6 experiences unique to autistic adults

I'm an Autistic Adult. Here's the bottom line: We live in a society OBSESSED with work and access to property and credit. OBSESSED. Some of y'all have even said, your families are obsessed with work. This is the MAJOR challenge of my adult life. Not so much the work itself but dealing with all the pettiness, drama, and bullshit of coworkers day in and day out.

I wish sensory friendly bars existed where autistic adults could show up, drink, and info dump in a dimly lit room with peaceful music in the background. Looks like a library but it's a bar.

In theory I agree with you. BUT if you only get diagnosed as an adult (I was 57 yrs old) it is completely different. After a lifetime of "failure" (school, university, work, relationships etc) getting diagnosed is a relief. But it made me also very angry at all the health care professionals who did not take the time to look deeper, called me lazy or stupid (even stubborn), because I lacked so many "normal" skills.

I want to add to that last point, as someone who's been adjusting to living alone the last year, that for me it wasn't about forgetting to do those things. With meals especially I would get so overwhelmed each day that I would have a meltdown. My mind would go really fuzzy and I couldn't think clearly enough to put a meal together. Doing way better now though if that helps give hope to anyone out there! One step at a time

That last part about living independently is a bit daunting as an autistic adhd person, I see people like my parents whose lives revolve around work act like “that’s just the way it is” since that’s how they were raised which kinda freaks me out because usually for me after doing a big task or going out to run errands my brain and body are just done and need to decompress, also planning and organizing things for neurodivergent people takes more mental energy than most realize so not only is energy spent on physical tasks but the planning of what’s next. I’m trying to transition towards a mindset of navigating life at my own pace and factoring in my difficulties but I still feel surrounded by this social pressure of “you need to do more, you need to achieve more, you’re falling behind” I hope my fellow neurodivergent adults are doing well ❤

I have an older cousin who just gave me the adult sex talk. I learned about puberty and everything else when I was 10. However, no one ever explained to me the complex social needs and expectations that people have in an adult sexual relationship. This was prompted by me telling him that I met someone that I find interesting. It was a great lecture and I learned a lot. People who are not autistic probably wouldn't have needed such a lecture, but my cousin understands that I need human interaction explained. Otherwise, I'm just frustrated and confused by why people are mad at me.

"Autistic adults who manage to hold down a job struggle (with tasks at home)" 🙋‍♀️💯

I relate to all six. The strangest thing for me is the last one, living independently. I've done a lot of things and had life experiences many people dream of having like travelling the world and achieving "dreams" etc. Idk how I did those things and do them. But at the end of the day, I can barely take care of myself in a way NTs can. I get confused, muddled and overwhelmed very easily with things like paying bills, taxes and applications etc. I always live a life of incredibly high stress that's lead to becoming disabled. I have an ASD 2 friend who is very good at big picture planning, but I have no clue how to do that. Ppl presume I'm doing just fine 'cos they would expect an adult like me to do those things, but in reality idk if I'll end up homeless in a few months or not simply 'cos I cannot tend to basics. It's always infuriated my abusive family 'cos it just seems like I don't have a plan. And yet I've done all these supposed "big things" in everyone else's eyes that makes them presume I'm capable because I hyperfixated on one aspect of something and checked off every box in order boom-boom-boom until I was done and then I am lost again. So the skill gaps aren't just in my professional life, they exist like big gaping holes in my actual life. Like Jim below, I just feel alone and scared all the time as I'm sure many autistic adults must feel too.

It doesn't feel empowering. Now that I know it feels like a cage. There are things I've wanted to do my whole life that I know I just can't now. I'm pretty much just alone and scared. Lucky for me, my special interest is computers and programming.

