Friends Can Tell Episode 4: “I’ve carried this burden that it was my fault”

Published 2022-07-08

Friends Can Tell Episode Four. Two best friends share their experiences of supporting a friend through a toxic relationship. Sarah (21) explains the heartbreak and guilt she felt when a close friend became a ‘shell’ of herself due to abuse, while Labake (21) talks about the important listening role she played for a friend in a similar situation. Sarah and Labake also both reflect on relationships from the perspective of being Deaf, and how they are impacted by society’s prejudices and misunderstandings.

Young people experience the highest rates of relationship abuse of any age group. When they experience toxic behaviour, a close friend is the person that young people are most likely to go to for help. The Friends Can Tell audio series features conversations between young people who stepped up to support their friends.

Highlights:
Sarah and Labake talk about:
- A friend turns toxic: Sarah regrets introducing her mutual friends [02:25]
- Seeing the impact of abuse on a friend’s self-esteem [03:44]
- The struggles of being a friend’s main support [05:40]
- The things Sarah and Labake wish they’d known [07:44]
- Toxic ex: how abuse continued after the breakup [09:55]
- Dealing with society’s misunderstanding as a Deaf person [12:09]
- Do adults understand what going on for young people right now? [13:54]

Help and resources:
The experiences Sarah and Labake share are their own personal stories and opinions. For advice on the safest ways you can help your friends and support the #FriendsCanTell campaign, check out the resources at yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

Transcript:
Available at yourbestfriend.org.uk/podcast.

Credits:
This vodcast is brought to you by the Friends Can Tell campaign. It was created in collaboration with its guests by On Our Radar, and produced by produced by Chris Walter, Chloe Cheeseman and Sarah Cuddon, with thanks to Feast Collective, film maker Will Hazell, editor Maria Pullicino, and accessibility support from the National Deaf Children’s Society and Diverse Signs.

An audio-only version of the Friends Can Tell podcast is also available. Find it wherever you get your podcasts.

Feedback:
Want to tell us what you think of the #FriendsCanTell campaign? Take our 2-minute survey: www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/5V67W9Y