How to Lead Tough Conversations | Adar Cohen | TEDxKeene

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Published 2019-11-11
The presentation will explore difficult conversations -- the costs of avoiding them, the benefits of having them, & the three simple rules to leading them successfully. With Adar’s help, gang leaders and police officers in Chicago are preventing gun violence. Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland are planning for a shared future. Across the private and public sectors Adar has helped people have big conversations that lead to powerful results. A Harry S. Truman Scholar, a Thomas J. Watson Fellow, and a George Mitchell Scholar, Adar holds a PhD in conflict resolution from the University of Dublin. He has lectured at Harvard University, the University of Chicago, and at the invitation of the King of Bhutan, lectured and consulted at Sherubste University, the Himalayan Kingdom’s first institution for higher education. He is a co-founder of Civic Leadership Foundation, which has achieved life-changing outcomes for over 20,000 at-risk youth. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
All Comments (21)
  • @pyschologygeek
    Have the maturity to sometimes know that silence is more powerful than having the last word.
  • @EleanorJosefina
    This is actually really important because conversations become so tense in an instant now.
  • @itsmidtrib1569
    I’ve always asked naive questions to keep conversations going, and it really works
  • @sososanchez3512
    Be more transparent, more intention , sharing is an opportunity for others to understand you better. Love this.
  • @Buzotales
    I have always had tough conversations whenever needed , it served me well in most cases , but there has been exceptions too where the other person was a bully and he wouldn’t listen to my point of view no matter what but only tried to enforce his opinion . You don’t always succeed but it’s always best to speak your mind .
  • @Bassywassy20
    That was beautiful, really inspiring. What he doesnt mention but points at through his examples is 'vulnerability'. A lot of people are scared of laying their cards on the table even though thats exactly what they want to do. Be the first to share and it opens up an opportunity for others. Depending on the situation that is sometimes a challenge for me as well, also because I'm not a very good smalltalker, but I've seen it work for me many times.
  • @53840mp
    Thank you, now I’m ready to talk to my estranged daughter...
  • @undulatokris8298
    My brother laughed at me when I said I wanted to take a course in communication or learn something about it. I'm happy to see that some people have studied something related to it on a higher level. I think learning to communicate better is very important for anyone who isn't entirely self relient and isolated (which is very uncommon).
  • @williammankel376
    This advice is profound. The ability to do what he suggests was fundamental to my job as a psychiatrist. It condenses my higher education re human behavior and how to deal with its aberrations and why there is no shortcut to achieving change but certainly hope for same if it can be conveyed to the patient as well as oneself
  • @user-ej1sl5rw7y
    Yes, Conversations create the future, we need it in every moment from our life, actually we need it to live our life. thanks, Adar.
  • @dianaferreirapacheco6607
    That's the biggest truth... I see that daily at work with the team... Everytime a good conversation change everything...
  • @garcettaakagbaby3648
    The symptoms of not having difficult conversations or having them poorly are real! 2:50 it could be minor issue. but it goes unaddressed • frustration sets in • communication constricts • tensions rise • trust evaporates • and collaboration is done.
  • @TerryandAntigone
    This is brilliant, superb! Thank you very much for sharing this.
  • @sirramshacklemakeshift2782
    Don't knowing anything - even if you do - is an essential one. Just used it by chance the other day and it worked very well.
  • @defendliberty1289
    This is the first TEDx speech since weeks that is actually useful and not just pandering to the "cult of woke".