Establishing Healthy Boundaries with Adult Children (Part 1) - Allison Bottke

Today I believe that families living together can help each other. The high cost of living is terrible. As a young woman years ago while living on my own, I struggled. There was no one to help me. Now my sister and I are both in our 60’s and we live together. It helps with us financially.

To the lady, thank you for being raw and honest. It is easier to take advice from someone who is not trying to paint themselves as perfect .

There’s a fine line between helping and enabling .

Sometimes there are no supportive people around when you are going through something like this

I think moving out also has something to do with getting married and people these days aren’t getting married and moving out like they used to.

I was 21 years old when I moved out of my parents house with 2 room mates. My Dad was very hurt and upset and thought I did it because I disliked him. He yelled I'd be back in 6 months because I couldn't survive without them. Actually it was a great learning experience for me to become independent and self efficent. I'm now divorced and a senior citizen

It’s heartbreaking listening to this lovely woman’s account of her struggles with her son. As a mother I think we always seem to blame ourselves for our sons or daughters behaviour but some children are a lot more challenging than others so I certainly wouldn’t always blame the parent.I consider myself lucky with mine but my brother was tricky. He found life difficult and still does.

I so needed to hear this, constant prayer has been my remedy for peace🌷

Cutting the umbilical cord at birth doesn't hurt; but cutting the cord at eighteen hurts beyond description.

Ha! I wanted my Son to feel the suffering of life so he could learn to get off the ground when he fell on his face! He is now 27 years old and I am so proud of how he approaches life’s struggles! He beat addiction and poverty on his own…. It doesn’t help to enable them!

Because of economy, I would prefer my kids be house mates than work 60-80 hours JUST to pay all the bills. When rent is $2500 for a two bedroom apartment, cars are 2xs more expensive and insurances on cars require you list everyone in the household on your insurance, with$15-19 per hour after taxes, making barely$3K a month... Burnout is a thing. Now, I have four kids, older three are on their own. Teaching is key

We're the bride, He is the bridegroom. Love it when you listen well, letting the guests talk.

American parents seem to always be in a hurry to "kick their children out" without adequately teaching and preparing them for it,then complain when they come back home.These times are very different for young people compared to the generation who are now 65-76 or older.The cost of living is impossible and don't tell me it's all relevant and we are not even talking about the kinds of evil challenges they are exposed to in these times.Enjoy the company of your older children if you are fortunate enough to have them in your life still!Life is way too short.!

Allison Bottke's book on Relationship with Your Adult Children helped me so much!!

After traveling a long road of bumpy, difficult relationship with my daughter the last straw was when she wouldn't say goodbye to her dying father and she didn't speak to me when I took her son to the ER when he needed to go and I was closer in location to him. I am done. I can pray for her and her family. I do not need to see or talk to her.

Never lose hope!! Hope has been my anchor for all my struggles.

It certainly is a fine line between helping & enabling, 2 of my grown children are addicts, my youngest & only daughter is 28 and has been on drugs almost 6 years, lost her 2 girls 3&6,my middle son has been in this life for 18 years but only a few weeks ago went through his first, hopefully his last rehab🙌🏼 I haven't seen him yet but he's supposed to come here 2 days from now, Thanksgiving!!! I know for sure I need the help of holy spirit because our relationship has been a disaster while he was using, had finally told him not to come back until he got help, so praying this time will be different, peaceful and the beginning of our restoration 🙏🏼

Speak up set boundaries. Know inyour heart that you are doing the right thing. Don't complicate it. Kids have a way of complicating things when they don't want to do something

I believe all children should have an experience studying a music instrument and participating in competitions. Those experiences teach children to be able to stand on their own feet because parents cannot help them on stage. It is not just about music, it is about life. I also homeschooled my children until they went to college at their early teens. Both were very musical, high achievers of classical piano, personal, friendly, engaging, and extremely hardworking children. They were very successful in their college education and graduate school education, one MDPhD and one JD. I am very fortunate and I am grateful.

I think a lot of parents worry, if they set healthy boundaries, their children won't love them anymore. As parents we are the guiding light, if necessary, we must let them stumble and fall and get up and keep going, because the shift goes from their physical body, to their emotions, they then need to learn about emotions, boundaries, self love. Most parents haven't learnt that for themselves