Ray O. - Distorted Perception - AA Speaker

Ray Sponsored me for 11 years in Miami. Met Ray In 1995 I have been sober since 25 five years later I still have all of our step work we did together. I thank god from the bottom of my heart that he was there for me and help me creat the fellowship of the spirit.

I was born on his 14th sober birthday. I love knowing he was celebrating that day.

To anyone reading this, I wish you grace and strength in your journey. Thank you for sharing, Ray O., you remind me of Rodney Dangerfield.

I cannot explain how grateful I am for having AA in my life. "We don't feel well from the moment we are born". In my own words, I did not feel well from the moment I was born until I picked up my first drink. Then, short-lived, I felt well. Only after some years did alcohol "betray me:. I lost everything worthwhile in life. Which in my case, specifically, was LIFE WORTH LIVING AND MY FREEDOM OF CHOICE. I felt so sad, so impotent, so trapped, I did not have hope it would get better. All the visible doors had been shut. I considered if maybe I could be better off dead but I think that the notion that my family would have to suffer seemed unfair, not considering that my family was currently suffering as well. I was finished. I lived only to drink. My life had been reduced to how can I have the next drink. Also, I can relate so much to the matter of distorted perception. I tried to act in a way so people would like me. This meant pretending to be someone I was not and I would actually, partially, believe the act I was carrying out. Trying to evidence "wealth", "prestige", "power"... in my mind, maybe, just maybe, if I was wealthy enough, powerful enough, smart enough, attractive enough, then maybe, I would be accepted. Maybe that would make me feel well. Maybe, just maybe, if I have all these things, maybe I would like myself. And that feels like absolute shit. I had a God-sized hole. So, with all this distorted reality, not understanding anything but acting like I knew everything that was going on, my alcoholism was at its highest point. I drank only for oblivion. To feel nothing was my only goal. But not even that, towards my final months, was enough. I could not get rid of the emptiness. So, as Ray said, my day came and I took it. God gave me my day. Something clicked. All these strangers knew how I have been feeling all along. I was 21 years old. Here was the 60-year-old lady telling MY story including feelings, just with different settings and circumstances. Here was the 42-year-old guy from some part of the world saying MY story too. And all was true for almost every share I heard. The best suggestion I have heard in my time in AA was this: "Shut up and follow instructions". This is a nice suggestion. In reality, a fellow told me, after I still maintained the attitude that I knew everything and I was unteachable: "Who the fuck do you think you are. Look at where you are. Your life is shit. Put your feet on the ground and look at the reality. Shut up and follow instructions." And there I went. I have followed instructions until today. Tomorrow let's see. I have a sponsor, I go to meetings, I worked my steps and I know I can practice the steps more every day. I do service. I chair meetings and I have found a higher power of my own understanding that LOVES ME and I love him. I do not belong to any religion. It's just a God of my own understanding. It took me a while but I just kept going to meetings and eventually, slowly but surely, I got it, and what I "got" was just only the beginning of a journey with my higher power which continues to grow,. My life is beautiful. I truly love my life BECAUSE AA GAVE IT TO ME. Honestly, I can't believe I am sober. It got really rough at one point. So, if you got to this point of my very long text, I wish you all the love, miracles, acceptance, understanding, fellowship, care, guidance, support, laughs that AA and my fellows have given me and I hope, truly, that God allows me to do the same for another alcoholic. This is a deadly disease. There is a solution and there is a substitute to alcohol which is vastly greater. I thank God for my sobriety. THREE PERTINENT IDEAS: a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our lives b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism and c) that God could and would IF (IF) he were sought. God bless you!!!!!!

Thank you God for AA

I sat next to Raymond O, at meetings for twenty years or so. Great Man. Helped me all the time.

You are a Breath of fresh air..Thank you for this Powerful message and being a Vessel of God..Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny.......

Amazing share, he nails it at about 34 minutes in felt it to my core. Don’t do yourself a disservice by missing the whole talk from beginning.

this guy is great, he sticks to his own story; he doesn't branch out like so many of the speakers on odumatology and AA speakers into the party line where they're telling everybody else how to stay sober and how many people they sponsor and how sponsorship is done and very regimented and brigade system like this guy just tells his story I like that that's really experienced strength and Hope you get off the circuit and you learn how real people stay sober not the AA celebrities

What a story. What a program. This is recovery.

"And to this moment my love, my admiration, and my affection for the very, very dry martini is surely the greatest case of unrequited love the world has ever seen."

It may seem excessive that a person goes to 8 meetings a week. But since AA is a big family it makes sense that you have a listen and a smile with your family at least a few minutes per person every day. That would help strengthen the family.bond

I love Ray O'Keefe his tapes helped me from the first ti.e i heard him in 1986

Sounds exactly like my friend from New York who is in my home group. Definitely saving this one to my playlist

Grateful that i knew Ray in the late 1990s, in Kure Beach, NC; went to many meetings with him & Keith L. & Mike W. So blessed am i....

Hooked until the end

One of best speakers I have ever heard......💯🤓

Great speaker, me and a friend listened to this man speak and so much related to parts of the story. Meetings are closed due to the virus and this was are meeting tonight .

My favorite speaker always brings this gentleman up in his talks. Now I can see why! Thanks for posting!

Best talk I’ve heard in a long time. So great