Narcissism Is a Defense Against BPD | OTTO KERNBERG

So basically a Narcissist is a paradox of someone who is full of themselves but rather empty

What I hate is when I am called the narcissist by abusive people for merely standing up for myself

"Grandiosity and emptiness at the same time." Nailed it.

Fascinating. If you see a narcissist get broken out of their frame you witness a bpd type meltdown. Then they regroup and pretend it never happened.

I think it all begins with the LACK OF SELF-REFLECTION with Narcs. There is healthy self-esteem and toxic self-esteem; the Narc's is TOXIC.

Translation: Some people are just self-centered jerks.

To quote Sam Vaknin “narcissism isn’t a choice. Narcissistic behavior is a choice.”

I also suspect that BPD can somewhat result from narcissistic interpersonal relationships. The gaslighting, manipulation, and inconsistency can leave a person feeling empty, disconnected from their feelings, and without identity.

it all begins and it all ends with lying

I stay clear away from dependent people. Narcissists thrive in that world of following, drama and immaturity. I love independent people. Narcissist are not independent at all.

NPD and BPD are 2 Very different personality disorders. They can overlap however. But not everyone with BPD has NPD.

They build a grandiose view of themselves. Then, the lies and gaslighting are woven into a fortress.

If you have the Capacity to Humbly Self Reflect and even Honestly Ask yourself if you're a Narcissist... you're Not!

I never installed the narcissistic defense mechanism on myself. I just lived as a ghost without a real personality, hollow, transparent, even unreal.

As a retired therapist I am pleased to hear him again. Splitting predominates and they lack object constancy. Grandiosity as a defense against their dependency.

I unknowingly invited one to my home to hang out for a couple days..... To say that I was exhausted is an understatement

I have often speculated to myself that BPD and NPD are perhaps approximately the same thing, but that BPD folks still have hope and desire for deep connection with others, and are very vulnerable in that regard, while NPD folks have given up. Given up on the possibility of real connection, and shut down vulnerability. In other words: BPD minus hope.

Lack of self love which leads to anything else like this or extreme sporting or extreme career needs or extreme caring for others...it's all lack of self love ❤

1. Narcissism is a secondary defense against the fragmenting of one's self-concept, one's concept of significant others, and the struggle between idealized and persecutory segments of experience. 2. Narcissism is a self-constructed pathological, grandiose, sense of self. This is constituted by ideal aspect of the self, ideal aspects of others as if one possessed them, and ideal aspirations of the self as if one achieved them. One's need of others meanwhile is denied and devalued. 3. A deep split between the idealization of self and a sense of victimhood from others come before the underlining borderline structure against which the narcissistic structure was a defense.

Most don't get anywhere near therapy BTW as convincing them that they're the problem and have a problem is one of many hurdles, insurmountable in many cases. Imagine being raised by someone like this. Some don't have to imagine.