Meltdowns and Self-Regulation with Prue Stevenson | Real Life Aspergers Interviews

"I became so good at passing as neurotypical that i couldn't self-regulate anymore" (not her exact words but close) I relate to this so strongly. I passed so well as a child that everyone thought I was fine, and I missed out on any interventions or help. But in secret I was self-injuring and constantly having shutdowns. Just now at 29 I'm learning to regulate in healthy ways by embracing autistic culture! Love her description of stimming as our "cultural dance"!

8:02 "I can feel other people's emotions and can't protect myself from that (...) and I'm also trying to push through my meltdowns so that I can assisst other people through my meltdown". Thanks for putting it so clearly. I now realise I also do that. Having such selfawareness during painfully distressing moments is admirable.

First thought I had...knitting as stimming, that's a new one, awesome! :D But now that I think about it, my grandma used to crochet compulsively (it was the family joke, always said fondly because crocheting was like her super power and she was an award winning crochet artist who made a side living selling her works and was even featured in the local newspapers several times). So maybe that was her form of stimming?

I cried throughout this. I wish the world would understand.

This is the most relatable person I've heard talk about autism so far. I'm 38 and only just learning that I'm autistic through the internet and that so many people are going through similar experiences and that the coping mechanisms I've used my entire life have names and aren't neurotypical and it is blowing my mind. I haven't even really processed it yet.

Thats why I have meltdowns because I try to do so much.....the more i put on my plate the higher the chance of a meltdown...

I’m a non aspy coach and I love how you ask questions. And let the star shine. I’m learning a lot through your channel. Bravo! Arigatou.

This is the first time I’ve actually considered us as a culture. I’ve thought of community but the idea of culture is new to me. It’s radical. I almost have to stop and ponder this for a while to let it sink in.

Thanks so much to Prue for sharing. I remember a noisy sobbing meltdown aged 2 or 3. My dad was so angry. I kept saying I can't stop, but he shut me down. Over my childhood self-control became my total goal in life and I don't know how to let go and be me. Crochet was a way of self regulating in public, though I didn't realise that's what I was doing, and I used to doodle with a pen. Now I have arthritis & I don't know what to do with my hands.

I think the outtakes can be as educational as the "planned" content. Keep including them!

Stimming is our cultural dance"! Wow - that is excellent! I love it!

She is so astute and has such amazing insights! The part about 'autistic culture' just blew my mind. This is something I feel the ambivalence of at this point in life, but didn't have a term for it. I've been reclaiming my own natural mannerisms, habits and impulses as an aspie, after being compelled to hide and rigidly control them all my life. I still struggle with the fact that it does make me appear much less 'normal' and pretty much destroys my considerable past efforts at 'passing' for typical. But what I'm doing is reclaiming my own culture and nature as an aspie. This is a much more positive perspective on it. Thank you!

Looks like she's knitting her own dress as she's wearing it

I completely understand her relationship with meltdowns and somtimes being able to feel them coming. Its freeing in a way. Selfawarness has brought me freedom. Freedom to be myself unapologetically.

Paul, thanks so much for having Prue share her experiences and coping strategies. Love her knitting.

I’m glad I found this video. It has helped me in my journey of acceptance of my ass diagnosis. I was diagnosed two years ago, at age 47 after having been misdiagnosed and (mis-)treated for bipolar and personality disorders, among others, since my early teens. This video made me realize that I have been having meltdowns my entire life. It’s great (and emotional) to be able to put that part of life into context.

aw, I love the outtakes! seeing two very self-aware people figuring out the best way to communicate a message felt so familiar to me, adorable!

I love that you asked ‘what is your favourite thing about being autistic?’ - it changes the perspective of autism from being a ‘disorder’ to being a different (& valued) way of being.

I loved this interview so much. I got emotional at the end where Prue explains the school hierarchy is made by people who did well at school and how art and self expression are at the bottom when they should really be at the top. No wonder we feel so repressed!

I've just started watching your channel, and I really appreciate and enjoy your insights. In January 2020 I discovered after some research that I'm autistic(I'm 48). It now seems completely obvious to me that I'm autistic, and I can't quite believe that nobody spotted it in 48 years. It's come as quite a shock and a revelation for me and my partner. It's almost like we're having to start again. I've been feeling like I was losing the plot, because I couldn't make sense of how I've been feeling all these years. I've got upset again now. I'm pleased I know the truth now, but it doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with some days. Thank you for your videos.