10 Things NOT to Say to Autistic People | AUTISM IN GIRLS

I'm just finding out I'm autistic at 57 years old. That means everyone who has known me all these years think my condition isn't real because they know "the real me." They can't seem to accept that I've gotten so good at masking that even I am still trying to figure out who I really am, so there's no way they can know.

i agree, i absolutely hate when people say; "oh everybody is a little autistic" LIKE NOOOOOOO. i love how i can relate to these things it makes me smile.

When I discovered I was autistic, my whole world opened up and I knew why I reacted differently than others. Also, I love being with groups of other autistic people. Comic-Con attracts a large group of us.

As an ADHD:er, I also get the "everyone is a little ADHD" like NOOOOOOOO

I have an upcoming evaluation and so far I've gotten "I'm sorry" and "You don't have that." My psychiatrist even asked, "At your age, what good would a diagnosis do?" Super discouraging and invalidating as well as unprofessional imo. Currently, I'm professionally diagnosed with ADHD and a few other things that may mimic autism but I'd like to know if it's actually autism. Even if it turns out I don't have it, I'm still glad I found channels like yours and accepting communities of autistics.

“Oh, you’re just really too hard on yourself” When trying to explain my struggles. 😩

I was diagnosed as autistic about a year ago. I was 60 years old. I declared it to my employer and was fired. I worked for the NHS and feel directionless and incredibly let down. Not too sure what the future holds, or even if I have a future. Sorry to unload. Having a tough time. Thank you for your vids. They’re great.

"You're not autistic, you're NORMAL!" is one I've got a lot of times. Very annoying and the equivalent of being given an Oscar at the same time. My CATQ score was 151. I have to be alone a lot because keeping up the act is exhausting.

Wonderful video! I've never been officially diagnosed, but I had a counselor who specialized in working with autistic adults who gave me the "unofficial" test, the one that's available online, and I scored very high on it. Realizing I was autistic took a load off my shoulders. Before that, I thought everything I did that was different than other people was some kind of moral failing: I was being too lazy, too sensitive, too demanding, too self-indulgent. I've spent most of my life in a state of stress so severe that it damaged my health. My frequent meltdowns have ruined many jobs and relationships, most regrettably, my relationship with my son. I'm only now, at age 56, learning to live with these traits instead of trying to stuff them down. I agree with everything you said. I'm not sorry I'm autistic, just sorry I live in a world that doesn't understand us and judges us so harshly.

Before I knew everything about autism I definitely thought autism has a look and for a lot it does. I picture someone swaying back and forth and flapping their arms in the air. That is actually part of the stigma behind it, which sucks. I just realized at 36 I have autism, I'm on the tip of the spectrum. My doctor actually told me that she can normally tell if someone has autism do to characteristics like not looking someone in the eyes, not picking up social cues etc. But the thing is, is I do have issues looking people in the eyes but I was trained to look people in the eyes when you talk to them, my parents made me-I'm glad they did. So now it comes 2nd nature with people I like, if it's someone I'm just meeting or I can feel they don't like me that's when it is hard for me. In those instances it feels like I'm naked when I look them in the eyes and can see their soul- is weird.

I love this! If I knew I was autistic 20+ yrs ago, my life would have been so different. I was looking through old journals from 15 yrs ago. I was extremely naïve and put myself in dangerous situations one after the other. It was like I was reading another person's life. I'm so glad this information about aspie girls is now available. It could save lives.

I was also diagnosed at 24 (last year) and struggle telling people because of their responses - I mask very very well. The day i was diagnosed was the best day of my life. I left the doctors office and sat in my car and just cried. Swear the world felt lighter and brighter some how.

Thank you, Miss Hops for educating me on autism. As a teen who is not currently diagnosed, but there is a chance of being autistic, these videos are so helpful in assisting me so that I can learn more about ASD. I am a lot like you. I have a lot of the issues that come with autism, but I can function socially just fine, so these videos are so relatable, whether or not I have autism.

Girl, thank you for being the liquid glue that put the pieces of my puzzled life together.

