The corpses that changed my life | Caitlin Doughty | TEDxVienna

I'm a simple deathling, I see mama I click

"Death is not an emergency." Such a profound sentence.

Dear people who don't get her, joking is coping. Everyone has their own way about things, dont be upset because she isnt you. She is a very respectful, relatable woman.

When my Mom died, a grief counselor (a woman) came and guided the daughters (five of us) to bathe Mom's body, wash her hair and put her into a clean gown, and wrap her in a blanket before the funeral home people put her body in a velvet covering to take her. As we washed her hands the counselor reminded us of how many times those hands had caressed us, made food for us, cleaned for us. As we washed her feet we remembered all the steps she walked in her life, so many times to walk for us. We combed her hair and dried it and curled it the way she liked. She washed her face and remembered all the smiles and tears. We gathered her favorite make-up and her prettiest gown to send with her so she would look her best for the service. It was the last hour we spent with her and it is a precious, precious memory.

What other deathlings are watching ?

I feel the fact that Caitlin's funeral home in California is a non-profit is testament to her true dedication to supporting the loved ones of the deceased.

When my daughter died and I asked to see her, the drs and nurses said “oh, you don’t want to do that” as if I was crazy or ghoulish. I still, 46 years later, am ashamed that I was not strong enough to insist.

When my dad died I was 17, and he died close to christmas at home, so there was a whole load of snow and the roads were blocked so the hospital couldn't pick him up. I remember my mum spending the first night with him, and cleaning him up as the inevitable deterioration kicked in. And how much peace it gave her, and how much pain we all felt when he was taken away. I described this to a friend a couple of months later and he said it was really weird and something I shouldn't tell people and I've kept this guilt over it for years. And now I don't have to feel guilty...I don't have to feel weird. Thank you.

when my baby died, as soon as his body left the hospital morgue and went to the funeral home I went and held him for hours and kissed his little head, I told stories and cried. I went in every day till the day he was cremated. I dressed him, wrapped him in a baby blanket and placed him in his casket. I put 2 teddies in to keep him company, I also put a letter in there that I had wrote and a photo of me and his dad. I couldn't put my baby to bed so I put him in his final resting place. I also spent the morning holding him before his funeral. everyone said don't do it but I had to. I still remember the smell of the cold room he was in and the smell of his body starting to release his body oils, I still kissed his head anyway. im so gratful I could do that for my son. I had to not be selfish and do it because im his mum. it hurt so bad but im proud of myself. I am bawling my eyes out remembering though

This woman’s YouTube channel is one of the most fascinating and informative I’ve ever watched. Love her

When my infant son died, I marveled at his whole body after he passed. Even at his funeral, I couldn't keep my hands off him. I loved him so much I just had to touch him. I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to wash his body and dress him and take photos of him to hold forever. I probably would have thought it was strange, too, before it happened to me.

My wife’s mother was killed in a car crash in Utah, on New Year’s Day in 2011. I joined my wife and her five sisters as they gathered at the mortuary the day before the funeral. They brought their mother’s makeup and curling irons and jewelry. They spent several hours preparing their mother for the funeral the next day. I watched them cry and mourn, and it morphed into laughter and relating happy memories and childhood stories. It was a truly healing event that brought them closer than ever. It was exactly what their mother would want for her daughters. It was not scary or weird in any way. It was a wonderful tribute, and their mother looked beautiful. Truly as if she were simply sleeping. It’s a shame this isn’t encouraged in the US.

My mother took care of me on my first days and so will I take care of her in her last days This got me

are we really going to ignore how insanely shiny and beautiful her hair is ?

I haven't taken care of a dead relative at this point in my life yet but I am a nurse. I have cared for numerous bodies in the hospital preparing them for their trip to the morgue so a funeral director could take them. I always considered it an honor to wash them (and no matter how much fluid leaked I kept cleaning or suctioning until they were spotless), an honor to remove a breathing tube, feeding tubes, IVs, catheters etc. I always talked to the body too, "we are going to roll you over" "almost done" "let's get this thing out of you, that's better" etc. I have my own beliefs and faith but I acknowledge I don't really know what happens when we die, but if a part of our consciousness is left I feel I owe it to that soul to respect their dignity at the end. Much love to Caitlin Doughty. I now know I am going to ask to care for my parents when they die if they are interested in that.

Some might think this is a bad comparison. But when I was little, my dog was put down and I really wanted to be there to say goodbye to him. But my mother, because SHE was afraid of death, didn't let me go. And I'll never stop imagining him on that cold metal table all alone. I should have been there. I won't ever again miss the chance to send a loved one, human or animal, on to the next life.

Did you guys feel that sudden heavy emotion when she started talking about her mother?

"When I was a child my mother took care of me everyday. And when she dies, you better believe in gonna take care of her"

Caitlin's channel is called Ask A Mortician and she is an excellent educator, storyteller and content creator. She has changed the way I view death in a very positive way.

My mom died last Monday. I found this video healing. Thank you.