Men Are Not Doing Ok

Life is complex and can be full of extreme pressures and stresses that can feel unbearable at times. No one can tackle life alone and if it ever feels like it's getting a little too much, there are people trained to help you unravel the emotional and mental jungles of your mind that we can sometimes find ourselves getting lost in. Whether through professionals such as therapists, counselors, or psychiatrists, there are people who dedicate their lives to the cause, and they all can help bring ease or clarity to an otherwise seemingly unbearable state of mind. Don't go at life alone, none of us can. Seek some help if you feel you're ever losing grip. You're worth it.

I’m really worried about my cousin. He’s going on 22 and he isolates himself in his room day after day. No social life, no friends, nothing but his phone. It’s heartbreaking and we don’t know what to do. Our men are in desperate need of help and understanding.

In my youth,, I use to be somewhat judgemental of people who commit S. Now as a person who has experienced life's highs and lows, I now understand why some people chose to exit. I don't blame them at all. As the only species who have to pay to breath and eat, I compare human life as that of a shark, if you stop swimming you'll sink and die. That burden is a lot if you don't have grit, you may end up on antidepressants, drugs alcohol to cope.

Life can certainly be a struggle. At times, it can feel like a pointless battle. Today, men also struggle with masculinity issues. Too much is toxic and too little requires you to "man up". The defining moment in my life happened 20 years ago when I lost everything that I perceived as valuable to me. Bankruptcy, foreclosure, and divorce left me broke and homeless. I really thought I was finished. I sat in my car one very cold night in a motel parking lot considering the few options I had left. I don't know how I remembered it but, a line from a recent movie came to me. "I know what I have to do now. I have to keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring". That line was from Castaway and it helped me escape from my deserted island.

It really is a challenge. I think the economic structure of developed countries leads to this. We’ve become hyper-competitive societies, prices on everything have shot up, and the pandemic has especially made these issues worse. This means many are spending more hours working competitive jobs or struggling to find new jobs just to get by. The pandemic has only exacerbated what was already a serious mental health crisis and also an issue regarding income inequality. It is kind of a depressing realization for some to recognize the lives that we are going to live are probably not going to be like the lives our parents had, whether those ambitions be regarding having stable employment and developing long-term relationships with coworkers, growing a large family, or owning a home. I think we also focus a lot on therapy and other trained professionals sometimes as a substitute for having difficult and meaningful conversations with people, not that we shouldn’t encourage people to seek help, but we also shouldn’t dismiss our own capabilities, so to speak. Sometimes I think what people really need is more meaningful relationships, and that’s something that has become increasingly difficult under the pressures of the current cultural climate. As much as I have a distaste for organized religion, I can understand why some find comfort in those systems. Anyways, thank you for sharing and making us think, as usual!

Lately I’ve been watching videos on “the American dream is not real” the need to grind and hustle is embedded in the American Dream.

Sorry about your friend man...I've been the position that he was in. Apart from the support from my mom, I had to go through that struggle alone. I lost about a decade of my life to severe depression so I know how severe it can get. Particularly for boys/men, who have to always be strong and fight their own battles. But as man I'd tell anyone going through this that it's okay to ask for help. Try to establish a good support system. Once again sorry for your loss brother.

I'm an African American male....I've been in a constant state of struggle since the age of 9. Not only are we expected to deal with normal life shyyt but we have to deal with all of the additional BS put on us by society. If you are not strong enough to handle that, you better learn....fast and you better not drop the ball along the way....welcome to my life.

I think sometimes it’s hard to say no, “we” - those of us who are considered strong just keeping helping … taking on other’s responsibilities and accept it as our responsibility. Recently, that Encanto song blew up, Surface pressure and so many people could identify with the character. That expectation that you can handle it, and your identifier is that you reliable and responsible and you think be saying no you are no longer those attributes. Thanks for sharing

Yes , men - things are very tough for men . The isolation and the expectations of society and expectations on our selves . Loss of community all over the western world 🌎. Things are so expensive people are just in their houses exhausted resting or hiding . The upper middle class in urban areas have enough materialism to have gym memberships and expensive hobby’s and social nights out - yes maybe shallow but fulfilling I’m a way . Also upper middle class probably get to find place in a better work culture . The lower classes just grind away to survive and often men are alone as they are perceived as low value by the cultural media shows of opulence. So many many points of disconnection for men and women . Loss of sense of place in society . Good 😊 listening to your honesty and observations ❤️

I’m feeling this way no. Life is definitely not worth it. And no one wants to have a simple conversation anymore. People take advantage of people who reach of for what is supposed to be help, like these systems who profit off of people’s pain like schools and so-called healthcare systems. I am going through this hell now from reaching out. I seriously wish I didn’t do it.

Everything you said is so true. I have been thinking similarly lately.

As a former paramedic of 17 years these calls were always terrible. The grief that comes for family and friends with no one to blame is heartbreaking. I stopped on your video as a mother raising 2 men myself makes me take notice. The strong leader recognizes their weakness and is unashamed to allow someone else to help carry the load. Asking for help does not make you weak it makes you tactically capable. Don't be affraid to reach out when you need help later you will return the favor.

Wow. Thank you Adrian for sharing this.

I've walked alone for a long time and I've realized the world just doesn't care about men. Especially single men. They celebrate dads. Sometimes.

You have a really good heart! I’ve seen several of your videos.., and your soul resonates beauty, love, compassion, and thoughtfulness. My condolences to you about your friend. We need each other in life .., but seriously.., there is a certain void in human beings that only God can fill. I hope that those who have lost their way will discover how amazing and wonderful it is to have the peace of God dwelling in your life richly.., no matter what circumstances surround you. If you’re reading this.., and you feel really depressed, lost, or hopeless in any way … I highly recommend Jesus to you…

Yeah I think technically there is a difference between feeling something is unbearable vs something being unbearable. But to your point maybe it's the same experience, at least most of the time

Judging on your video titles I can really see the problem yeah. Good luck m8

This was a great video but it should have came with one disclaimer. M e n in *western society aren't doing well. If you travel overseas, you'd see the ones over there are doing just fine.

You're talking like a woman. I'm 65 years old and it looks to me like many American men have been converted to acting more female while females are being converted to acting more male. I saw a couple out walking and the man was pushing a baby stroller with his hair in a bun and was wearing sandals that looked like women's while the woman was on her phone, short hair and she's barking commands to the man. I see this a lot. I can imagine all this is very stressful for both genders. I'm dropping out and moving to SE Asia.