Repressed Memories, Dissociative Amnesia, PTSD, and the Memory Wars

Not remembering can keep you in a dysfunctional family system with abuse. A part of healing is remembering and grieving. It takes time but yes recall is important

I'm a psychiatric nurse who started working 30 years ago. I sat in with a psychiatrist once who completely led his patient through suggestion with an over the top situation that she insisted she had no memory of. I was utterly disgusted with the scenario and felt very concerned for his patients. So much so that I reported him to the college of physicians.

I just roll with this: if I don't remember it I don't worry about it. I remember more than enough as is. I have decided to trust my own mind-body. Whatever I've suppressed or filtered out will either come back to me at some point or it won't. Whatever I don't remember right now is apparently something I'm not ready to handle. If something does recall itself to me I'll deal with it at that point.

I had repressed a traumatic experience until the aggressor contacted me decades later to apologize and it triggered my memory. They never said what they did - they just said they wanted to apologize for “what they had done”. At the time of the apology I wasn’t sure what they were talking about but as I drove home fragments of memories came together until the full event became clear. As I thought about it more and more I realized how the event had shaped my life in ways I hadn’t realized. I promptly found a therapist and talked it out. It helped a lot.

Memories sometimes flood back on their own without a therapist’s intervention.

I can 100% guarantee that forgetting a traumatic event is possible… I’ve been through SA from someone very important to me… and completely forgot about it for years. It’s only when the person died that while talking with my sister about how I thought I remembered strange dreams (without saying what they were), that she also admitted to having gone through the same thing… and that’s when I realized that it wasn’t dreams… it has happened and all of a sudden I started to remember bits of what happened afterwards that prompted me to forget. Without talking to anyone else about it mind you.. it wasn’t a case of hearing someone saying something and « suddenly remembering that very thing ». Obviously there’s a lot more details to this story but the important part is that for years I could not remember any of that abuse… even if someone else I knew went through something similar, I’d be like « I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you… » without even remembering that I did go through the same thing! It’s crazy! And then BOOM! It just came back as if it was a fuzzy dream one day… and is now weighing on me constantly… not ready to deal with it at all right now… and I wish I could forget it again but I can’t…

This is my curse. My worst enemy, my biggest frustration. I'm almost 20 and I cannot remember the past 4 hours (I had a breakdown). I cannot trust my memories, I cannot remember my nightmares, and many times, I can't say what's a dream and what's not. I wrote a poem about it that I don't expect anybody to care about but here it is just in case. Thanks for the video! Feels nice to not be alone. SHARDS. One's past is oft a glass painting that ever grows - The glass canvas of one's brain, being painted over With the colours of experience. If the glass cracks due to stress and age, Then your past stands out as a mosaic - Shattered memories collected over the years Crushed and splintered and broken by unspeakable pain And you are left with pieces and a gaping hole Where you should remember your life. The splinters pierce your being and make you bleed tears and screams And you are left alone with your insecurities, shaped by flames atop a stove, To piece your life back together, And revive the brilliant masterpiece Of an artistic depiction of joy and pain and growth Resisting cracks of trauma until it no longer could hold, No longer could bear to resist the pressure upon its shatter-point, And it gave away from its hamartia, As it all came crumbling down Within a growing child's brain. You will never get the original back, With some pieces crushed beyond repair, And many others lost forever. You, by yourself, attempt to arrange your life together, To piece together what makes you, To make sense of a puzzle with holes and crumbs And some pieces so sharply painful You cannot hold it or even look at it. A semblance of comfort is offered When you remember that a glass painting and a mosaic Are both works of art - One with its perfect, smooth elegance, And one with its broken beauty built back anew Into something that isn't what it was, but something new, something healing, Something of a miracle. Who are you? Who were you? Who could you be? Some questions will never be answered, Lest they chip away the dry paint, The few remainders of originality, The final bonds of sanity, Desperately hanging on to broken shards of glass.

