The Pain Of Living In A Past That's Long Gone..........

When you're a kid, there's nothing more you want than being an adult. When you're an adult, there's nothing more you want than being a kid again.

Man I miss the past to much a lot. It ruins my days and makes me depressed. I miss my old friends, old music I listened to, and even how we dressed.

You never realize how great things are before your whole life goes left

This is so me. It's a continuous loop... I just want to let it all go.

I'm stuck in this constant never ending loop of living in the past. I've tried and tried again to get over it but i just seem to be stuck in it. Just feels like everyones getting on in life and i'm just being left behind.

You just described how I live my life every single day.

ocd expert Mark Freeman said it perfectly, you dont want normal back because normal is what got you in your current situation.

The world needs more Noah's

Yes, I'm sick with this symptom. I relive it to the point where I'm almost tricked into believing it is real

The irony of this video. I miss 2014 the most and I would give everything to go back, even for just a second. And I don’t want to be like this anymore, but I can’t help it.

Time only goes in one direction, my friend. You’re on a different timeline now. You’ve caught a different wave.

I was watching this old video of you Noah. I think I watch your videos because you remind me so much of my son. He lives in the past also. So painful to watch someone go thru this.

Thankyou for describing my day to day existence. The first 40 years of my life were too good and I can hardly cope with how things are now. I have severe anhedonia. Nobody can empathize with me and I feel very isolated. So thankyou again from what's left of my broken heart 💔

I keep doing this because nothing better has come to replace what I'm missing. So I have nothing but my past.

This is me. Especially when I listen to any music from Nintendo. I loved playing video games with my buddies as a young kid. Was such a beautiful time.

I relate to this so much. I've realised sharing experience is really important because you could make someone else feel less alone. I used to do this so much, it's like a heartbreaking nostalgia, thinking back to a time when I had friends, when I could enjoy myself in a carefree way, when I felt emotion so intensely and felt like I had purpose and meaning and passion. I guess its not very good for me, but I feel like its my duty to keep the memories alive in a weird way

I miss the past too. I had so much fun back then. Granted, everyday wasn't the greatest but it was better than the present. I had friends and family back then but now I don't. My best friend died on March 4th 2015 and a felt like a part of me died with him. I have depression and I just don't like the present and dread the future because the future is going to be worse than the present.

I also believe that depression is a coping mechanism for anxiety, because if your mind shuts off it cannot be stimulated by the things that create anxiety.

One of your best videos. I used to have this exact feeling. I still have it, but in a slightly different way. I used to think there was the "innocent, happy, care-free me" and I lost it due to my breakdown. Now I think that, even if nothing that dramatic hadn't occurred, some things would've shaped me. Things that, perhaps, I don't pay that much attention to now, since I've been through - and continue to go through - much worse. What I think describes my current feelings best is that my change feels dramatic since it wasn't gradual. I think people usually go through stages and change a bit at every stage. So if you were at point A when you were young, something would happen that would get you to point B, then on to C etc. But this... This is like going from G to L without going through any other stages. I'm sure you realize what I'm getting at here. Much like with you, everything happened so fast for me. If I'm at stage L now, it seems like I'm a different person, since I was previously at stage G, not stage K. I mean, we change all the time, but this is like one of those 80s "body switch"-comedies where a guy goes to bed and wakes up being 60 years older or younger. Again, I think eventually I would have been pretty much the person I am today. It just would've taken a longer time and the changes happening at one time would've been more minor, which would've given me time to adapt to them. Of course, with depersonalization, there are times when I feel like I'm not me at all, but usually my thoughts go in the lines of "this is me, but this version of me is not supposed to be here yet, I should still be the previous version of me". Complex issues, and unless you've experienced them, I don't think you can understand them. Thankfully there are people like you who do understand, and share their experiences. Keep it up.

There are seminal moments, defining moments in life. And when they occur life is defined by them - what life was before that moment, what life was after that moment. The pain of living in the past is agonizing when the long night is yours alone. Thanks Noah, for articulating how this feels - it gives me comfort that I'm not alone in this hell called life!