How to Stop Love Bombing (Limerence)

I find myself constantly ricocheting between unrealistic hope and absolute despair. Like I'll never be happy unless they love me and if they don't love me it's because I'm not good enough.

Right... those days where you think it is a good thing to drop the negative people in your life, but you are the negative people in your life 👽

I flip between absolute infatuation, distress at the slightest rejection, the a growing resentment/hatred

In my opinion I think there's no other professional in the industry that understands BPD better Dr fox 🦊

I'm actually crying. I've ruined so many relationships because of this. I can't stand having another Favorite Person but it keeps happening and I can't make it stop; it's so unfair to those people. But even to this day I can never entirely tell if my relationships were really bad because I devalued them or if they were genuinely toxic because I idealized them. I spend hours thinking about these things and have spent years doing so but never an answer.

Why do I internally want a relationship so bad but then when someone actually shows they're trying to have a serious, healthy relationship with me it makes me uncomfortable and I don't believe them so I push them away and treat them bad and that makes me reassured because I feel in control and not vulnerable? I haaaaate it

Loneliness is my biggest fear. That’s why I stay in unhealthy relationships .. great video

I think I’m obsessive in a passive way, I be thinking of my fav person very often, almost evert time of the day, but when I meet them I’m just like: 🕴🙂

I spend my life in limerance, every time I cross paths with someone. I want a healthy relationship, but the people who would give me that, I avoid like the plague, because it makes me unable to breathe xx

This video describes me perfectly. I have been struggling with limerence since adolescence, and it has only gotten worse over the years. I am in a constant state of either obsessing over a romantic partner OR obsessively trying to find a new love object, and obsessively seeking male attention to reassure myself that I am attractive enough and worthy for my next crush. I do not know why i am like this, but it has led to a cycle of painful relationships (often with narcissistic men who take advantage of my low self esteem and my need for validation to get what they want), which has led to unhealthy coping mechanisms and even su***de attempts for me. I can't figure out if I have love addiction, borderline personality or both. A psychiatrist recently told me that I have 7/9 traits of borderline but he didn't give me an official diagnosis. This makes sense, considering that my mom committed s*****e when i was 6 years old and my father abandoned us afterwards, so I probanly have abandonment issues. However, i did some reading on love addiction and felt like that described me pretty well, too. The bottom line is I nees help but I don't know where to turn.

Such a horrific struggle... It's VERY on point and so hard to deal with and so confusing.

This is probably my biggest symptom - that obsessive love and how overwhelming it gets.

I've noticed this pattern of obsessive love and it's awful effects, so i tend to cut off people before they get too close in respond, but i'm working on it

I've sacrificed so many opportunities, so much self-respect and worth over my FP because I can't imagine ever being without them, I feel like I know better than to be in an unhealthy relationship but I'm so obsessed with staying with them and afraid of abandonment that I can't leave or be left by them.

Poor boundaries and inability to speak up creates tolerance for mistreatment and resentment builds up, and then it bursts into anger and burning bridges. Just creating healthy boundaries lessens anger.

This is EXACTLY what happened with me and my ex, the lessening sense of worth & resentment build up thing you mentioned. I really sold myself & how I deserve to be treated short. I put up with stuff I KNEW I didn't deserve just because I didn't want to lose him, even knowing we weren't a good match. He completely disrespected me & treated me like I didn't matter. This is why I stopped dating for years. I keep finding myself in this pattern with narcissistic men. I always think I've done enough work to try again, then end up RIGHT BACK IN THE SAME POSITION. It's getting old, I'll tell ya that! I have a DBT workbook I'm working on. Hopefully it will help.

I'm not diagnosed, but watching this made me feel #seen. Called out and dragged. But in a positive way? Haha. Either way, super helpful. Thank you for the work you do.

As I approach 60, the hope that things can be different is really hard to believe. I've been going through these patterns of limerence and self defeat my entire life. Most of the time I feel broken beyond repair. On the other hand I have been addressing things in other ways such as health and fitness, not drinking, pushing the boundaries of accomplishment, making a habit of going out at least once a day and interacting with other people but my negative core values render many of these efforts into little more than a superficial mask. I still don't feel worthy but I'm still trying. Truth is, no matter how I have longed for a close relationship, I've never really had a close relationship and I have no friends to talk to. It's hard to say how long I can keep doing this.

I'm kind of in shock! I didn't know that was a disorder. I thought I was just weird. I think about that person every waking second and I lose my appetite. When the person is gone, it takes me an unresonably long time to get over them and then, I usually gain all the weight back. I've just ordered the book you recommended. Thank you so much for making this video.

I feel this right now. My relationship is crumbling and I just feel like being dead is the best option