Bright: The Apotheosis of Lazy Worldbuilding | Video Essay
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Published 2018-02-01
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All Comments (21)
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Choose your race: Elf, Dwarf, Orc, Mexican
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In the heart of Mount Everest, great rings were forged. Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf Lords; great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine rings were gifted to the race of Mexicans, who above all, got shit for the Alamo.
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Imagine beating a raccoon to death in your yard and then saying “raccoon lives don’t matter today”
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We hate orcs... Because they fought under the Dark Lord... Who was an elf... Who was only defeated because of an orc. Flawless world building.
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Imagine someone saying “once with hitler always with hitler” about Germans
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I agree with all your criticisms but one. Shrek exists in all possible timelines
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"You know what they say about the Italians, once with Julius Caesar, always with Julius Caesar"
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That one graffiti in there with the elf puppeteering the human that's beating on an orc feels like it comes from a much better movie that actually fully explores the implications of the stratified society.
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"WHO WERE THE NINE RACES?! WERE MEXICANS PART OF THE 9 RACES?!" I love that line.
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"See how I glitter!" VS "I ate the WHOLE plate." VS "I'm losing to a bird!" VS "Fairy lives don't matter today." CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY
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I think what frustrates many people about Bright is that "fantasy creatures in a contemporary setting" actually sounds like a novel and fresh idea in a genre that is dominanted by medieval stasis.
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"once with the dark lord, always with the dark lord" is such an insane line
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My takeaway from this: Bright is a bad movie, but I would TOTALLY watch an urban fantasy buddy cop movie with Legolas and Gimli.
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Me about British people: “You know what they say, once with King George always with King George”
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The fact they could’ve named it belferly hills is a heartbreak I will never recover from
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“Were Mexicans one of the nine races?” is basically all the commentary you need to make about Bright’s awful worldbuilding 😂
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If nobody gets the “why didn’t they hire a screenwriter” joke it in reference to the fact that it was written by max landis, a known sexual predator...
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If Shrek exists that means Smash Mouth exists. I like to imagine that the lead singer of Smash Mouth is an orc in the "Bright" universe.
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I've just realized one thing. Jakoby blasts in the car heavy metal and Ward turns it off with "we will not be listening to orkish music" So Orcs like heavy metal. That is their genre. THEN WHY DO THEY ALL WEAR DURAGS AND HAVE HIP-HOP INSPIRED URBAN GANGSTA FLAVA?!
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I will never get over the "BE YORCELF" graffiti at 5:11. That's not punk graffiti, that should be a dopey motivational poster on Jakoby's desk
