The Worst Tank You Never Heard Of
405,017
Published 2020-08-09
However, we have here a tank which was produced in the triple digits, and in which nothing works right. The tracks, the wheels, the guns, the armor, the steering, the brakes, the engines, the vision, the radio... no, wait, there is no radio... the controls, the headlights.... basically nothing meets requirements.
And yet, it seems almost unknown. Probably because it was so bad that nobody seemed particularly desperate enough to use it.
Edit: I mistakenly say "Crusader" at the end vice "Covenantor"
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All Comments (21)
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"It was also not possible to order a new faceplate without ordering an entirely new bogie assembly."
Apple: "Write that down!" -
"Oh thank god the tank is on fire"
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"... and we will conclude our report with a note to the builder: when we said that the best way to kill a tank is using a tank, we didn't mean using and killing the same tank. It was intended to be different tanks. Please review Your design to accommodate this distinction."
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This tank has a superior level of protection - of the headlights.
Company brochure: Our tank has a superior level of protection, according to U.S. Army testing. -
Quick, someone export these to Elbonia.
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"The gun needs a special Kit of tools" yeah that Kit Is called a Trashcan
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How is this thing six tons heavier, more poorly protected, and more cramped than M3 stuart?! Not to mention a main gun that only operated correctly ONCE. Tanks, but no tanks
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Fun Fact: The report has a hand-written annotation that reads as follows: "Get Rid of this Tank! It's an Endless Money-Pit! BUY JAPANESE! -- Kilmer"
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I love that the Maus is the smallest AFV on the desk!
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Some of these tanks were deployed to Aleutian Islands in Alaska to contend with Japanese forces. They were awful, but the only armor spared to fight in the Alaskan Campaign. One of them sank in a swamp on one of the islands, lost. I wonder...is it still there, intact, awaiting a determined person to come dig it out?
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This is literally like someone slapped a tank together, skipping the design and prototype phases altogether. You have to be talented to fail as hard and as completely as these schmucks.
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As a Dutchman, I'm really disheartened... Because this is the only """modern""" WW2 tank we had at the time...
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Sounds like WoT just found their new tier 3 premium.
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DESIGNER 1: So we basically have a tank with obsolete armor, a useless headlight, an engine impossible to access and repair, with a cramped interior, the steering levers are pain-inducing, the tracks fall off, it's vulnerable to a cold environment and we might need superstrong glue to keep it intact, what shall we do sir?
DESIGNER 2: Build another one with more guns! -
My God listening to its mechanical problems makes the late war German heavies look like Sherman's in terms of reliability
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The tank may be terrible at being a tank, but at least it's kinda cute.
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I feel like even if the Dutch didn't get to pay for these, they should still get a refund.
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Mrs. Chieftain: "I've been invited to a virtual gender reveal party. Do you want to join in?"
Chieftain(thinking fast): "Sorry, I have to make a video about a very important tank project that I promised my viewers. I would have loved to come, but bills must be paid." -
This "offering" of a tank by Marmon-Herrington is amusing, because they did make some rather good armored cars, and were known for offering some of the first really practical 4WD conversions of civil and commercial vehicles.
Including the M22, M-H seemingly never really got ("grokked", to borrow from R.A.H.,) the concept of the light tank, regardless of their other really superb products. -
Marmon Herrington's boss: I need you to design a tank by the end of the week.
The engineer: But... it's 14h00 on a friday afternoon... are you sure...
Marmon Herrington's boss: DO IT!
