Perfectionism and ADHD | Thriving with Adult ADHD

I was 34 when I was diagnosed. I had moved from New Mexico to Texas. I got a job as a Med/Surg nurse and the hospital required a physical. I found a new PCP and then I was delighted to find out he sat on the board of the hospital where I would be working and he treated his own patients when they were hospitalized and he and I would be working together. Fast forward 3 and a half months and I was back in his office to have him look at a rash. He asked me why I didn't list my ADHD meds on my med list. I laughed and said "You've been working too many hours Doc, I don't have ADHD". He looked at me shocked, and said, "You absolutely have ADHD" He began asking me questions...How often do you lose things? How often are you late? Do you consider yourself forgetful?....he went through a few dozen questions, and then he started me on my journey of healing. All of the things I beat myself up for had a CAUSE. My "depression", which really felt like paralysis, was actually Executive Dysfunction. My procrastination, my disorganization, nights I couldn't get to sleep and mornings I couldn't wake up.... ADHD. Once I really poured myself into getting help, I found out that the tricks I had developed to study, the timers I set to get me on task....these weren't things other people had to do. The blessing in this was when I saw my own daughter silently suffering, I was able to recognize her struggle and get her help immediately. My dad was an amazing doctor. My mom was the best teacher. They never dreamed I had ADHD because I was a straight A student. I was the "good" kid who could entertain myself quietly for hours, and I was the opposite of hyperactive.....luckily, I loved to learn and I was hyperfocusing on the things that interested me. I also had a huge fear of failure and never wanted to disappoint my parents. Thank you for making this video.

It's like I'm realizing more of my self identification. I literally have a panic when I face this thought that its not going to be perfect 😕 so I literally don't do it. People have told me there is no way I'm a perfectionist because I have ADHD. Thank you for not making me feel like I just don't care but I know I care too much and avoid so I don't disappoint people.

Aa someone with ADHD, if you have ADHD and struggle it with starting (task initiation)... NEVER eat the frog (first) !!! Start with something easy and as you get into the flow start tackling your harder tasks. (but don't save them for the end obviously)

I’m yet to be diagnosed with ADHD but definitely have struggled with perfectionism and procrastination all my life… I often can’t get the assignments perfect so don’t hand them and drop out of the course…

This was useful. I would never have called myself a perfectionist but once again - because I didn't understand what it really meant. One thing I didn't agree with was the advice to 'eat the frog'. I just listened to another ADDITUDE webinar where the speaker categorically said that 'eat the frog' does not work for people with ADHD. It certainly doesn't for me. Trying to tackle the biggest job first is usually too big a hurdle to get over which means nothing gets done. Far better to break everything down, do small things, and tackle the bigger thing when I've built some momentum.

I got through 28 minutes before a TEMU ad with pictures popped up and I ended up looking at cool products for an hour. Thought it was 20 minutes, but nope. A full hour. 😅

I was diagnosed age 39. I was a junior doctor but had repeated episodes of depression and very severe imposter syndrome. I was constantly anxious and exhausted. No one spotted my adhd, this was a decade ago so it just wasn't on anyone's radar, especially in an adult woman. I internalised it as my own failures and weaknesses. I barely made it through medical school and felt like I wasn't good enough. Eventually I completely decompensated and left medicine after my partner died, and spiralled into drug addiction. I'm now in recovery from drugs and am on medication for ADHD. The diagnosis changed my life, and I am working to reframe my negative thiughts such as blaming myself for my "failures", and I realise that ADHD burnout due to my perfectionism and intense masking was the cause of my depression and burnout while working as doctor. I am nervous about getting my life back on track in a new career (I want to work in public health and health education) as my perfectionism is still an issue, and it has led to paralysis and stagnation for years now. I am so scared that I will fail, and I can't break down the steps I will need to take to achieve my dreams. After starting medication, it actually got worse as for thr first time in years, I felt like I could potentially achieve my goals. That was terrifying.. so I have been avoiding it. I do the same with social interactions, im terrified of being a bad friend like I was when I was undiagnosed (I know this is a harsh assessment but it's how I feel, I would constantly drop off the map, or overpromise the let people down.) I "solved" this by not even trying to have social interactions or friendships for many yeats. I am keen to change this as I am very lonely and really miss my friends, but my perfectionism and past "failures" have led to extreme avoidance and paralysis. I've never watched a video that spoke to me as much as this did! Thank you so much, I understand myself a bit better now, which is a big step towards self compassion and meaningful change.

Eating the frog first doesn't work for many with ADHD, because we just don't do anything. For many of us it's more effective to do the simple things or the things were more interested in so that we build momentum

“Just B you because No One else can” 💛 Dr Abraham Lowe “Lower Your standards, Your Performance Will Rise”

Did this woman have a crystal ball into my mind? I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 48 and have been exploring what that means but, wow, this video describes me eerily well.

I'm amazed by how many issues I've faced in my life can be explained by ADHD. I got an ADHD diagnosis last year, in my early 20s. Before that, as a teenager, I was diagnosed with general anxiety, depression and ocd, but none of the meds had worked for me.

I literally wrote an email today to one of my instructors explaining in past leadership positions I have been a perfectionist which caused me to be curt and inflexible. I didn't intend to find this video but it is so relevant right now to my current studies

I was doing house work and forgot what I was listening to and thought, "Man that sounds like me!". Then I realised it was. Adhd is like being another species

OMG 😳 wow I can relate to this. I have ADHD and dyslexia. Have. Masters and have this tendency and it has led to burnout. Procrastinating explanation is so true. Feeling inadequate in early learning days made me feel I was last in everything and I need to give it all just to pass as average.

I have all those flaws. Thank you so much, I can finally identify the root cause of many of my problems.

All this explains all my struggles through my life and I just turned 51💥

I found out about lifelong ADHD when I was 51 years old, and I am still learning about how to live purposefully with my condition 🥰

Right now, I’m trying to do two small projects that have to do with using my phone but instead I’m watching this video on ADHD lol and it’s 12:30 AM

Dude this is me. That maladaptive perfectionism is holding me back. I'm glad I can clearly hear and see it laid before me. Thank you 🙏🏿

This video brought me to tears. I relate to everything she said. It makes sense of my whole life.