CU#117. Future Planning.

I0 - 11 hrs of sleep is a sign that your body needs that rest to recover from the surgery and fight the cancer. Not a sign your body is shutting down. The tears you want not to cry tell me that something in you longs strongly for healing and living. Sending lots of love from Switzerland!

Don't give up Paul. You've been through so much, and you've been an inspiration for many. Whatever decision you choose, I hope you find peace.

Hello Paul. I am in Sydney but a relo in Qld who had bowel cancer chose VAD. On the Saturday she was happy and well enough to go shopping with her daughter, on Sunday she fell gravely ill, and on the Monday she died naturally at home. There was no time for the VAD as her decline was swift, but her knowledge that she could use VAD when she decided she had had enough made her journey easier for her. You have nothing to lose by keeping your options open. The surgery, on the other hand, is a little more complicated. It doesn't sound as though it would be nearly as invasive as your previous surgery, but we are not living your reality. Only you can make the right choice for you.

Hey Paul. We are right behind you and will be your care team whatever decision you make. I feel like I have to say though that I for one, and undoubtedly countless others feel the same, would love to support you through further treatment. The longer the world has you in it, with sufficient QOL of course, the better for all of us.

I don't have anything say other than I feel your struggle. These conversations are impossibly difficult.

I recently spent 5+ weeks in hospital for surgery related to cancer. On discharge, the doctor told me to expect some PTSD. I thought she was joking…but it’s real!

P.S. Paul, never live like you're already gone while you are still here.....always choose life. Don't give up because you're body is tired. You need a little more rest. Listen to that little whisper from your body. I am half Sims from my Mom and Lowers from my Dad. I have considered assisted death. But I'm a fighter so we never know until then. But I'm filling my mind with life. Please do the same. Alot of research isn't always good for us. Love you!

So I had a heart attack on Friday, December 8, 2023 and required a quadruple bypass. The surgery was scheduled for the following Monday morning and I was kept stable until then in the Cardiothoracic ICU area. During the course of my stay over that weekend one of the nurses asked how I was doing and told me not to be scared as my surgeon is one of the best in the state and has been doing this for longer than she has been alive. I told her I was not scared and sort of blurted out without care that I had a couple of out-of-body experiences many years ago and no longer feared death. She replied that was amazing and I told her some details about it, and then she said during the prior week another patient was awakened after his surgery and was excited as he was out of his body during his surgery and watching it from near the ceiling. He went into great detail about who was in the room, etc. when he should not have known anything as he was under anesthesia. I asked her if that happens a lot and she replied that it's rare but not uncommon. Needless to say, I survived my operation and was hoping for another experience like that, but it did not happen this time. I know this story may be hard to believe, but it's the truth and I hope it gives you some measure of comfort.

Paul I am more than happy to pay for your flight to and from Sydney if you need it. You need to get this Pet scan way earlier. You should be able to call around and get one next week without issue. Although VAD sounds like a viable option remember you will leave a lot of sad people behind like Caroline and all of us and I believe you have a positive effect on too many lives to leave this early. I believe you still have it in you to give it once last try. I had nh lymphoma Stage 4 cancer as I have said on many of your videos when I was 17, now 29. Please don't give up.

Hello from Pennsylvania USA. I have been watching you for about a year. I just want to say you are cared about and loved. I have had 10 back surgeries and have a lot of pain daily. There are days it’s unbearable. I can relate to what you say but please remember this. ALL of us and I am sure some here have been in great health and passed away unexpectedly from a medical emergency or accident etc. NONE OF US are promised tomorrow. PLEASE brother do not give up. Keep pushing and fighting. You are truly loved. I promise. I have read most of your followers comments and I see it and Im sure you do too. I know it’s difficult I get that but just because you may have more cancer later doesn’t mean you still cant have years of life ahead. We may have never met in person but just know one thing PLEASE, You! Are LOVED!!!! Keep your head up my friend and if we can do anything just ask!

