Succeeding at Work You Love is a Powerful Part of Trauma Healing

Anna, once again, I wish you’d been around when I was younger. My CPTSD definitely impacted my career and earning potential. I’m earning a good income now, but my lack of confidence kept me habitually underemployed. When I did get a good job, I would typically burn hot and then flame out when I became overwhelmed upon getting more responsibility. Everything you’ve described in this video has happened to me. My lifelong pattern has left me in a financially precarious position at a time when I should be retiring. For younger people seeking healing on this channel, you’re very fortunate. ❤

Well my mental illness took me from an accomplished career in my field of study to cleaning toilets. I'm actually incredibly grateful to be able to make a living on my knees scrubbing filth. It's still far better than when I could not work at all and had to be on disability. Part of resilience is cultivating the ability to keep perspective.

I hate when companies tell you “we are like family!” For me, it created this false sense of security that I fell for over and over. In healing, it has helped a lot to flat-out reject that idea (silently and in my own mind). It has helped me to reframe my expectations at work.

Kind of off topic: I’ve mostly had serving and bartending jobs for the last 11 years. It’s definitely horribly draining at times HOWEVER I have newfound motivation because for the last few weeks I’ve been using my customers as practice for doing standup comedy! They don’t know that’s what I’m doing but it’s perfect. Every table is an opportunity for material now as well lol

I can’t watch TV! People think I’m weird. But it stresses me out and drains me. Wow. Thank you for saying that. I’m protecting my soul. Not on social media either. Just here on YouTube learning stuff. Thanks for sharing!

My perfect job was second shift union custodian at the schools. I got there at 2:30 p.m., started pulling trash, interacted with some people, (and most everyone who works at the schools are kind people, especially elementary School teachers! 😍🥰), then little by little everyone would start going home LOL. By around 7 p.m. I'd be on my own, cleaning, which is a mixture of art and science, I do believe. Get off at 11:00 pm. And I was appreciated there also. Also being a vendor/merchandiser, you are around people in the stores, but you can pick who you interact with. And some of us really need that aspect.

I have left so many jobs because of dysregulation . Thank you fairy I'm learning how to respond whenever triggered and not just leave

I recently learned that I've been holding myself back from career opportunities because of my anxiety and feeling like I'm not good enough or that I'll feel ashamed if I fail. Trying to find a job I love and feel fulfilled by and I hope I can believe in myself and be okay if it doesn't work out.

I’m currently in, I would say, “middle recovery” (4 years), and work challenges are huge! I relate to other commenters saying that they do so well at first then burn out quick. For me I struggle with the “good kid” complex. In school you’re really rewarded for being efficient, going beyond expectations, behaving, etc. Now that I’m a working adult I’ve realized that if you show them you can work more/faster, they just give you more work…. Hence, BURNOUT!! Makes total sense. Amazing vid as always Anna, you have the gift of “wise, loving aunt/older sister advice” 😄

I’m currently changing careers and back in school again at 42. This completely resonates with me. I have been laid off a million times because of my CPTSD. I only recently found out that this was my issue. I’m excited and very frightened to become a medical coder. I’m afraid of failure and other people. I officially passed my certification exam a couple weeks ago!

I disagree about your statement on quiet quitting. Because of my CPTSD I frequently used to interpret the work place as a place where I had to constantly go above and beyond. That I had to do more than they were asking of me, because otherwise they would know how much of a fraud I was right? But the concept of quiet quitting, just doing what is expected of me helped me set up boundaries, for myself and other people. In a work environment with a boss I think it is very easy for bosses to take advantage of trauma survivors, because let's face it in a corporation there are a lot of similarities between gaslighting and corporate expectations. The concept of quiet quitting is not about slacking off. It's about stepping into your boundaries and knowing that you have value even if that gets lost in the office.

Complex-PTSD stops me from even applying for jobs (especially dreading the interviews.) That aside, Complex-PTSD has robbed me of knowing myself and knowing what I like. I have no idea. Where do you start?

I'd just like to add that "quiet quitting" can actually be a great short-term solution to over-giving and burnout at work. It can be a way of setting boundaries that says, "No, I won't do the jobs of 3 people, I'm contracted to do my job and that's what I'll do" or "No, I work until 5pm and I won't be guilted into giving free labour that I'm not getting paid for, as it drains me". At the very least, it can enable you to remain employed and pay your bills while you use your conserved energy to find another job.

My job has been a lifesaver. It has shown me how valuable and loved I can be. It gives me chances to constantly better myself, set boundaries, learn from mistakes. I help people every day and impact their lives. Making my own money lets me be independent and uplift my family. When life can be filled with difficult relationships, my relationship with myself and my job is always there for me. Thank you for the reminder.

Update: I just emailed someone inquiring about another nursing job :) I am so grateful for this topic that has not really been addressed anywhere else. Being in a healthcare profession that craps all over me (cardiac nurse), I feel GUILTY to leave as if I'm abandoning my "family".....its CRAP FIT ... you help me see how this is trauma thinking... a total BLIND SPOT in CPTSD that no other professionals are addressing

Because of CPTSD I’ve been in Higher Education for 8 years and 4 universities still trying to get a Bachelors degree. It’s truly painful when you see people younger than you take your opportunities.

I’ve quit my studies twice (that would’ve gotten me to my then dream job) because of the symptoms of cptsd and now am stuck with a job I hate. I’m taking back my power though and doing several online studies so I can start doing what I love finally.

My nervous system is so fried and burnt out at this point, I just want peace and to be left alone.

I worked for a boss who was exactly like my abusive dad for 5 years. She refused to promote me, but when I asked what traits/behaviors I needed to develop to move up, she couldn’t come up with any feedback. She was notoriously harsh on the women on her team, and fawned over the guys, who were getting promoted with less experience. And she pissed off EVERYONE. Everyone in our industry knew her name for the wrong reasons, and I think she’s been fired or let go from nearly every agency in town. When I think about how I could put up with her for so long, I know it’s because my dad trained me to tolerate the worst behavior. Happily, I know longer work for her OR talk to my dad, and life is so much more peaceful and happy now.

It's very strange but as someone who was the workhorse at my past job getting yelled at by customers or a bad manager, I've found that spite and selfishness helped me move on from toxic work environments. I learned that yelling is a trigger for me, which prompts me to either leave the situation or enact physical consequences to stop the yelling (since these types of people cannot be reasoned with). Typical fight or flight response. But within that anger I felt a self-righteousness I never knew. It was telling me "Don't take that crap, look out for your own interests!" and I listened. Now I refuse to tolerate yelling of any kind in my daily life. I know my time is worth more than that, and I will quit jobs on the spot if I am disrespected. I also seek out jobs that allow me to work alone or have little customer contact. Don't be afraid to walk away from things that do not serve you. That is where true power comes from.