behavior... imho some compromise can be mutually beneficial and nurture congruent growth in the relationship. A lack of flexibility can only lead to an inevitable difference of opinion and parting of ways. Having compassion and understanding of your partners needs while expressing your own can facilitate an adaptable foundation to build upon. Perhaps I'm taking this advice too literally 🤔

"Resentment is a corrosive force" so true!

Compromise is the enemy of harmony. It’s not what you do for the relationship. It’s how feel about what you do for the relationship ❤️

Compromise is sacrificing your personality and your passions to make your partner comfortable and fit in. If we have to do that, the relationship is not compatible and likely both partners still struggle with childhood adaptive mechanisms, where we were taught to share and hand over our toys when someone else wants them. In a true adult relationship, neither partner expects the other to bend to their will. Instead, we celebrate each other’s personalities, likes and passions and we allow each other to further develop in our own ways. We are after all, still individuals.

Thank you Teal. I just realized my whole family had a party without me. I can’t compromise myself to stay in my family … I compromised my whole life to fit into a family I am definitely not compatible with.

What if your own family of origin is incompatible to you to the point of emotional and psychological torture? Well of course I left as soon as I could because I don’t believe statements like “family is everything” but rather the family I choose without compromise certainly can be everything to me.

I'm glad you're teaching people to be proud of this. As a person with disabilities, it is essential for me to know ahead of time who will be a douchebag when I tell them I'm not feeling well and need to adapt to my changing limitations. Maybe the secret to lasting relationships is that people who don't see everything as winning or losing have a healthy attitude toward dealing with inevitable changes.

I don't think that it's possible for 2 people, regardless of how compatible they are to always be on the same page on every single decision that comes up in life.