FROM PUNITIVE TO POSITIVE + PEACEFUL | My Parenting Journey

You have no idea how relatable this is and how awesome the timing of this video is. Thank you and thank God!

I know you're feeling vulnerable about this vid. Just wanted to send you some love support and encouragement. You have been a source of joy and learning for me over the past few years. 💖

You spoke directly to my heart! My 6 year old son has control issues (because he’s type 1 diabetic and doesn’t feel control over his body) and has ADHD. His therapist has us on a positive parenting journey and I’m CRYING listening to your story because it’s mirroring mine. I pray I get to be as good of a parent as you describe.

Once I understood my kids were God's children first, it changed my parenting drastically, because I'm going to be held accountable for whatever I instill in them (good and bad). Thank you for being brave and sharing your story.

I admire you for telling this. I am Norwegian, and I was brought up the same way, my dad, spanked me when I did something wrong or hit me over my mouth if I said something wrong. It sounds bad, but he did these things because he was absolutely sure that it was the right way to raise kids. So, when I got my first kid, my husband and I thought we should do the same. Not hard,, but I can I remember I told him I would spank him if he didn't listen to me... Shortly after my 1. child I got a a girl, and even if we was careful I am a shamed to tell you that one day, when my youngest girl was only 2 years old, she did something wrong, and we spanked her butt, again not hard, but it's no excuse.. Cos we where so angry at her too .. It's awful to write this 😣I remember we walked out of her room... And both my husband and I started to cry.... We looked at eachother trough tears and said "No more..!" 2 years old! I' m still ashamed. We stopped that day, never ever did it again. Now they are all grown up.. We have talked about it with them. They can't remember anything like that luckily, and came out great, loving good young adults. I am so greatful we stopped when we did! When I think about that we at one point thought that spanking our precious kids was the right thing.. I can't belive we where so stupid. So girl, you are not alone, I really think I know how you feel. You are wise and brave to tell your story👍❤ Thank you!

crying with you through this whole video. I really appreciate you sharing the differences in yourself and not just your story. The tangible differences were super helpful for me to hear. Gosh, this was just so great ash.

You are a very, very brave Mama. Thank you for sharing your story!

It’s a learning process! You did your best and your transformation is beautiful

This is such a heavy topic. I am a christian mom of two girls, and I'll just say I agree with you so you know where I'm coming from. It is hard because I was spanked as a child, and I hold no resentment at all. My parents are my best friends. However, when I look back, it was VERY rare I was spanked. My husbands parents, sadly, thought that spanking was the solution to everything and in my opinion, manipulated their kids. My husband has a lot of respect for them, but does not have a relationship with them. His parents see this as a win, because their children "behaved". It has caused a struggle in our marriage because I don't believe that spanking them is the right answer to their bad behavior, but my husband doesn't really know any other way of addressing it. I thought it was incredibly enlightening when you said that we do not obey God out of fear. I have never been afraid of God causing me pain. I experience pain, sometimes I'm sure the Lord doesn't stop it because of the bad choices I have made, but fear is not why I listen and trust Him. I don't want to use fear on my kids either. I don't know with 100% certainty that spanking is always wrong (I don't see why God would have allowed it in the Bible if it always was) I DO 100% believe that it is one of the easiest ways to take out our frustrations on our kids. And that is unbiblical and will only cause breaks in our relationship. I always hear that spanking is never to be done of anger, but sadly I think it's rare to find people who actually don't do that. When I'm not angry I can always seem to think of a better way of handling it. Our home has been much more peaceful since we have stopped. I still need to help my husband learn what else to do though.

I'm a single mom of three kids I've adopted from foster care. They come from really hard backgrounds and lots of trauma. I grew up with consequences, punishment and anger. As much as I hate it, it's where I revert when I feel frustrated, overwhelmed or hurrying. I am working on this every day, too. It is SO good to know I'm not alone and, honestly, I loved that you didn't have a "moment" where everything changed. Because I am trying! And I want to change. And I pray and we've been to counseling. I also bought all of Karyn Purvis' videos and I still struggle. I feel hope hearing your story and knowing it IS possible to change. Thank you for sharing!

My first Son is 23 years old and gentle, positive parenting wasn't a thing, without the internet l had to go with my gut on my parenting. I never needed to smack, shame or ball at my kids. Just didn't, we would talk things through when they got a little older, when they were small we used distractions as our best go to to tool. I ran everything through my heart to filter it's effectiveness and appropriateness. The best place to start is respect. If you can respect your child as the little individual that they are you can't go to far wrong. Remember that their needs are as important as yours. Take your time and try and find a way to get a little of what you both want. Use your empathy and patience. You will be so heartened by how well they respond and how beautifully they grow! It is so much easier than it sounds and flows very naturally. A world away from the abusive and damaging childhood l suffered through!

I just found this video today. I'm a 30"s mama to three 8, 4 and 1.5. I've been praying for God to teach me how to no longer yell and be a punitive parent. Thank you for sharing these actionable steps. Thank you for courageously sharing your heart. Thank you!

I have been there so many times. SO MANY times. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey of where you've been- and where you're at now. It helps so much more than you could ever know. love you sister.

Hey Ashleigh! I just wanted you to know how brave you were for filming this, and how grateful us viewers are for being able to watch it. Your journey is inspiring - and your humility, love and kindness is so clear. You, Peter and your children are all such brilliant human beings. I am not a parent yet, however your story has really resonated with me and I thank you once again for sharing!

I wanted to thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Parenting is hard and we do make mistakes, sometimes big, sometimes small, but inevitably it is a learning experience. Growing and changing comes with age. How we raised our first child, will not be how we raised our last, for we are not the same people. I wanted to especially thank you for this video because I feel like no one talks about spanking anymore, society has now deemed it to be wrong, however for an entire generation(s) of us, it was our "normal" and it left scars. How our parents parented us, affects how we in turn parent our own children. I was raised in a highly abusive household; yelling, screaming, name calling, fighting, hitting were all common and even though my brain and heart knows it is wrong and I do not want to do the same to my children, it is a struggle because it is what I've known and comes instinctively (sadly). I am a yeller and must work hard on that. Luckily I've never raised a hand against my children, but yelling and having explosive outbursts, I feel, are no better for a child's well being and so that is my struggle. Thank you for sharing yours. <3

This came at the exact time I needed to hear it- Thank you so much!

Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. This is very relatable and so many parents out there need to hear this. I would like to remind you that having compassion for yourself is important too. Life is one big learning experience and I’m grateful to learn something from you today. Thank you.

Ashleigh, That mom that you once were spanked her kids and couldn't control herself was still a good mom because she loved her kids. And just like when your kids learn they do better once they know you did as well. And you loved them enough to change. You were a good mom then and you're a good mom now ❤️

Pitchin A Fit- Israel Wayne is an amazing read. Covers anger from a biblical standpoint and how to control it.

With tears flowing I want to say thank you I appreciate this video so much I could have made it myself. I too grew up with the church teaching me these things and I am constantly trying to repair damage I've done with my children. This helped me feel less alone. You are so wonderful your kids are so blessed and you are so brave!