Quiet Confidence: Make People Respect You Without Trying

My shower curtain is going to be so impressed

Being quiet gives you more opportunity to notices the little details in other people. 👌

1) Speak with your hands, boomerang eye contact, mid sentence pauses
2) Give praise to others
3) Relaxed and confident body language
4) Be non reactive

It really helps if you can be casual about social interaction. There's no reason to be fearful. Just know you've been doing this since birth and nothing has killed you yet. You've got this. Don't doubt your own Competence.

I just imagined Keanu speaking without the hand gestures and realized that the hand gestures make ALL the difference. They're his way of being loud and animated without speaking up.

As a quiet person myself, I've noticed that when I do actually speak up, people tend to listen more. I think it's because being on the quiet side, it makes people wonder more what's on your mind so they listen. It makes for the perfect opportunity to impress, make laugh, or get whatever point across that you want. Being non-reactive is another one. Never give someone the reaction they are trying to get out of you. It's almost like bait.

I've always been a quiet person. Call it shy, or reserved, or socially anxious or whatever but that's always been me. when I was 14 and first got to highschool my mom considered putting me into counselling because I wasn't able to put myself "out there" well enough to make friends, although I eventually met the people who are still my best friends today. I'm 28 now, and in the past 10 or more years, I've come a long way. People consider me highly charismatic and approachable, and I believe a part of my newfound charisma is owing to the fact that I discovered all of the "tips" in this video on my own through trial and error. I do all of the things in this video, and while yes, the super loud extroverts CAN still overshadow me because they "need" to be heard; while I'm speaking, people tend to listen. It's a good feeling.

My two (out of 3) friends always interrupt me mid-sentence to talk about something they like. This normally doesn’t bug me, but this happens EVERY time I start to talk about something. I feel like they probably find my sharing boring, and it hurts. It hurts that even though I listen intently with a grin about their stories of God of War’s entire plot (for reference, I was telling my friend about an interesting thing that happened in a video game I was playing and he somehow tied it to something Kratos could do in God of War and proceeded to tell me for the 70th time how unstoppable Kratos is before reciting the story like it was scripture), what they did in VR, their vaguely exciting events that happened while they were at work, or a simple meme, they are unable to listen about the thought, time, heart, and research I put into making a character for a short story in my grade 12 English course, my progress learning a 6 minute piece on piano (with no previous skill), something I learned while hiking or snowboarding, or an accomplishment in a video game.

Every time, without fail, they interrupt me to talk about something else and I just listen. I comment a couples times to let them know I’m listening and engaged, but nothing more than that, and it hurts; am I really just that uninteresting, or do they simply not care?

I know this isn’t very relevant to the video, but please, if someone is talking about something you don’t find interesting, I ask you to act interested listen anyway. Even though you don’t find it interesting, they do. They wanted to share it with someone, and they chose to share it with you, so please be respectful and show that you care by listening to what they have to say. I’m sorry for ranting, but the video brought this to my attention and I began crying. Then I realized there are probably others who go through this minor thing as well, so I wanted to write this. I didn’t intend for it to be this long, and I’m sorry. If anyone actually reads this, I humbly thank you from the bottom of my 17-year-old heart.

quiet people can often do this better than loud ones, choosing your words wisely and remaining calm can make all the difference

Just to test my working memory:
1) Speak with your hands, boomerang eye contact, mid sentence pauses
2) Give praise to others
3) Relaxed and confident body language
4) Be non reactive

I learned this while working retail. People have a tendency to react wildly, but I will always remain calm. I don't care if they threaten me. I'll stand still, and let them have their moments of anger. The best weapon is patience. Let them have their moment, and then strike back with common sense

Never assume that loud is strong, and quiet is weak. The fiercest storms rise from the calmest." - Tommy Shelby

Sometimes I realize a conversation with certain people isn't worth trying to be a part of. Even if what I have to say is interesting or relevant.

Being unresponsive has yet another advantage in terms of social dynamics: it gives you time to come up with a more calibrated and proper response. Immediate responses are mostly conveigned by our amigdalas, the emotional core of the brain. If you can calm it down long enough, your frontal lobes can then take over, and you're probably have a rational more sensible solution to whatever is happening to you right now.

This is tremendously helpful. This entire time I've been my quiet non-Keanu Reeves, non-Chris Hemsworth self, and people haven't listened to me. In the future I will be Keanu Reeves and/or Chris Hemsworth and see if people treat me differently. Such practical info, easily applicable to my life.

But seriously, sharing credit might be viewed favorably when you're already on top of the world and people see you as a megastar. At that point, you can afford to share all the credit you want - all eyes are already on you. For us serfs, "sharing credit" often means that people continue to step all over you and you get ZERO recognition.

Our 'female side of the family' is considerably louder, so my dad always raises his hand, or makes the pause 'T-sign' with his hands if he wants to talk and it definitely draws attention to him.

My father was brilliant at non-reaction when people were upset. The more agitated they were the calmer he was. It would in turn send them into a frenzy and they would end up off-kilter allowing him to prevail every time. It was amazing to see.

edit: In fact, it's occurring to me why he was such a well-respected and perfect personality for law enforcement. If you don't have cool calm confidence, don't enter law enforcement.

I have found that being quiet, but standing my ground and staying consistent with my beliefs/morals has also helped with demanding respect. Its almost a quiet confidence that is exuded from you vs the loud and chaotic type if that makes sense?

LOVE hearing Keanu say "I don't do stunts, I do action, as much action as I can. Stunt people do stunts. I don't get hit by a car."

As far as "you know who," we all know she doth protest too much. And she's a perfect example of how talking doesn't instantly translate into respect.

Also, don't zone out mid conversation because you draw back to your inner thoughts. Try to be active and responsive. I always start off as the shy guy but regain my self confidence throwout the conversation simply by being more active and responsive.