Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Abandonment Anxiety

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I know it's common to pathologize abandonment anxiety, but many of us have this anxiety because not only do we have this from childhood but also we don't have family structures that give us security in adulthood either. We have unstable relationships, no children and no extended family. It's real anxiety, because we are alone.

For experience, The instant cure for anxiety is to understand the fact that there are infinite amount of possible outcomes in this universe and our brain only thinks of a handful . A bad outcome can become the means of a good outcome in the future. Just like that a good outcome can become the means of a bad outcome. For example, you lost your job (bad thing). But then you got a new job which is better ( bad thing led to a good outcome.) It's an endless cycle. So just go with the flow and don't think about it . 😄 Goodluck.

0:29 Cognitive Behavioral approach
2:25 What is Abandonment Anxiety?
5:05 Where it comes from
12:21 Create inner safety for change
25:45 Create outer safety for change
29:56 Creating Safety
32:46 Distress Regulation
40:16 Changing unhelpful thinking styles
47:58 ABCs fo abandonment anxiety
51:45 Gathering information
56:38 More Core Beliefs
1:00:08 More Core Beliefs
1:03:16 More Core Beliefs- The fear of loosing someone important
1:05:57 Gathering information - what behaviors do they have that contribute?
1:09:33 Gathering information - what strengths and resources do they have?
1:11:48 Gathering information - 3 reasond to address AF?
1:13:09 Baseline monitoring
1:14:52 Becoming empowered
1:18:17 Summary

So glad I found this channel. 2017, my husband suddenly passed away, didn't know I suffered from this until three years later when I decided to date. In a relationship, I'm extremely anxious. If I don't hear from the person within a certain time frame, I begin to think the worse.

Everyone knows the old story When giving a speech: you tell the audience what you’re going to tell him, then you tell them, then you tell them what you told them. Most people can see through the façade of the speaker, but this lady presents her topics so well and she has a very enthusiastic voice and dedication which makes the audience want to listen, she’s a very good presenter and speaker…

Your channel has blessed me so much. For years I pushed down trauma and just kept ignoring the effects of physical and mental abuse as well as the abandonment of a parent. I knew that there were psychological effects, but I could not understand why I recreated the problems, self sabotaged, or ran from personal relationships until listening to your explanations of the physiological effects. The HPA axis, cortisol, adrenaline, epinephrine rush followed by the oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine cycles. For 48 years I ran on fear, anxiety, and a victim mindset, never sleeping, always pushing myself. I am literally having to learn to live in peace. I can’t tell you how beautiful it is, although I find myself exhausted not having the anxiety and adrenaline rush to keep me motivated. I am still learning my new normal. Thank you so much!

As a late teen with severe mental health issues I fell down the hole of new age. It helped me in some ways but worsened me in other ways. I left after 5 years. They always fear mongered psychologists etc for close mindedness and not understanding the "true scale" of the human mind. Even after I left I was always sceptical of "traditional" mental health experts. Now I did the unthinkable and decided to watch this video. This video alone has helped me way more than so many new age guru videos combined. I should've done this sooner but hey, it's part of my journey through life. Thanks for reading and I wish everyone mental clarity and peace.

I am so glad I found this. I am an adoptee from Moldova, I was abandoned at birth and have also dealt with many abandoning experiences at a young age (best friends passing away, family members passing away, and also my best friend moving away very young), always being an outcast in school, and had a difficult time letting new people into my life, both romantically and when engaged with friendships). I am now 24, a University graduate, and have been in therapy and seen different psycologists for many years due to this. It's been extremely difficult as I'm also an HSP. However, I have made a lot of progress in the past years. Thank you for your content, it truly helps and makes a difference.

Thank you for your hard work and devotion to us listeners

My main issue is that flood of adrenaline, esp if tired or stressed, to responding correct, instead of react.
Ugh
But I’m learning and getting better. TFS.

I am on the waiting list for cbt. I am keeping my emotions from overwhelming me while I wait. These videos are helping me, I am goin to create myself, Thank you.

I did an intervention with my father when he had anxiety and panic attacks after his wife's family kicked him out of his home. He was sufering elder abuse. He is definately under the autism spectrum. I pursued further and he revealed things buried in his soul. He was abused by parents who were abused.
Thankfully I and orher siblings reversed the generational sin pattern becase we knew it was wrong and without knowing how deep the issues ran.
The health care model here is broken and he fell through the gaps. I am glad I did but now I have plenty of my own work to do.
The comments demonizing people to be incarcerated are not helpful nor appropriate.
Truth is many are incarcerated in our private hells. One can forgive and set up boundaries or cut all ties. Remember these behaviours are taught and caught.

Thanks for the excellent teaching to be better caregivers and for self care.

I was deeply traumatized by early childhood of parents' divorce and father's departure. That sense of abandonment caused in me a lifelong sense of isolation, anxiety, and melancholia. In my 70's now, the scar still sits on my shoulders like a thousand pound weight.

It's hard when the person you've got abandonment anxiety around is the person who gave it to u

Going through a 12 week online guided cbt program and so many of these videos have broadened my understanding of my challenges so much. I am greatful for this channel and these presentations.

I would love to have an in person discussion with this lady. She seems kind.

This is helpful, thank you. Even seeing your low-cut dress triggered thoughts of, "What would I do if I were at a party with my husband and he was interacting with her in an attentive manner?' This gave me an opportunity to project that scenario into the future and form a plan of action within myself.

I am so grateful I found your channel,🙏🏻 thanks to your videos Dr. I am more aware of what' happening in my mind and it makes me feel peace and hope

10:54 it’s to feel like your able to make a change in the others behavior to have control over ones self