This!!! 25 years in a narc/abusive marriage and I can barely remember anything! I used to forget he yelled and go on with life! A friend told me to keep track of my memory losses and evey one of them happened after his fighting. Even now, I sometimes catch myself dissociating when something negative enough happens.

Similarly to the car accident example, I had a memory come flooding back. I was not in a therapist office, I was at home watching a film. The main character in the film experienced something and that triggered the memory for me. I believe it to be a true memory. It came back in flashes one after the other until I eventually had the full story pieced together. It was really intense and emotional. I’m glad I was by myself. I ended up knelt on the floor doubled-over because it was so intense having all these flashes and I broke out in a sweat. I don’t believe I would’ve had that physiological response if it hadn’t been a real memory.

I knew a young person many years ago that had no memory of abuse (her siblings remembered it and it was medically established to have occured so she "knew" logically it had occured). She told me that she did not want to recover those memories, she did experience some issues with her siblings due to her missing memories, but overall she felt better not having memories of those events.

wonderful video! something I want to add from my own experience of healing is that remembering is not always helpful. If you replay a past scenario in your head over and over again, you will relive that painful experience repeatedly. its important to understand how past memories are impacting us but seeking new experiences simultaneously is important aswell. recall your experience only if necessary, but focus more on the present moment, on moving forward, and what the future holds.

I'm 70, and I didn't know things had changed so much in terms of repressed memories. I remember little of my childhood and grew up in a very dysfunctional and abusive family. For years when I was younger, I felt like I should be in therapy but the thought of being hypnotized by a therapist when it was just myself and them terrified me. Good to know that most therapists don't do this anymore. Thanks for the information!

I’ve experienced having False Memories. I used to love watching True Crime videos/documentaries ALOT for years. During the first few years, it just ignited my fascination with crime investigation and knowing the victims’ stories. They never triggered me or affected me in any way but as more years went by and I’m indulging myself more and more in many true crime stories, I’ve gradually become affected & triggered by them. I even cried for for the victims—especially kids—as if I knew them personally. It was so weird like I was actually feeling the similar fear of the victims moments before they died and grief of the family members. Next thing I know , it started to affect me and how I perceive my life. I started to ruminate and overthink stuff that happened to me as a child, etc that I would sometimes be in panic as I remember “memories” that “might’ve happened” to me. Mindfulness and not indulging in too much overthinking has helped me recover. I also rarely watch true crime shows now bc ik it still has some impact on my mental health. We really need to be mindful of the content we consume on the internet

Emma, you handled this sensitive topic beautifully ((hugs)). I used to be troubled about forgetting all the trauma as well as grades 1-10. My therapist, like you, won't lead, but says IF a memory is needed it will happen when it is safe and leads to more healing. Thx for sharing

After first year of therapy I was finally diagnosed with CPTSD. Thankfully I had a wonderful therapist. I continued seeing her for about 10 years. I have very little memories. We tried EMDR, I couldn't do it ,made me have a real skin crawling feeling, with only trying 2 times. So at the close of therapy, she said with just the things I do remember is enough, things I didn't realize where abnormal. So its frustrating because I go through periods where I want to know everything but I have to assume that I am being protected from something I would not be able to handle. So here I am with a real messed up diagnosis.

Love your channel Emma. Thanks for everything you do!

Your channel is amazing! It allows me to address some personal issues with kindness and patience. And it also brings helpful understanding of the processes in the brain. Thank you for sharing all this knowledge and experience.

Thank you. You've helped by giving me confidence in the way my therapist is dealing with past trauma.

Thanks much Emma. The video is so relieving to me coz I had child abuse trauma and I just kept feeling scared and unsafe thru out my life and constantly reminding and blaming my parents for doing so through out my life. I just knew from you that is how we feel and think and interpret the trauma that made us worse. Thanks Emma 😊

I'm from a strongly abusive, narcissistic family; I remember ALL of it!