Greetings Paul from an American residing in Canada! My dear friend chose to end her suffering with MAID in 2022. She had been diagnosed with her stage 4 cancer in early 2018 and was given 6 months to a year. I believe her original diagnosis was osteosarcoma in her spine. She decided to discontinue her treatment in 2021 because she felt though it was extending her time, the quality was decreasing. Fast forward to early 2022, she began declining and was in constant pain to the point of being bedridden. She decided to proceed with MAID in June 2022. I spoke with her the night before and she was both at peace with her decision but also felt guilty. She thought she was failing her family and friends for not continuing to fight. I think she was so incredibly brave and strong for making that decision. She was surrounded and loved by her daughters as she went. I believe her choosing MAID was her taking back the control that the cancer had over her. I miss her dearly though I hope she is now at peace as I know she was struggling so much to be alive. I think you are very brave and deserve the right to die with dignity. Please take care Paul ❤

Don’t lose your heart, Paul! We’re all thinking about you! ❤

I immediately thought your long sleeps sounded very positive! Sleeping long and well is associated with longevity and recovery. Your body is busy at a cellular level while you sleep. I would sleep as long as you comfortably can and really, it’s your body living, not dying.😀

I am 43 year medical professional now retired & doing caregiving... My opinion for what ever worth is the 2 small tumors would be in NO WAY the ordeal of your last HUGE surgery... Being they know exactly where they are there could even be done via laparoscopic & a MUCH Smaller ordeal.. Please Paul Don't cash in your chips until you've got no cards in your deck to play with... I will keep your Beautiful Heart & Soul in My PRAYERS for CLEAR decisions, Peace &Comfort in making the correct decision... You are LOVED by many & we all respect what You exactly feel your choice will be... Hugs & Blessings Dear Friends.🙏❤️💙🤗✝️ Get well soon Ricky & Semi 🙏💖💙🤗✝️

Paul i have had the operation 3 times over the last 13 years i am now 71 years old my score was 36 when i was diagnosed and had to fight hard to get the surgery i needed you still have a long way to go with your recovery. All i will say you have more to live for than to die for just think of all the people round you who love you and need you. If i needed surgery again i would have it in a hart beat i have all the complications you have and it is hard at times but you will learn to live with them. Just think long and hard before you make your decision. Terry from England

Paul you have had a major major surgery. Most major surgery takes at least a year or so to really heal. Yes your body is needing those long rests. And only you can know what you want in a quality of life and the upcoming appts will help you make those decisions. I 🙏for you in making decisions about all of this. ❤

Paul it sounds like your body is just still in healing mode which is why you are sleeping more than normal and you have been more active lately than the last couple of months or longer. I think you really have to make the decision if you want to live longer or you are ready to go. I know if you have the surgery there are no guarantees but if you don't and there are more tumors you know that if you do nothing they will eventually kill you. I feel like as emotional as you get from the first time you learned you have cancer makes me feel like you really want to live. You might just have to give up some quality of life for a few years to have a longer life overall. I follow a girl, Heather ( Kneady Homesteader) who was in a terrible wreck 3+ years ago that killed her husband and did some terrible damage to her body. As of yesterday she finally got teeth implanted and is almost back to normal and has remarried. Life may still hold a lot of promise for you if you have the will to fight. I pray for you often and hope that you find the peace you are looking for and of course we will all follow you no matter what road you take. Prayers, hugs and love from the US.

Paul, i do have PTSD. I have dealt with my pancreas and bowels for decades. Last surgery, 2 years ago, my appendix was turning to gel beginnings of cancer. I hemorrhaged from that surgery. I've had sooo many. I'm here for you cheering you on. Love and hugs from the USA❤

I think we would all love for you to be here longer and will be supporting you the best we can.

Good morning Paul from NJ, USA! LOVE your t-shirt! I remember how very difficult it was for you to go through that big surgery last fall. It was heartbreaking to see the videos. You know your body and I think you'll know what the right decision is about the surgery. Love seeing your videos with that beautiful smile of yours. Continue to enjoy each day! Hello to sweet Caroline 😊 You are a special person and will be a special, bright star one day! Many hugs and much love to you. ❤❤❤❤❤