I've lived as a man & a woman -- here's what I learned | Paula Stone Williams | TEDxMileHigh

9:48 "The more you're treated as if you don't know what you're talking about, the more you begin to question whether or not you do, in fact, know what you're talking about."

I will share a funny story: Im a girl who do car mechanic (D.E.P. graduated). One day I saw two men with their car break down on the side of the road, and they seem to search what's the problem. To be nice, I stopped and offered to help them. They look at each other with a little smile, and answer me "you think you can help us?". But the tone of voice clearly means "be realist, you cannot do nothing to help us". (I know this tone of voice very well, Im used to. Like if I am a 5 years old child. But its weird, I NEVER heard a man talk like this to an other man.) Just after that, to show me that they control the situation, one of the guy crawl under the car near the gas tank saying "we are ok, I just need to repair the gas pump, its nothing". So... I've made a beautiful smile, wish them a good evening, and leave... knowing that the acces to his gas pump is IN the car under the backseat, and not under the car. Hahahahahahah!!!! Seriously! Its ridiculous! And I have so much story like this, I could write a book if I wanted to! -->ps: excuse for my bad english

“The more you’re treated as if you don’t know what you’re talking about, the more you begin in fact to question if you know what you’re talking about” I struggle with this a lot being a young engineer, I know my coworkers don’t mean to but wow it really holds me back from having the confidence I need to be successful

"Do whatever it takes to honor the journey of another" is truly profound. Thank you for your wisdom.

Every time Paula says something Women: clapping enthusiastically Men: awkwardly look around before beginning to clap

"He called me Paula"...brought tears to my eyes.

I’m female an immigrant myself from Japan with an accent. I’m here for 20y+ I’m a mother and business woman now. I’ve learned how difficult being a woman here too since I left Japan because I wanted to get away from it. One thing to add what it makes me sad about it is some of women don’t treat other women the same as men. They prefer men do well than other women hustling and getting there. It seems like nature but so sad. And I want to support all women more by knowing it.

I was about to bypass this talk because to be honest, I am still in that traditional space of the definition of the sexes. I was led to pause and listen. I am so glad I did. I now believe that if we view everyone as HUMAN before everything else, living in our world will become so much better. The words sound so corny to my own ears but it is the truth. I felt the humanity in Paula and I forgot everything else.

"You don't have to apologize for being right" that hit really hard.

I always come back to this whenever I'm feeling out of place. Thank you Paula.

I didn’t know I needed to hear that talk. It’s very inspiring, and oddly comforting. We’re not imagining this or overreacting and a lot of the men who do it don’t think they’re doing it. It’s time we start making everyone more conscious of their unknown bias, maybe things can start changing and our daughters can live better lives.

I'm female with a guy's first name. It's amazing the treatment that I get online when people think I'm a guy, compared to in person. I know exactly what she's talking about. I see the difference every day.

"He is 93 and he's willing to try, what more could you ask?"

Admittedly, I have spent many years of MY life quite isolated. It has been difficult for me to really 'SEE' what so many others apparently have seen (witnessed with their own eyes) for decades now. This video really has me thinking about things I haven't ever truly/fully recognized regarding my life as a female. Thank you.

OMG I laughed and cried at the same time. Paula you’re a wonderful person! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

At no point did she claim to know what it is like to be a cis woman. She gave examples of how life has changed for her and revelations she has had. That's neither offensive nor demeaning.

"You don't have to apologize for being right." YES - THIS.

The part about being treated like you dont know what you're talking about and not being able to get a straight answer out of men hit me HARD

Women have been experiencing this for so long that it almost feels normal/expected now. Fortunately, the awareness is on the rise, women are proving every second that they CAN do the job and there are good men out there genuinely supporting. You are amazing Paula, keep talking ... keep inspiring!

My husband and I are middle eastern and my husband actively puts me forward and gives me space to allow to speak and voice my opinion especially when it is my area of expertise and when someone tries to demean him or interrupt me, he just smiles and tell them to stop feeling so threatened and listen or he simply turns to me and asks me even though he knows what I would say or he could simply answer as he has also his own opinions. It takes a lot of confidence to be an actively supportive man, especially in a culture where women mainly smile and work