How to Recognize and Cure Perfectionism

i don’t think it has to be perfect at least not in my conscious mind it’s just the failure and mistakes part

I would say I'm an adaptive perfectionist. Struggled with it my whole life, it's probably the core reason for my alcoholism. I'm coming up to 15 months sobriety and targeting this defect of character. People pleasing, self critiquing, lack of humility, good job performance but hating my job because I am not good at it straight away. Fear, anger and anxiety from being too slow or things not going my way. To an outside person I'm brilliant at my job but to me, I was crap today because the smallest thing went wrong. Argh 🤔

When i was a kid i would try so hard to juggle football ball 10 to 20 times that i would spend hours and hours untill i COULD finally say i did it. Everyone thought i was so in love with football/soccer that they were sure id be a footballer. The truth was i was so obsessed with doing it perfectly (even the feeling had to be perfect not just 10/10 juggles) that it would simple take me hours to please myself..or that voice that was pushing me. Even if id make it "i" (im putting " " because when i was younger it was so clear that it wasnt my will somehow) would immediately set a new goal that was even higher until i just wouldn't given up out of frustration or simple because i was exhausted.

I often have my clients (business owners - who tend to be the BEST at perfectionism LOL) tell me who they are comparing themselves too, and then make them do research on that person - scroll back to their first posts, find podcasts of them talking about their first years, dig into their earlier works. It's always a huge mindset shift to actually SEE that others weren't always "perfect" - that they evolved and improved over time. It's really about shifting from a "fixed mindset" to a "growth mindset" (that book, "Mindset" by Carol Dweck is highly recommend too).

beautiful video, we can and must better understand how we react to deliver any work, we have to keep in mind to be perfect, and the most important is to deliver something within, and explain that we can improve because there will often be more time to improve everything in life is training, just like.

Thank you for this video. It’s great!

It's a curse!! Great video 👍👍👍

I got adaptive perfectionism, but I need to get rid of this unrealistic expectations.

Thanks.

im trying to watch this video but everytime you say letters like 's', there will be some whistle sound? idk but its annoying me, makes me feel angry, and im trying hard to finish the video.. last option, i just muted it and read the subtitles 😭 i do feel annoyed by a lot of sounds...

A very useful video. Thanks.

I got maladactuce one sled diagnosed cus my therapist never last tgat long

Very helpful! After watching I realized where the problem might come from. When I was little my dad I always said something along the lines ,,do something properly or dont do it’’. This mindset makes you feel uncapable of doing things and set high excpectation, which you most defenetly wont satisfy. I want to start journaling so imma leave this comment here for later ;)

I feel like I'm a perfectionist at healing? Idk, I've been doing therapy and learning about healing for years now, I've done alot but I always feel like I need to do better, and I do wonder if it will ever end. I know I only want to heal to be better, to do better, but I feel like I won't stop until I've reached some imaginary point that may never come. I want to be a 'perfect' person. And I thought my perfectionism was doing we good until I realized I'm slipping into old habits again. I think I need a new framework for how I look at myself before healing can become what it probably should be. RightNow I'm healing out of shame, I'm ashamed of myself for having the struggles I have daily, and idk how to keep healing and stop being a perfectionist at the same time. I still want to be better, but I want to love myself there, now be so ashamed I have to run away from my problems.

I think I am both. I am adaptive until I make a mistake and then I become maladaptive

How to convert maladaptive to adaptive

It has affected my health

Ya

is it a sign if lets say this other person is better at me in football. I can be better than him in many things but i will still feel like he is a better human than i am. Just because of the football. I could even be better at school and have more money or be more attractive. I would still feel like being worse than him

i once checked my project 21 times