Fable Review | Moral Relativism Edition™

This game was my childhood jam


Shoutout to anyone who dug up and resurrected Lady Grey's bones in Fable III to marry her again

I remember watching my older brothers play and when choosing haircuts we learned that I think it was bald that woman in the world found most attractive and laughing about it. Knowing that Peter Molyneux made this now, it all adds up.

"well done, lad. The beetles are all dead" gets me everytime

As a kid, I married my friend's character to an old man while he went to the toilet. He came back in while they were consummating their marriage. He angrily snatched the controller out of my hand, then decapitated his husband. We have never spoken about it to this very day.

In the evil ending of the game, it's cannon that the hero carves "Your health is low" on the guildmasters skull

Sacrifice to evil gods - 40 evil points.
Divorce - 600 evil points.
Yep - England during Henry VIII reign alright.

Peter Molyneux may be pure evil, but he DID drive his slaves to create a game where you can shoot lightning from your middle finger as you flip off your enemies.


THAT'S the ultimate moral conundrum.

"An experience all of us can relate to, having your parents killed and your village burnt to the ground" oh yeah... I forgot sseth grew up in eastern europe

"We were really edgy kids back then"
I'm playing Fable Anniversary because I never beat The Lost Chapters. I picked the name Reaper.
I'm 31

If i recall from way back when i played this, you could actually get a whole bunch of Rogue (yellow) XPs in the tutorial. When you're supposed to hit your tutor with a weapon, just stand far away and keep hitting him with a bow. Eventually he'll get tired of it, but you'll have gathered so much yellow XPs (which make you taller for some reason) that your character model becomes too tall for the orphanage cutscenes, making it look like you're some creepy adult stalking the kids there.

Good times.

"the only good romance option in the entire game"

You underestimate the student with a hot voice in the heroes guild

"As your fists might unintentionally kill your wife, use heal between beatings to keep her healthy and to get rid of any bruising that might be used as evidence against you in a court of law." - That is priceless. I could listen to you review a potato for an hour lol

Peter Molyneux understands marriage better than ANYONE I've ever met.

based on the intro part, how is the player character NOT going to be a psychopath?
-He watches his childhood home go up in flames
-He's whisked away mere moments after the death of his family to a life of constant struggle to perform as well as handling weapons and combat training, far from everyone he's ever known against his will
-He's never given a chance to grieve for the loss of his family
-He's always being berated by his roommate for being late and calls him 'farm boy'
-Senior guild members harass and insult him for being a peasant

Just saying, is it any surprise that this kid can grow up to be an emotionless killer? The guildmaster even points out temples dedicated to evil gods for you to develop your evil nature.

"Remember to kill Briar Rose in every playthrough"

The moment i saw how annoying she was i already knew she was evil to the bone.

"tfw foreskin caught in the zipper"
wait a second... I thought Seth was a member of the... merchant Guild?

My favorite scheme I ever did in this game was buying alcohol, using the give command to give it to a shop owner who would then immediately drink it, do this enough and they'd become drunk, then through the use of carefully running into them you could push them out of the shop and they'd stumble around town drunk while I stole all their shops items.

I never pegged Lady Grey as racist, just entirely disloyal and lusting only after the most power. She seemed to have a relationship with Thunder, but the instant a more powerful person came around, she dumped him for you. Not out of skin color, but just because you're more powerful- she gets off on it. That was my interpretation as a kid, at least. She's a sociopath with a power fetish, and nothing else matters.

The Lady Grey romance was so good, I remarried her resurrected corpse 500 years later in Fable 2

Yes, I remember how being evil in this game paid ludicrously well. I'd lead dozens of people into monster infested regions, wait for nature to take its course, and then buy their property. Your morality never goes down. Alternatively, lead about a dozen people to the temple of Skorm while you've got good morality, sacrifice them all and gain a huge negative karma rating and the best bow in the game that can only be obtained here.