This morning, I received the nicest call from my make-believe dispatcher named Jeff.

Published 2024-06-10
This morning, I received the nicest call from my make-believe dispatcher named Jeff.

(This is a self-employed David Harvey's dream message from a pretend dispatcher that doesn't currently exist at David Michael Harvey LLC, and usually dispatchers don't do butler work. This is the fantasy of just being able to focus on doing the actual fieldwork instead of all the other baggage.)

---

Hi David, it's Jeff. It's a great day at DMH, LLC Corporate. It is Monday, June 10, 2024, 8 a.m.

Just a reminder, we need you at the client's location by 9 a.m. this morning. Please make sure to complete the install by 2 p.m.

Your parents are doing fine health-wise and will likely live to the age of 120 and will then pass on peacefully into the afterlife with no pain or regrets, meeting their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ soon after crossing over.

Also, don't forget that we've got fresh cooled-down coffee and breakfast ready for you: scrambled eggs and toast. Your clothes are laid out, the shower is ready, and the drains in the house are now working since they were fixed. The whole house water filter at the other client's place has been replaced, your laundry and dishes are done perfectly, the rent is paid, the hubcaps are on the Kia, the payment to the other contractor is done, credit cards are paid off, and we've got your mileage tracking automated, your expense receipts managed, your Home Depot records monitored, your profit tracking taken care of, your quarterly taxes sorted out, all your back taxes handled, your tax debt paid, and your school loan paid off. Your 2020 through 2023 transactions are labeled perfectly as business expenses and business income. That advanced dietary product you like is on order to help your energy levels. Your tools are organized, and your install sequence for today updated. Incoming calls are handled by explaining that you are just one person, you take your time but do a great job. Because you take your time, there is craftsmanship, and craftsmanship has a reasonable price.

We've answered all your emails that need to be answered, your cooler bag and lunch is packed, and your stuff is in your car ready to go. All you gotta do is do your stretches, get out the door, and focus on your install.

Before heading out, pick up the parts you need from the part pickup area in the warehouse.

And you get a raise for pointing out the liability the contractor was causing.

We at corporate are inspired by how you treat each family you install for like your own and how they are not just a paycheck to you.

Have a great day!

Remember to keep God first: "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" (Colossians 3:23, ESV) and "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13, ESV).


ChatGPT helped organize my thoughts for this pretend voicemail that my pretend dispatch pretend left me this morning. And one of the ChatGPT voices read it while I made a screen recording while I scrolled it. Then I added music in KineMaster video editing app for Android. And Openai put "Umms" and "Uhhs" in the text-to-speech engine that make it sound human-like and that impresses my nerdy brain.

All Comments (1)