Complicated Grief Healing | Coping with Trauma and Loss

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I lost my partner about 4 months ago. This is one of the better discussions of grief that I have found on Youtube.

It’s really sad to me that I have to go on YouTube to get good information about my mental health. No therapist I’ve ever seen have ever explained any of the things I’m learning here. Thank you for what you do!! Without you I’d still be stuck in my old ways! This one is a hard one for me. I’m grieving the loss of all three children. One passed away and the other two stolen by the state. My dog just died too. Also my son died in a very traumatic way that makes me blame myself everyday. I’ll probably never believe it’s not my fault but if I at least find some coping mechanisms it won’t be so hard. Ty for reading if you made it this far.

I can't stop crying - I have lossed both parents, and much more - I feel so empty and lossed. The tears will not let up right now

Lost my husband, best friend, liver, partner. Now I’m lost without him, no dreams, no future, alone, empty.

I'm using this video today during my grief group therapy. I'm already crying because in this past year I lost my little dog that I had for 12 years, my husband left me 3 weeks ago and my son moved to Florida last July. I feel empty. Plus I had stage 3 breast cancer three years ago and lost my breasts. I'm hurting so badly right now but each day I have to put on a happy face for my patients. 😢

My grief is neverending, because he is not dead. If somebody dies, from there you could start recovering, in a way. He is alive but he got very mentally ill and he is always in my life, so there is never a starting date to start recovering for me, every day is a trauma day and a nightmare grief day. He is totally gone but not gone, but he is totally gone

My grandpa was watching me on the day he passed. I was 6 yo and he was eating chicken & rice. He started choking and I’ve tried helping as much as I could, I ran outside to look for help. Ran back inside and he was still choking, I untied his shirt and patted his back to help him, but it wasn’t enough. He started foaming at the mouth and then he passed. My aunt finally arrived and total chaos afterwards, when everyone found out. I don’t believe I dealt with this as a child, but here I am 24 years later and it hurts me like it was yesterday. My grandpa was just as important as my parents, he was my main caregiver during the day, when both my parents were working. None of the adults thought of speaking to me or taking me to a specialist, thinking that I was just a child and not really get what was happening. The wake lasted almost a week, freezing weather during this time of the year, and they had a choir during every day of the wake. The funeral day was so hot and sunny! I remember my father, only 26 at the time, crying and smoking cigarettes, one after another, while on our way to the cemetery. What hurts the most is that these memories are most vivid, and the beautiful ones of my wonderful grandpa are fading away slowly. My mom always reminds me how much he loved me and how much he cared for me, and that everything he did was for me to see me smile. I live every day thinking about him, and how much I wish I met him now, what we say to eachother, would he be proud of who I have become? So many unsaid thing. Angel in Heaven, watching over me, I love you and will forever keep you in my heart, mind and soul!

Thank you for mentioning the loss of a sister. The grief community does not recognize this devastating loss. There are support groups for all other relationships except adult sibling loss. My sister died almost three years ago. My life has been such a void since. Nancy was born with some mental disabilities. We were best friends. After both of our parents died I became her legal guardian. We lived together all but 11 of her 63 years. I love her so much. Nancy was my purpose in life. I have no purpose in life now. I am all alone. I hurt every day. It took me two years to cope enough to pick out a cemetery plot for her ashes. It all seemed so final. I am a mess.

I've lost everything everyone else mentioned, 3 dogs, sister, husband, 4 kids, 2 parents I took care of with alzihiemers, my breast implants due to illness. My best friend, my job of 13 years, now my house, my entire life. Moving across country alone now. Leaving the last place I had my family in. My parents died in , my doggies died in and i had the love of my life in . I have no will to live. But I'm trying. All loss hurts but I'm not sure I can bounce back after losing all this in a year and a half.

After Nancy died. I signed a DNR for myself. If I get diagnosed with any terminal condition, I am just going to opt for palliative care over ravaging treatments. I would have fought anything like crazy to be here and take care of my sister. Now that she is gone and I am alone, nature can take its course.

My beautiful kind selfless mother passed away yesterday (March 11, 2022) and I cannot express the depths of my sorrow, sadness and the emptiness I feel. She was the most wonderful person I’ve ever known. She was the source of all joy, the rock and the life of our family. I really cannot see how I can recover when we had hope and she seemed like she was going to make it. I just wish I had one more week, one more month and one more year with her. I pray pray pray I get to see her again.

I'm so grateful you said that mourning 2-3 years is normal. My husband died suddenly in 2020, right as the pandemic was starting. It was extremely traumatic finding him on the floor and then trying to save him while I had 911 on speakerphone. His death has been just devastating. I grew up in an alcoholic home and then married (and later divorced) an unreliable man. Until my Gabriel, I never felt I could count on people for much of anything, including basic needs. now that he is gone, I find myself feeling frustrated and helpless when I need help, and people flake out. For the most part, I am independent, but there are certain physical things I can't do because of limitations. Also, I don't trust people, especially men. I feel like a target out in the open and have experienced others trying to take advantage of me in my vulnerable state, so I withdraw from society. I'm lonely, but I'm lonely for HIM... if that makes sense. I am slowly trying to re-enter life, but it's not easy, and there are a lot of tears.😔

I lost my sister, then my health, then my 27 year marriage and did not get to keep any of my memories…. I feel so STUCK. Thank you for addressing this on this platform. There is a great deal of trauma too due to stalking after my divorce and am getting into more intense direct therapy. I try hard to focus on joy, and not overthink my losses. As I know it’s already overwhelming enough, but am so stuck in the process. I can only pray I will someday feel again, as I did, before my world was flipped upside down.

Thank you so much Dr Snipes. I lost my father in February and can relate to all the symptoms that you described. It is of such comfort to know that this is part of the grieving process - memory loss, inability to concentrate, sleep issues, anger and feelings of hopelessness. Listening to you was like wrapping myself in a soft blanket with a warm cup of cocoa. I have learnt so much from this podcast but mostly to be kind to myself and give myself time. You are not only a very talented therapist but also have a big heart.

This was one of the most comprehensive and informatal pod cast I ever heard. This this and this word for word. The woman literally asks the exact questions that one has to thereselves during this time and give answers. Absolute understanding over this. Thank you for this video it literally gave my thoughts questions and answers over all this knowing someone gets it. Sometimes someone that communicates they been through things and understands is a major aspect to this healing,

Thank you for being a guide for those of us grieving 🙏🏼

Thank you for your videos. Lost a close friend, only 26 years young. Glad to have this information to navigate the grieving process. My husband considered him a brother. This has left a huge hole in our hearts, he had so much life left to live. But we must go on .

Thank you for mentioning your stepfather's recurring reaction. When I was 35 a friend told me I got depressed every February and I brushed the comment off because we lived in England and after 4 months of winter everyone's depressed right? Then when I was 42 a doctor pointed out that I only ever came to see him on February 6th and I finally started taking notice. When I looked back at my life I had left jobs, husbands and friends on February 6th. My mum had died suddenly on that date. I'm 71 now and still have problems every Feb 6th, accidents or ill health - it seems my body is at a low ebb around that time.

U touched on so much for me. I have experienced all the above .. I lost my Beloved son, who was only 28, it was right before Christmas 2019 .... I don't really know how to be the new person I've become, because part of myself Died with him... Anger, Guilt, questioning WHY are part of my everyday thought processes ... The Pain is Unbearable at times ... 😢 I am THAT person who has no social support, No Family to check in on me, I have lost so called friends in this difficult time... I feel very alone and empty...in addition to losing my Son, I have lost 3 beloved animal babies as well, which is also Grief ....