#1 Reason SENIORS End up in Nursing Homes (and what to do about it)

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My wealthy aunt stipulated in her will that she was to die in her house. Any attempt to move her into a nursing home automatically meant her kids will be cut out of her will. 😂She is 95 and still living in her house.

When I worked in a nursing home for 13 years, sometimes what people don’t understand is that a lot of us REALLY DO CARE! They short staff us, we don’t have supplies we need. There’s just not enough of us to care for everyone. Sometimes one person can be responsible for 20 residents! The healthcare system needs totally revamped and a premium needs put on care givers so we can do our job.

I rescued an elderly friend from a nursing home where they threw schizophrenia patients in with the frail seniors and she felt unsafe. Got the state agency involved to spring her. She came to live with me five years. As she had mild dementia i found a wonderful senior day care with wonderful activities and enrolled her. She had her own room at my house, home cooked meals, and we would go on daily walks. My German Shepherd loved her and decided she would become his job. Things went terrific, she felt loved and i loved caring for her. Them she got Covid and everything fell apart. Luckily the hospital discharged her into a facility near my house when she needed 24 hour care which was beyond my ability. I visited her several times a week. When she no longer recognized me i would sit with her and play her favorite music. Now she is gone. My German Shepherd passed a few months before her and i feel better knowing he is still loving and caring for her. I am totally at a loss but expect i will adjust eventually.

I’m 66, retired, on no meds, rebound at least 60 minutes daily as well as walking my dog and kettlebell workouts 2-3 times per week. I fast one day per week, eat a meat-heavy diet with fermented vegetables, no alcohol, and sleep at least 8 hours per night. I settled on this routine after a cousin celebrated her 100th birthday. I really never considered living into 90s+ so started tightening up my self-care. No way do I want to live in a nursing home. If I can’t do for myself, I don’t want to live. Take care of yourselves.

A nursing home should not be a dumping ground for seniors.

As a rehab therapist within a nursing home I can tell you that the number one thing that determines whether you go home to live alone or become a resident is the ability to safely self toilet oneself, regardless of whether you can do it with or without use of a wheelchair.

There is an Adage that suggests: You can Judge a Society by the Way They Treat Their SENIORS.

I grew up in the nursing home business back in the 60s and 70s and they were not good back then; today, my brother is owner of one and they are horrible. It is not always due to the owners not caring about having the residents properly cared for, although that is true in more cases today than before, but rather a lack of people willing to care for the elderly and care for them with compassion and competency. These places will only be as good as the quality of those that are being employed to administer patient care, and this country is well below poor when it comes to caring for our seasoned citizens.

I was in a nursing home twice in 6 months due to some health issues. The first time the hospital took away medication, giving me edema and reducing my Potassium. I could not leave until these issues, caused by the hospital, were removed. They also acted as though it was against the law to live alone. The second time I was given small furniture, which was not built for a tall person like myself. Because I couldn't get out of a kindergarten chair, I had to stay in the home! They don't realize that we can be creative. I sat on the floor to unplug some things and because my knees hurt to get up, I scooted on my butt to the garage where there were steps that became a chair for me to stand. We should not just have to go to a home because of our age.

My mom’s dying wish was to die at home. She was 81 and had stage four lung cancer. I work full time and have a home with 2 sons which one still lived at home at the time. I made it happen with help from some family members. Was it difficult, yes but I wouldn’t have done it any other way. People need to honor the elderly. Take care of your own.

I am doing my best to stay independent . I would rather go into a care home or die than live with my children. I did not bring them into this world to have their lives tied down by me. My mother is 101 and still thinks it is her right to order me around. Sometimes parents can live a lot longer than their children.

I have to laugh at myself! I am 94 years young and two of my children have returned to the family home! We lead our own lives with help available for me but I am determined to stay in my own home. Love Totterer and Potterer, try and stay free!

Listen to him. Besides arthritis, my mom was in good health. Except to go to the bathroom and to the kitchen for food, she literally sat all day, every day. Now, she's bedridden and I'm stuck taking care of her. Please stay active and don't burden your children. Also, being stuck in bed is an extremely low quality of life.

Sometimes the doctors won’t take you off the meds because it benefits them. Good luck and god bless.

I’ve been helping keep my mother in her own home (she’s 91) with my siblings. I have more response from a blank wall than I get trying to talk to them about removing medicines from her list. Either they are too overstretched as providers or too afraid of lawsuits to even hear me. In particular, I wanted the statin med to be removed. She’s 91. Finally my mom had a real improvement in cognition and I asked my brother what happened. He said she stopped statins. I asked him how he got the doctors to stop it. He replied he didn’t. He just stopped giving it to her. Having others who care advocate for you and participate in your health care is probably another key.

For all the wonder stories people go on about, I have one thing to say...in one second all that could crash. Never boast about your good health when it can shame others for in a moment all your good fortune could change.

I worked in Nursing Homes since I was 16 and I’m 66 now. I’ve been anything from a CNA to the Director of food Services. I’ve worked in many places and some have been fair and other horrible. I’ve seen so many sad and many terrible things. It scares me to even think of ever having to go into a Nursing Home. Most of the issues revolve around lack of staff. Most CNAs go into the work wanting to take care of the elderly, but quickly become burnt out due to lack of staff and eventually take it out on their patients. And it’s sad to say they see the nurses sitting behind the counter chit chatting about their personal lives except during their couple medication/wound care rounds per shift. Often these don’t take long. The CNAs are so over worked that they don’t have time to answer call lights or take their residents to the bathroom. They get scolded by staff and families for this but the Nurses just ignore the problem and say it’s not their job to help the CNAs. I think it’s terrible. I honestly hope I never have to go into a Nursing Home, but if I do I hope my children chose wisely but often there’s not a lot of choices on where to go if you don’t have great insurance. Children should visit the Nursing home often. These patients often get the best care. Ask questions, especially if something seems off. Ask for female CNAs for a female patient. I (have horror stories I won’t get into here.) It would be a great thing to put a camera in the patients room and check it often, either seen or unseen by the staff. If they do know it’s there it could act as a deterrent to misconduct. Sorry I don’t have more confident things to say about Nursing Homes. I know many people don’t have a choice about putting loved ones in them and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. Just do the best you can, visit often and be an advocate for your loved one.

I'm surprised he didn't address CLUTTER. Many seniors have so much stuff especially on the floor and it's so easy for them to trip over. Also not mentioned was type of footwear worn in the house. I sold shoes for over a decade and had so many seniors wanting slippers with open back that are easy on.....but so easy to come off the foot as well, and no support. Another minor point about footwear is type of sole. Make sure the bottoms are not slippery...NO knitted slippers, please! But if the person has a walker, they need a smooth,flat, firm bottom because the person rends to slide one foot in front of the other and if the surface catches, they can fall forward.

I moved furniture for two plus decades. Countless moves into facilities. From independent living to memory care. I cannot imagine a more exquisite manifestation of hell than living in a facility. Even the nicest. It's a cage with gilded bars. Being a mover I am also well aware of falls. They are no joke. Falls are what eventually end your career.