If Republicans Said the Quiet Parts Loud About the Bible
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Published 2024-04-15
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#politicalcomedy #skit #sketchcomedy
All Comments (21)
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If you carry this on much longer, you risk actually getting elected.
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The ultimate irony is if a Republican actually gave this speech they would get a standing ovation and the crowd would start chanting "We're good! We're right!"
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This is 1/3 funny and 2/3 terrifying.
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My favorite part of the bible is the bit where Jesus makes fun of the people who show off their religiosity in public to get a special place in society.
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GOP 2008: Welcome, bigots! GOP 2016: How did nazis take over the party all of a sudden?
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What were the "quite" parts? This sounded too much like a typical MAGA republican speech.
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Spot on. As a Christian, it absolutely infuriates me how these people use a book that teaches the opposite of their beliefs to justify their bigotry. Even if you look at the provisions supposedly "condemning" gay people, there's a complete lack of understanding how to read context, language, etc. combined with horrible translation errors). Not to mention complete disregard for the fact that their own doctrine states Jesus abolished the Old Testament law.
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Personally, I'd have gone with: Fraternal American Society of Christians for Implementing the Sovereign Testament
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"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, the wise as false, and the rulers as useful." - Seneca
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Listing the "female orgasm" as one of things that's no longer called a sin and then, much later, calling out that only their wives understand how you "biblically know the bible" - very well done.
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The genius of this monologue is that it's written in the exact cadences that preachers and God-pimping politicians use in these situations. The up-welling patriotic oratory, the sudden hushed, reverent, even teary declarations of love and gratitude, then a shock-and-awe screaming rant about thunderous retribution, then back to coda and you do it all over. Seriously. Watch one of these guys in action. Steve has completely nailed it.
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The way you fondled that Bible was unsettling. Good job.
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Satire is dead. This is so on point it's not even a lampoon. Sweet Christmas!
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I used to be a janitor for a Catholic school and this dude is spot on!
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This is scarily brilliant. If Steve ever became a Republican, the Dems would be in serious trouble. He comes across a genuine demigogue and believes in what he is saying. It just goes to show how shallow their speeches actually are.
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Honestly if a republican politician gave a speech like this in front of conservative voters, they'd fall in line and get behind it anyway because they also respond to "strong" leadership. We've all heard conservative commentary, they like when someone speaks confidently and "tells it like it is"
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The Fraternal American Trust of Christians Outspoken for Certitude, Knowledge & Sensibility, A.K.A. the F.A.T. C.O.C.K.S.
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"Fraternal American Trust of Christians Outspoken for Certitude Knowledge and Sensibility" ISWYDT
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And this is why church attendance is down.
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I have an uncle that really needs to hear this but if he knew I sent it to him I think he'd become violent...
