Autism & Friendships #autism

I completely relate to this. The sad thing is that I now don't build friendships as I fear I cannot sustain them.

this is with family too not just friendships. and sometimes family is not understanding about any of it, which makes it even harder.. add on layer of fun had to be earned and it's a super toxic mess 💚💜💚 keep loving yourself and healing 💚💜💚 thank you for your light ella💜💚💜

This is why I think it’s important that autistic people meet other autistic people irl to be friends with 🤍 me and my best friend of over a decade (and one of two friendships I’ve managed to keep) both turned out that we were autistic. It’s honestly challenging being friends with neurotypicals who just don’t get how we are…😅

Relatable for sure. I think groups with a common interest who meet regularly are a good way to sustain connections. Because you know they’re going to be getting together continuously but you can choose on the day whether you feel like going or not.

So relatable, it's like I feel I constantly have to apologise for anything and everything about my traits, but that's who I am and need to be accepted warts and all. When a friend has treated me badly, I get very down, and prefer to finish the friendship than feel that I'm not good enough. It's a hard one, for sure.

I have been lamenting about this exact issue lately!!

100% Relate… though I don’t mind spontaneous meetups on occasion.

💯I hate surprises 💯

Yeah I relate to that. Also this last year with diagnosis and unmasking, I'm less likely to make effort to talk to people at school drop off or in street, if I'm overstimulated or trying to focus on getting to work. In the past one of my neighbours and I would walk back from school drop off together and I'd get so overstimulated from our conversations that I'd need a break before work sometimes and be behind with my day. Luckily I'm self employed but also that can be hard when routine changes and need to adapt to that. So I just started being quiet and not waiting at street corner for her to catch me up for example. And she thought she'd done something wrong even when I said I was processing a lot of trauma and tired in the mornings. I feel freer now I'm unmasking but it amplifies my social skills and how I do friendships naturally. So going forwards I'm going to try to just be honest about my limitations from day one with new friends.

Big relate. Have never been able to do spontaneous except for very well established friends. Even then, it doesn't work most of the time due to my planning and regulation needs. ❤ Keep telling myself quality over quantity. And it def sorts through the folks who have very different needs or are not accepting of me and mine. So I suppose that's a positive? IDK it's an interesting puzzle.

I find myself relating to these traits and behaviours the more my community shares their experiences. So so important to share. Thank you💕

Yep, I can't be friends with anyone that doesn't get this. I'm so glad to have autistic friends and an autistic spouse who gets me. They get it because they struggle with it, too.

Yup. My issue is more that I end up being so misunderstood when I try to interact that I end up not interacting and just kind of … lurking. Which just feels icky, so I withdraw even more

Omg thank you so much for making these shorts and videos. It helps me so much to not feel alone. I feel exactly the same about friendships. I only have 1 friend who I keep in touch with mainly with phone calls every few weeks even though she lives nearby. The whole thing is so difficult to sustain and I get crippling guilt and shame so I just end up avoiding it altogether. I spend most of my time in online games and with my husband and cat.

I think that many many autistic people feel the same way...so you are in elite company...hugs

Yep!!! I often end up meeting up with friends even if I’m not in the right headspace for it bc I feel like I can’t let them down even though it’s detrimental to myself

I relate to this so much! This has been my experience for as long as I can remember.

YES. YES. & YES!!

Ngl I couldnt stop looking at your pandora bracelet its gorgeous!!

Yes! I regularly cancel or reschedule on friends and family and I take a while to text back. Luckily I’ve found people who are either understanding or just as forgetful as me so it has worked out but knowing others experience this too definitely helps with the guilt I feel about it