3 Ways ADHD Makes You Think About Yourself
656,062
Published 2020-03-04
Schema 1- Feeling defective
You feel inadequate at all levels. This can make you hypersensitive to criticism and rejection. You can also feel insecure around people and always be in a state of comparing yourself to others.
Schema 2 - A basic sense of failure.
Essentially you feel you haven’t met your potential. With this schema people often feel inept, stupid, lacking talent or just doomed to be less successful than everyone else. This can cause you to give up easily on things or not even try something because after all, you’re not going to be good at it.
Schema 3 - Insufficient self-control
You can’t rely on yourself to accomplish the things you need to. You can’t tolerate the frustration that comes with waiting for a desired outcome. Also through this schema you avoid certain responsibilities or duties that are uncomfortable even if it means missing out on something that could advance you.
Over the years you can develop a cycle of negative experiences that lead to a negative appraisal of yourself. This leads to maladaptive coping strategies like procrastinating, or avoiding things altogether. This creates negative emotions like depression, anxiety, guilt, anger and frustration.
Then these coping strategies and negative emotions confirm your core beliefs that you’re defective, you're a failure and you have insufficient self-control.
What can you do about it?
One goal is to change your core beliefs about yourself because those beliefs perpetuate the dysfunctional behavior like avoidance and procrastination which creates more problems for you. This is best done with the help of a therapist who is trained in Schema Therapy.
A second goal is to change your coping strategies in a way that modifies your schema or core beliefs. The new feedback that you get from others and yourself becomes more positive. Your schema is formed from your experiences and how you respond to input you get externally. Therefore, consistent positive feedback helps to change your schema.
Stay tuned for more information on how to change some of the dysfunctional behavior’s that perpetuate the negative core beliefs.
Want to know more about mental health and self-improvement? On this channel I discuss topics such as bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), relationships and personal development/self-improvement. I upload weekly. If you don’t want to miss a video, click here to subscribe. goo.gl/DFfT33
Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
All Comments (21)
-
getting people without adhd to understand “i have problems doing things, basic things that i know i have to do like showering, sleeping, and brushing my teeth, even things i want to do and love doing” is difficult. it’s extremely extremely extremely easy to fall into negative thoughts patterns about yourself when all you’ve ever heard is how much potential you have that’s going to be wasted because of how lazy you are
-
I'm not made for this society i wanna run around in nature and catch squirrels.
-
Dude I’m literally in tears. I’m 26 years old and have never been diagnosed with ADHD but I’ve always had a very hard time completing tasks and doing things I don’t want to do. I am convinced that I do have ADHD and knowing I’m not just a worthless and useless person who can’t accomplish anything is so comforting and hopefully I can get some help to manage my issues and finally make some progress in life.
-
Dam this is eye-opening. I have ADHD and I struggle with this annoying loop where I apply for a job and think "yeah I can do this, my experience matches up" - then they call me and I think "actually, what if I mess up something or I'll struggle with basic things?" Then I talk myself out of it and don't return the call
-
I've entered in a stage where positive feedback don't affect me but negative feedback destroys me
-
I’ll never forget my friends telling me they didn’t trust me because of how unreliable I was. While I was lucky enough to be academically capable of graduating high school easily, the impact my “best friends” had on me never has or will leave me. According to them, I’m unreliable, lazy, and don’t care… I just wish they realized how much I cared without me having to prove it in a neurological way… because I care more than anyone
-
I'm an adult with ADHD, and I've been struggling with that EXACT cycle for years. I've been told countless times that "it's all a choice" or "you just need to want it bad enough." Then, when I have problems like being late or impulsive, I feel bad because I seem to be just too lazy or unwilling to make better choices! I'm going to show my parents this video, and maybe they'll have a more open mind about it.
-
I've been told early in life that I have a learning disability. Yes, I get depressed. But, now, I run someone's business, can do auto repair, electrical repair, basic plumbing repair, I live on my own. Seeing a therapist was the best thing I've ever done!
-
Literally me. People have called me dumb plenty of times and I developed a horrible self esteem because of my adhd. Thank God I had a support system that encouraged me to get diagnosed.
-
One of the biggest frustrations for me as someone who has ADD is that I know I have the ability/capacity to do things, but the difficulties imposed by ADD block my ability to fully reach my potential. Potential and ability are there, but I can't fully access it. It's maddening.
-
Here just after I made someone I respect a lot angry again and procrastinated on studying for an exam until last three hours (every test I have I studied for the night before), not able to focus on what I have to do, but becoming almost a self called doctor of psychology, sleep deprived sleeping 4 hours a day for almost two years because I can’t get myself into bed, and hateful towards myself because I keep on running away from my responsibilities until the last second, and because I am so sensitive, socially awkward, never aware of what is happening outside of me, always falling behind, disappointing people, disappointing myself. Honestly, life with ADHD is a horror. I don’t know what to do, I’m trying to change every single day, but no matter how hard I try to keep up with everything, something always falls between my fingers. I’m sorry that we are going through ADHD. It’s truly traumatic to have it, to say the least. Know, that no matter how hard it gets, being you is still worth it. I’m here with you.❤
-
Recently diagnosed.. 36 years old. After years of feeling that I waste of air because I couldn’t bring myself to finish anything, or just find motivation to focus.. then having these thoughts reinforced by the people around me..this video literally explained so much of what I have been trying to understand
-
This is me 100%. I’m at a point where I’m afraid I’ll never change.
-
I was nearly in tears watching this because she hit every nail on the head. I've always felt inadequate and like a failure for not measuring up to others. Even now, as an adult and being aware that it's a disorder causing my issues, I can't seem to get a grip on it. Even my parents, who are aware of my ADHD, don't really understand how hard it is. They just tell me I need to try harder and it's exhausting trying to fit their expectations. They don't mean to make me feel worse, they just don't understand it.
-
So I have discovered I have ADHD at age 65 and I want to say I am most impressed by my ELABORATE ways of explaining myself to myself. And how others have characterized this...including therapists...has also been elaborate...and wrong. Knowing I have ADHD is SUCH A RELIEF. I feel much better about myself now. I've been doing my best! And no one knew what it was when I was a kid struggling.
-
My mind is blown. I recently got an ADHD diagnosis (at the age of 46) and I just thought I was stuck for life with my inability to be successful at some of the most important parts of my life. And now to realize that that is a lie?? That I'm not a bad person and I really can be successful?? I think I'm going to cry!
-
Watching this had brought me to tears. I only got diagnosed over a year ago at 26 but I sometimes think the damage that living life in a strict and academic setting with undiagnosed ADHD caused is sometimes too much to fix
-
I've seen many videos about adhd ect...I have NEVER watched one that explains ME so well! Its just how I've evolved and its nice to know things can change. Fantastic informative video. Thank you.
-
WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION to read my my mind like that?! 😅 this was so helpful thank you!
-
Im 32. I haven't been medically diagnosed, but your videos really make me feel that I have gone undiagnosed for my entire life.
