What to wear to a wedding, Victorian style? Fashion advice from the Victorians etiquette books

Fun fact: white has been traditional for Jewish weddings (particularly Ashkenazi) longer than for xtian weddings. But in Jewish weddings white doesn't have the creepy misogynist "I have an intact hymen" symbolism. Both the bride and groom wore white for the same reason we frequently wear white for Yom Kippur: to symbolize a blank sheet of parchment with all of our recorded sins erased. A couple's wedding day is supposed to be their own personal Yom Kippur, and Orthodox couples will still fast until after the ceremony, so that they go into their new life together with a blank slate, or blank parchment, with all of their sins from their individual lives erased.

“Because humans are like this” an underused reason when it so often applies

Video idea: how to dress for first impressions: job interviews, meeting your partner’s parents, etc.

In Korea, it was traditional to wear red at the wedding. Those dresses were heavily embroidered so there was no way you could upstage a bride Fun fact: those particular dresses were only reserved for royalty, but peasant girls were allowed to wear them on their wedding day so they can be a princess for a day. There was a dedicated place where those wedding clothes were kept and you could go borrow them for your wedding ceremony

Scandinavian folk clothes including bridalwear usually have a lot of black in them. My folkdräkt has a black wool skirt and a red bodice and the apron and all the accessories have a bunch of different colours. The costumes are usually mostly black and red and the embroidery and jewellery and details are very colourful.

As a former wedding photographer, my advice is to follow the cues of your invitation (the printing, any instructions, the type of venue), what folks involved in the wedding are saying about how the wedding party is approaching the wedding (my/our big day or joy-centered celebration), and just don't overdo it. Also, wear shoes that you can be in for the whole day and reception or have a change of shoes in the car for between the wedding and reception. Simple flats or sandals are fine if heels do not love your feet!

I went to a wedding about 15 years ago, and the redheaded bride wore a champagne silk satin dress: It was an absolutely exquisite combination 🤗

Fun fact for you…Mary Queen of Scots wore a white wedding dress for her wedding day to the Dauphin of France. It was said to be richly made the color of ivory with orange blossoms and Lilies, can’t remember which kind, embroidered on it. People who witnessed were said to be shocked and were in awe of her choice of color. I don’t know why I know this, just a random tidbit of trivia. Have fun at the wedding whatever you wear, I dig purple, it’s my jam. Cheers❤

I think I remember reading/hearing from an older relative, that lower-income brides would dye the white dress and put it into regular usage after.

We had a hike-in wedding and now I never want to attend another fancy dress wedding again. No pomp, just comfy clothes, good times with friends, and all the dogs and kids. 12/10, would recommend 😄

I have nothing to contribute to this conversation but I shall comment to feed the algorithmic machine. All hail the algorithm.

I have a fashion plate, from 1869. The bride is wearing a blue underskirt and a lot of froof in white. It's quite low cut, like a ballgown. The bridesmaid (aged about 7) is wearing a white petticoat with a pink jacket, and what looks like the matron of honour (I am guessing it's the bride's married sister) is wearing a very stylish light brown silk. PS green is deemed to be bad luck because it's the colour of The Good Ones, and you might have them steal the bride

Back when I was planning my own wedding, I remember reading somewhere that BLUE was originally the color associated with purity, because of its association with the Virgin Mary. I thought about having a blue wedding dress since I look good in blue, but ended up loving a beautiful ivory peau de soie gown. Maybe for our tenth anniversary next year we'll do a vow renewal and I'll wear blue!

My paternal grandmother wore a purple dress to her wedding. Family lore is divided on her reasoning when white was the standard by then (maternal gran wore white), with some thinking it was a Sunday Best situation, others thinking it had to do with some patriarchy-induced shame about bad things that happened to her as a very young child. My hope is that it was an intentional choice to spite her uptight family.

I remember hearing that, although blue had been used as a symbol of purity in earlier times, Victoria decided against it as blue (as a symbol of purity) was the colour most commonly associated with pictures of the Virgin Mary, and she didn’t want to be seen as a Catholic sympathiser. Red (the colour of life and fertility) had also often been worn at wedding, but Victoria had worn red for her coronation, and wanted her wedding to be seen as a union between man and wife, not Queen and subject. She chose white because it held no symbolism at all, so couldn’t be misconstrued. After the royal wedding, all the brides wanted to wear white because that was what the Queen had worn.

My Finnish maternal grandmother wore all black to her rural wedding in the late 1930s. She was born in 1917 in a part of Karelia that became a part of Russia after WW2. On the other hand, my Swedo-Finnish paternal grandmother wore all white to her wedding, in the mid-1930s. She was born in 1907 in Helsinki, our capitol, where she also got married.

My Dutch grandmother wore a dark silk dress for her wedding in the early 1920s. Many European Catholic traditions had the bride wear a new dark dress to indicate her new status, with a change of headdress style to further reinforce the message.

To preface: I really love my mother in law even though she can sometimes be a lot, especially when she’s excited about something. So when I was planning my wedding I remember her being almost horrified that my mother was planning to wear a black dress. I couldn’t have cared less, especially since the dress suited my mom’s typical style. And I wanted her to feel comfortable in what she wore. The funniest part about it to me was that my mother in law wore this dark navy dress that I would have mistaken for black if she hadn’t had that reaction to my mother’s dress color.

I think the white dress she held up gets even more of a free pass because most women get married in floor length dresses made of nonpatterned fabric. But also it's a gay wedding so who cares? It looks cute!

I once wore a lovely warm-red dress, as in, not siren red but slightly darker (but not burgundy) and then the bride turned up and was wearing the exact same shade of red - LOL!! Never knew about the orange blossoms, btw. I know I saw them mentioned in books etc. but didn't realise how significant they were for brides.