What to NOT say to a cancer patient/survivor (and what you should say/do!!)

You are speaking my feelings exactly! Some comments..."I know you should..." . Aaah!!!! It's endless. I must follow my thoughts/decisions. Thanks for voicing all your thoughts 🌺

I was at a wedding and a friend of the family came up to me and told me how beautiful I am and how she just can’t believe this is happening to US and then broke down crying. Ugh. First off, not the place! I’m trying to enjoy the celebration and put cancer on the shelf for a bit and this gal made not only me uncomfortable but all who heard. Oh please people!

Thank you for being honest and sharing. I was diagnosed with stage 2 nodular melanoma in October 2022 - I know it's not breast cancer but I've experienced some similar comments. I felt that the worst comment I got was "it's only skin cancer". They may have been trying to be positive , but it was the day I went in to meet the surgeon to discuss my "options" I had a wide local excision and a sentinel lymph node biopsy. Later I went through 11 treatments of. immunotherapy until I developed vertigo and tinnitus.

Thats true when people bring you homemade food for you and your family after Chemotherapy it is such a blessing! Thank you to all of you who care enough to show it more through actions then words!

One friend told me she was having a tummy tuck and would lose some hair and that we could trade stories. Another friend told me my stage 3 triple negative cancer will come back. The Human Resources person at work told me to update my beneficiary on my life insurance policy as it was missing. Another person said that I sounded good when I talked to her on the phone (should I had sounded bad?). I was diagnosed with Triple Negative in March of 2020. I tested negative for BRACA1 & BRACA 2. I have finished 4 A/C and now started Taxol for 4 treatments. More than halfway finished with chemo. So far, I am tolerating it well (thank you God). I finish chemo mid-July and will have a double mastectomy mid-August (no reconstruction). The physical side effects of chemo have been manageable but the mental struggle has been real. My Onocologist saw my mental slide and acted quickly. I am seeing a Psychiatrist and social worker and they put me on an antidepressant which has helped. The dark slide scared me but we are on top of it now. Don't know what my future holds but cancer will not rule my life. I already made my mind up to that. If anybody is struggling with chemo and cancer diagnosis, please reach out for help with mental health doctors, medication or support groups. There is help out there for you. I am really cleaning up my diet and will develop an exercise routine that is healthy and not extreme. I am going to reduce stress in every area of my life especially my job which I plan on leaving as soon as I can. We are club of strong women and men and I wish well to everyone going through cancer diagnosis and treatment.

Hi Nikki! How are you doing? I hope you are still doing well. Your channel has been sanity-saving for me. I had the same cancer and treatment, and brca1 gene, diagnosed at the same age. Your story is identical to what I just went through. I appreciate the way you speak about it. Thank you for making these videos.

Just wanted to say you look amazing! That hair style looks so good on you 🤗

Eight months ago I stumbled across your channel. I was newly diagnosed with TNBC and BRCA 1 positive. I have just finished up 4 treatments of chemo. I’m 34 with 2 small children. I just want to thank you for making videos and sharing your story. I constantly watched your videos and took notes. Thankfully I have handled this all pretty well...but I’d like to give you some credit. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I love how you presented the “your brave... inspirational” because I know people mean well but, you are right. You are simply choosing to live, so you kind of have to go through chemo, surgery, radiation, etc.

I was diagnosed with stage 3 TNBC also. It is good to hear your story, and I have the same feelings you do! Thanks for being brave enough to post!

This is right on! So right about everything and it is just so helpful! I am also a TNBC survivor since July this year...I am really struggling with PTSD and would love to hear how you are managing your survivorship.

you are so right...i am near to finish chemo..i am especially pissed when people tell me breast cancer is a good one to have..it is cancer there is not a thing good about it..

Thank you for your contribution with your story ... sad to say I’ve had all of those “not” to say to a cancer patient. I am a survivor of stomach cancer had it twice in this life time... first time 9 years ago and partial gastrectomy and last year full gastrectomy. I went to surgery with my heart on hand and I had a smile on my face okay if I had to die. Thankfully to my team of doctors I am doing great. I will listen to people however I am not everyone’s story... and science has changed and research is amazing. I am great-full to my practice of Yoga that made me stronger and know that I am not everyone. I am strong and full of life... “you are beautiful and amazing” I agree there isn’t a good kind of cancer, People like to be victims and label themselves as supper rare etc etc. Cancer is and will always be scary, how we deal with difficulties are personal. Bless your heart for being brave and staying strong. I wish you a heartfelt good and healthy future. 💗💗

Nikki, a great video, thank you. For me the worst thing some people told me was that Chemo will kill me before cancer will. So instead I should take plenty of soda bicarbonate, no sugar etc, and make my body alkaline. Also not to listen to my doctors ..... To hear all that at the beginning of my treatment was really awful and scary. I believed that my doctors will save my life, not that they are rubbish.

I so, so needed this video today. Thank you. Thank God for putting this video in all the random videos I watch.

Thank you for sharing. Heard some of these already. Guarding my heart. God bless u.

Thank you so much for making this video. I will share

You're so well spoken and encouraging to listen to, thank you. I start chemo next week and am trying to educate myself but not scare myself ( more so than I already am) I have a strong circle of friends and family and want them to stay calm with me. Continued good health and thank you for sharing your experiences.

Hi Nikki, it's good your bringing to light..thoughtless words....the one I hate is, "did they catch it earley?" People should just say I'm sorry...Im praying for you (unless your not, dont lie). And it is annoying that everyone wants to tell you who they know that has cancer, when its not about them, its about you.

This was very helpful, thank you and god bless you!