I'm 62. At the age of 54 I saw Temple Grandin give a lecture 'I think in pictures'. It was a revelation and a shock and an epiphany all in one. I thought everyone thought in picture's. To discover people had no mental visualisation was the shock. I was and am saddened that my wife doesn't think in picture's. That she can't see her mothers face in her head as I do. The fact I have, what can only be described as, a heads up display at all times in my vision is to me a bonus. I thought everyone did. I could never show my workings out in the margins of my maths book because it was visual. I didn't, and don't, understand how you can do it differently. There are severe difficulties I also face in life, but to be without my visualisation would be crippling. I was clinically diagnosed as having Asperger's at the age of 57. I'd struggled all my life and now I actually believe I'm gifted and better for the way I think. I really feel sorry for those who can't see. In the course of my research leading up to my diagnosis, I discovered some people don't even have an inner monologue (!??) I can't fathom that on any level. Since diagnosis my crippling depression has virtual vanished... The measure of sanity should not be how well we fit into a profoundly broken society - Jiddu krishnamurti I believe, and I've paraphrased somewhat.

You say it so succinctly: "Eating, sleeping, cleaning, and running errands" Yep those are all tough. I live on my own and for now am managing to hold down a job to afford that. But on stressfull days i forget to eat a meal or two, only remember when i get a headache or cant concentrate then realize its from hunger. My house is always in disarray, never would really have anyone over, even if i had friends, because its embarassing. Errands are the worst. Usually order grocery delivery. How did people deal before that? Youre telling me to not starve you had to make a shopping list and go to the grocery store every week!? Things i do to kind of work around it: Hire someone to mow my lawn even though its kind of a waste of money. Get groceries delivered Basically eat the same food every week. Usually just have 1 same breakfast and a few super easy entrees i repeat for dinner and lunches. Have no hacks for cleaning i cant afford to hire cleaners wish i could - i feel like outsourcing is the eadiest answer to all these things but all that takes money. I know i am lucky to afford getting someone to mow the lawn. Anyway - ramble over.

This would be more accessable without the music- I couldn't make it to the end as the music kept getting in the way.

Forgetting to eat, drink and sleep. Yep, that's me!

I've been fighting my work for over a year to allow me to wear hearing protection. I FINALLY am able to wear it after telling them I'm dealing with hearing loss. I had to fill out an incident report. I work at a warehouse... My performance and mental health have improved since.

How about the fact that being “high functioning” with a later in life diagnosis, I’m not believed or dismissed when it comes to my health. It took me over a year and nine months on sick leave befor a doctor believed me and I’m a nurse!

Great video, you literally pointed out just about every struggle I'm currently facing in a way that may be understandable to allistic folks that I usually end up over explaining.

This is mostly true for me on #1, but I still have absolutely no idea what anybody else is thinking or why the rules are what they are. In retrospect, it's hard for me to understand how I didn't notice. I guess, I heard that people can't mind read, so that means that nobody knows anything about what other people are thinking.

(after five minutes of solid information bombardment from a fast talker while I concentrate on maintaining appropriate eye contact so I look like I'm listening, but I can't listen because my attention is on worrying about looking like I'm listening and worrying that I've already forgotten most of it while they were still talking but I can't interrupt them to write any of it down or admit that I already forgot everything they said) "Can you put that in an email for me for so I can refer back to it?" "No. That's why I'm telling you now to save time and so I don't have to write it down." Literally no clue what I had been told. I was gone about two weeks later.

"As they age, an autistic adult's migraines start to get more intense" Wait. This is a THING? Because I've definitely been seeing this over the last few years and hadn't connected it to either aging or Autism (and yes I have autism Dx). The really annoying thing is the way that tinnitus, which used to be just the precursor to a migraine has nearly become constant. It feels like my brain has just been turning up the sensory sensitivities now that I'm past 50 and I'm not at all happy about that

This video = my life... Thank you for sharing this information, I appreciate it and am thinking it's the best one I have watched that perfectly describes what it's like being an autistic adult. I'm 67 and got clarification FINALLY in the past year, but knew I was "very different" since I was a child. I'm in the process of reframing my entire life now and it's a journey that is EVERYTHING.