5 Common Mistakes when talking with Preschool Children

Retired preschool teacher here, and THANK YOU!!! Personally I'd add Don't force kids to apologize and say "sorry"! And then make them hug (which I've often seen). Most of the time they aren't one bit sorry, and that just teaches them to act phony to get out of trouble! Instead have them say "I'll try not to do that any more" ,then hold them to it. It's a more honest statement from a small child. Rant over! Thank you!

Sometimes you can get a stubborn preschooler to do what they are required to do by giving them an "apparent" choice. In my preK4 internship, I had a little boy who did not want to wait for his friend outside, he wanted to go inside and get her. I told him that was not allowed, but he was going to go nevertheless. When I said, "You can't go in, but you can either wait here by the mats or you can wait over there by the pole.", he immediately capitulated, chose his waiting place, and waited like a lamb.

5. Over-flattery, 4. Using terms that have no meaning, 3. Don’t ask if it’s not a choice, 2. Don’t end your statement with ‘okay’, 1. Not Telling children what you want them to do - need to do it in a positive way

I’m not a preschool teacher, but I am a first-time dad. I found this helpful. Thanks!

Good reminders! I was taught these tips years ago by a great teacher and managed to forget most of them. I would add: if you do want to praise children (many of them crave positive reinforcement) be very specific. Instead of saying "I love your picture" I'll sometimes say: "I like how many colors you used. Or "You are really taking your time with that picture. Good job."

In line with #4 (avoiding comments like "you know better " and "didn't I just tell you") I have a list of call and response reminders for common struggles. When I call out "where do your feet go?" the children call back "on the floor!" It's a gentle reminder that makes the children take responsibility for things that they "know better" rather than me simply repeating the instructions. Also, as often as you can, use a gesture rather than words. Have set gestures for things like "please sit down" "put on your listening ears" "use kind words" "remember to share". It serves the dual purposes of being able to correct one child without derailing the group or of intervening from across the room without needing to insert yourself into the situation. Again, the act of interpreting the gesture makes them state the rule in their own head, which is 10x more effective than just hearing me say it.

Thanks for the tips. I have 2 kids and I realized they do not understand negative x negative sentences e.g. Instead of saying: if you don’t eat you lunch you cannot have candy! I should say: Do you want candy? And when she says yes then I can say: Then eat your lunch first. This always works.

This also works perfectly with 11-12 year olds starting secondary school (I'm a teacher in 1st and 2nd year and you won't believe how these kind and direct words help them fit into a new environment)

This video has over 250k views! Thank you so much to the wonderful community of teachers and parents that have watched and commented on this video. I am truly grateful and humbled!

Gotta listen to this over and over and over until it’s drilled in my head.

Love that....especially to positively state what you want them to do ("put your feet on the floor") rather than stating what you don't want them to do ("dont stand on the table!").

Hahaha. Thanks for this. I work in a Montessori pre-primary class and am working towards getting my degree in Early Education. When I see a child trying to climb the outside fence or tilting back in their chairs I make sure to say, "Lets remember; our feet belong on the floor!" (Or I say "ground") when we're outside. When a kid runs past me inside the school I say, "Show me your walking feet, please" or "Can you show me how we walk in school?" Sometimes I hold their hands (if they need extra reminders) and walk alongside them sloooooowwwly so they get the picture without me having to say anything. I almost never even use the words "run" or "don't". Now if a child is running, usually all I have to do is look at them and smile and 90% of the time they'll kind of smile shyly back and slow down to a walk. Lol. 😁

So true. I remember in middle school, my band director asked me "do you want to do that scale now" (in front of the class, that I had messed up the day before), and I was like "no". He got so triggered 😂 why ask me, if I don't have a choice?

I'm watching this the night before I will hold my first ever lesson at a kindergarten. I find these very interesting and I hope they will help me out tomorrow!

Why am I watching this? I don't even have kids nor am I a teacher.lol

(Mother and teacher of small kids) Excellent video! Thanx! Another tip would be: when you're finished with explaining an activity or a task, don't ask them 'did you understand it? or 'did you get what you have to do?' Because it sounds as if don't understanding the task is THEIR problem. Instead, ask them 'Is it clear?' or 'Have I made myself clear on this?' So they don't think they didn't understand because they were unable to do it.

This applies to parenting at home, too. Found it useful with my kindergartener :)

Adding on to number 4, something I've learnt is that kids might know something in theory but not how to do it in real life. They may know how to be a good friend, that they are supposed to say nice things and to not fight, but they might not know how to actually do it. If we prepare exercises and games where they can practise their skills they will learn it and become pros!

These are great. I'm guilty of all 5. I especially like number 1. Giving them the direction of what to do instead of what not to do.

I am a teaching assistant working most commonly with kids aged 2-14, and the best tip I have learned in my position is number 1. It works wonders with all age groups, and I do not feel as though I am scolding them constantly if I use this language.