I love how you made me laugh with your voice over affects and funny facial expressions when mimicking people. 😄

Thanks so much for this list, Olivia! I have mild Asperger's Syndrome, I was diagnosed at seven years old, and I get the "But you don't LOOK like you're on the spectrum", as if you're automatically SUPPOSED to have a distinct look.

“You couldn’t possibly be autistic—if you were, you would be in a completely different world off in your head and you wouldn’t recognize anything around you.” -my doctor when I went to see him about getting evaluated for autism. He didn’t even ask any questions about it, just immediately shut it down. Apparently he thinks it’s like... extreme schizophrenia? He also said I couldn’t have ADHD because “I’m smart.” Now a year later, I’ve since been diagnosed with both. Oh yeah, he also thought all my ADHD traits would go away if i socialized because it would boost my confidence and make me feel better about myself? And if I got out of my comfort zone and tried socializing, I would find out I actually LOVE it and have a great time. :|

Thank you so much for this video! I'm not autistic (AFAIK), but my nonverbal daughter is, so I get this, so much, from years of helping her interact with the world. #5 - This, SO MUCH THIS. No, EVERYONE IS NOT A LITTLE AUTISTIC. Going hand in hand with this are the people who immediately start self-diagnosing in front of you. I get it, they're going for some commonality with my child (which is kinder than accusing them of attention-seeking), but it makes as much sense as saying you're a little bit pregnant. Also, WTF do I look like, a behavioral psychologist? I'm not, thanks, and if I were thinking of it, I wouldn't be interested in starting my career with them, thanks. #7 - YES. If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. Period. I honestly cringe every time I see some new show or movie out with autistic characters, because that's another thing I hear, too. "Your daughter's nothing like from ." Well, gee, your kid is nothing like from either. What a coincidence! #8 - The single one on this list that's guaranteed to make me blow up and forget all my manners. NOBODY wants to make that statement to me. EVER. And right there with it are outright accusations that I've caused my child's autism by the decision to get her vaccinations, after which I will show no mercy whatsoever. I take no prisoners when someone starts spouting that ignorant rot. #10 - We get that a lot with our daughter, who, while nonverbal, is indeed very pretty, friendly and intelligent. It tends to be coupled with the "But she doesn't look autistic!". The problem is that thanks to some very outspoken, ignorant people with agendas of their own that have NOTHING to do with child welfare, when you say a child's autistic, people immediately envision some kind of monster. I'm going to add a #11 that I never, ever want to hear again: "She's autistic? And she can't speak? Well, I'll pray for you so God will cure her." First, if you're religious, then you should believe that everything was created according to God's plan. That means (logically speaking), my daughter was created exactly the way she was intended to be . She's not a mistake. She is operating exactly as intended. I don't know if she would choose to be different; I only know that I would never want her to be anything other than the person she is, and her autism is part of her. She is a gift. Second, I'm not sure which is greater, the utter ignorance of that statement, or the utter arrogance of that statement. Look, if someone's going to pray for something for my daughter, pray for her happiness. Pray for her continued health. Definitely pray that she will stop running into ignorant idiots for the rest of her life, but I think that would fall under the category of 'miracle'. But don't, do NOT pray for God to 'cure' my child. The person who offers to do so should offer up a prayer instead for an end to their own ignorance and self-righteous arrogance.

"The most important thing to remember is that many autistic people see their autism as a fundamental part of who they are, so it’s important to use positive language. And, if you are referring to a particular person or group, ask them how they would prefer to be described." (The National Autistic Society)

Therapist I saw for 5 sessions: "Why do you have to use diagnostic labels? They are used by therapists and doctors to diagnose for insurance and treatment. That's it!" Me: "Name it to tame it. That's why I use them." Therapist: "You're not autistic. You have good social skills! And that's what autism is all about. Let's just let that go!" Me: "Autism is an internal experience. You can't see it." Me to the receptionist: "Please cancel all of my future appointments. I won't be returning. And I don't need any further contact or discussion regarding this decision." Mic drop.