What we ALL got WRONG about Self-Help/Self-Improvement

Very much agreed, find your true authentic self and leveraging that your advantage is powerful. Have observed in myself that self-help/improvement will not produce results unless you take real world action upon your learnings. If you become more self-aware, for example of you fear of rejection, that is good that you have that awareness, but you will not get results until you take action against that knowledge, like exposing yourself to rejection over and over again until you are better able to cope with it. That's scary, but worthwhile. I am stuck in a self-help cycle, learning more and more, yet never taking action, so i never see improvement, so i feel i need to keep learning more and more. When really I need to step outside and face the music, confront my fears and learn the hard way.

The format is great, don't change it :)) those videos help me getting a bigger picture, think and meditate about myself. I love how you can find accurate precise words to express your emotions. i'm working on that, thx for the videos :))

Im hitting the thirties soon and still haven't finished my education. Lately (and multiple times during my study) i've been doubting my choice of education. I study music and i decided to do that because i thought that it was my purpose. When i was a teenager people around me suddenly started pushing me more towards music because i could sing. I ended up half committing to it for a few years. But decided to do something completely else because i felt the the environment was too toxic for me. I in posession of the book "power of now" that made a lot of things fall in to place. I went traveling only to find out that people who are not from the environment thought i was gifted and it gave me back the joy in music. And so i decided to study music but more in the area of social studies. But im back where i started before i went traveling and this time its even worse. I've lost contact with a lot of people from that time and now im in an environment where people are more committed to looking like musicians than being ones. In the almost 5 years i've been studying none of my classmates have been committed to our studies and i've had to listen to them complaining about our lectures while scoring top grades myself. But that never made me feel happy. Cause the entire time I've had no friends that shares my interest in music and the environment im in now is more toxic than the one i was in before. Half a year ago i got in a relationsship. I'm telling myself i should be happy because i have a girl friend that loves me. But the truth is that its really hard to come home and be a good boyfriend when your everyday life is making you miserable and draining the positive energy out of you. I end up feeling bad about how i feel because i can't be as positive as she would want me to be. I believe you're right and i believe that i was wrong when i was 25 and thought i've worked out what i had to do with my life. I believe i have yet to uncover what are actually my strenghts and what truly makes me thrive.

Speaking of comparison, Jay, i couldn’t even post anything on instagram because of social anxiety, i don’t even use my actual photo for my profiles on the internet, not to mention shoot and share such a honest video about your insecurities, so you’re doing really great comparing to me. I know in some sense it’s not constructive and not really working (because looks like lying to yourself) to compare yourself to worse than better since our brain just won’t work this way, it’s designed to search any cons and ignore the pros in our particular situation - all for progress. But after-all i would be glad if it helps you feel a little better. ;)

love the channel mate, it's always so relatable, keep going.

man you look alot happier then 2 years ago. that video you posted lead me here. thank you bro.

People when they turn 30, they go through what in Vedic Astrology we call "Saturn's Return". Its an event that makes you reevaluate every decision you have taken so far, sometimes it can be painful if your Saturn is very strong in your birth chart and these transformations (which will likely continue till your 36th year) will most definitely propel you into greatness. Give it a read. It could be helpful.

Jay I'm in Gaza right now and your videos really help brighten my day. Cheers, stay great

Jay I have 100% been where you are. If you truly felt that you would be able to handle any situation that occurred in front of you, your anxieties would subside.I wonder what you think is the worse that can happen? You absolutely would be able to handle it 💯. Comparison is the road to nowhere as we can never be someone else, it will use up your energy and rob you of joy. All of that energy must go on yourself, with no exceptions. You have a brilliant understanding already, articulate and intelligent. You have every right to be the absolute best you can be. I had to get angry in the end with how I felt and have a zero tolerance for negative self talk and doubt. Sorry if this all sounds a bit mad as it is difficult in a comment lol

Like for honesty

I think doing something that is hard for you like maths can be extremely useful, and I would not recommend against it. But ofc you shouldn't beat yourself up if you don't become the greatest mathematician.

Self reflection > self improvement books/ videos

I haven’t told anyone this, but during lockdown I paid £4,000 for a dating coach from New York, got excited thinking this is going to change my life. 3 years later I’ve had no relationships, nothing. And I’m lonelier than ever. Some of us are just stuck

It isnt so much about thinking of positive things. Be grateful about what we do have that many do not.

Jay, have you ever tried turning attention to the self you're trying to improve?

The only good self help book i’ve red is about stoicism. What do you think?

what you need is a good mushroom trip, in a nice safe environment with some mellow background noise. That's It RESET

Jay, start reading the bible , it helps !

The way to fill the Hole that you mean in your Videos is Jesus my Friend, i would appreciate, if you can try it only one time too take that "meditation-time" and talk to jesus, that would make me happy, you dont have too talk about it, only do it for yourself, would really appreciate this, wish you only the best, for me this is the only way my life works :)