The Machine - Bert Kreischer: THE MACHINE

Florida man takes school trip to Russia and joins the Russian mafia and ends up becoming local legend, despite not knowing Russian.

“When I was 22 I got involved with the Russian mafia. Here’s how it happened....”- that, my friends, is how you start a story.

7 years and 50 million views later and it's now a movie! Congrats Bart krishneil

I took Russian in college for 4 semesters, I actually did learn a little bit. I had a classmate who went on a trip there, he said he got robbed by some little kids with a gun for cigarettes, and $5 and then afterwards they smoked the cigs they stole from him with him 😂 Then he and a friend got picked up by the police for pissing in the street, got put in the cop car and the cop was just like “meh each of you give me $20.” Then they drank vodka in the patrol car and the cop passed out. Sounds like an interesting place.

Speech: 1 Charisma: 100 Luck: 100

Name: The Machine Strength:4 Perception:5 Endurance:8 Charisma:5 Intelligence:1 Agility:2 Luck:9

This was posted 6 years ago, today me and a buddy are getting hammered and going to watch it as a movie in theatres. Congrats Bert!!

The fact that this story is being made into a feature film, is just amazing.

I wonder if any of the Russian mob is watching this like, “ ah yes, the machine, cool dude”

"Never learned a word" but you learned the ones that mattered.

I think the fact that this is getting turned into a movie/having a sequel made of it is fucking awesome... This is gonna be a lotta fun...

I have hated on Bert and refused to hear this story. But now I'm double screening with The Machine on it's Netflix debut and Holy Moly. 54 million views? Okay Bert. You get props for that.

I imagine Bert visiting Russia one day and getting to shake hands with Putin. Only to have Putin lean in and say "So I hear YOU'RE the Machine".

This is what happens when you make a 1 intelligence, 10 charisma character

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

7 years ago, one incredible story blew up the Internet. Now it's a movie

All made sense when he said "I went to school at Florida State"

Bert: Lv1 Crook *says "I am the Machine"* Bert: Lv40 Mob boss

"So close I could smell his morning cigarette"...This is a great storyteller. Can't wait for the movie.

This is the first story I ever heard from Bert Kreischer and afterwards I hunted down any special or clip of him I could. The situations he gets himself into are pure gold.