Enter You Bad B*tch Era! - STOP Being A "Nice Girl" & Make Anyone RESPECT YOU | Evy Poumpouras
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Published 2020-10-14
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On Today's Episode:
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This episode is brought to you by Evy's new course Becoming Bulletproof: How To Read People And Detect Deception. Go to bit.ly/2ZW6QiG to learn more.
Do you find yourself being spoken down to, disrespected, or repeatedly walked on by others? Do you later wish you had spoken up for yourself and had a confident presence that commanded respect? On this episode of Women of Impact, Former Secret Service Agent and Author Evy Poumpouras sits down with Lisa Bilyeu to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to handle disrespect and stick up for yourself in all situations. They talk about how to defend yourself in a non-physical way, the power of self control, how to walk away from people in your life that need to be let go, how to deal with being spoken down to, and personality red flags to watch out for.
Purchase Evy’s book, “Becoming Bulletproof”: www.amazon.com/Becoming-Bulletproof-Influence-Situ…
SHOW NOTES:
Handling Disrespect | Evy shares a story of handling disrespect as a secret service agent. [2:57]
Defend Yourself | Evy reveals the importance of defending yourself in a non-violent way. [7:02]
Self Control | Evy discusses the elements needed to non-physically stand up for yourself. [7:24]
Common Denominator | Evy shares her story of recognizing and owning her temper. [8:56]
Trust | Evy describes conditional and unconditional trust and our emotional responses. [11:18]
Own Your Response | Evy shares the power of owning how you respond to situations. [14:37]
Walk Away | Evy shares when to know it’s time to walk away from someone. [19:38]
Phones | Evy shares why you should be open with your phone in a relationship. [20:22]
Jealousy | Lisa discusses handling jealousy in her relationship with Tom. [22:42]
Starts With Trust | Evy reveals how to handle the fine line of jealousy in a relationship. [24:03]
Size Doesn’t Matter | Evy discusses the importance of how you carry yourself. [27:00]
Persona Red Flags | Evy discusses the two types of personas to watch out for. [31:20]
Being Spoken Down To | Evy and Lisa discuss how to handle being spoken down to. [33:50]
Letting Go | Evy discusses her process of letting someone go and moving on. [38:47]
Connect | Evy shares how to connect with her and follow her. [40:56]
QUOTES:
“You’re not going to own my response to you, I’m going to own it.” [16:39]
“You get what you tolerate.” [18:56]
“My success in standing my ground wasn’t really about my physical strength, it was about my mental conviction. I had to speak with confidence to make sure those who heard my message, heard it clearly the first time and when I did act, I had to do it so in a way that assured it would not be mistaken for weak or uncertain of my abilities." [27:05]
Photo Credit: Peter Hurley
FOLLOW LISA BILYEU:
Instagram: bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: spoti.fi/2IEajGW
FOLLOW EVY:
Website: evypoumpouras.com/
Instagram: instagram.com/evypoumpouras/
Facebook: facebook.com/evypoumpouras
Twitter: twitter.com/evypoumpouras
All Comments (21)
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Women need THIS type of advice, instead of '5 reasons why he is pulling away and what you can do to win him back' 😂
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I had a supervisor give me a hard time in front of my techs at work. Basically said I wasn't a team player because I wouldn't work every extra shift they sent my way. I had two small kids, I had other priorities. I asked the other pharmacist to take over and asked him to the back storage room. I told him calmly that I am a team player every time I show up for my shift and do my job above and beyond what is required of me during that shift. I am not responsible for everyone else's shifts. I help out my partners in the store if they need coverage but I am not going to be guilted into saying yes to more hours than I agreed to and the next time he has to say something to me, I would appreciate the courtesy of the privacy I just gave him. He apologized and I was so proud of myself!
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People don't want you to defend yourself. It took me years to get a back bone and defend myself. I stopped caring about how others feel more and care more about myself. If you put yourself last, you will always be last. I got tired of being last.
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When you stop caring what other people think, is when you can truly be yourself.
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I was a people pleaser until I got cancer. Than I realized people don't really care. Until then I thought I had the best friends and family in the world and I was doing everything (even at my own expense) to please them because I thought that's what I should do. Now I learned (the hard way) that I am keeping myself alive and I am my own best friend. I respect myself a lot more. 2023: UPDATE I just wanted to give an update after 2 years now, thank you for all your comments, I've read them all through this time as they kept coming, every single one was much appreciated. Today, I am doing good! I've finished all of my cancer treatments, I moved from the city to the countryside and I got married! What I wanted to say to every single good soul reading this is - never lose hope. Sometimes my life felt like a huge disaster, there were some seriously hard times, but I just kept on living day by day until it got better. If I could give one advice from all of this painful experience, it's that in order to live your life peacefully and to be healthy, you NEED to cut some friends and even family members from your life. I'm sure you know who that is in your life. I fought against having to make that decision, because I was a huge people pleaser, but cutting those people out truly saved me. That is the ONLY way. They will never stop draining you, until YOU stop them by walking away. Now I have couple of friends and family members that appreciate me and vice versa, and that is more than enough. I could finally concentrate on myself and starting my own family. That's when my life started getting better. I hope this update brings you hope and I pray for every one of you!
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My most important lesson so far is " 'No' is a complete sentence."
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I am crying watching this……for 45 yrs my husband has belittled & degraded me…. I just am happy to find you both. You have saved my life…I was so close to just leaving this earth. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH 🙏💪🏻🥰
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Don't mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness. 👍
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"When you avoid conflict, you don't know what to do when real conflict shows up" #recoveringpeoplepleaser
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She’s right... as you grow your circle should be smaller. Not everyone is your friend or cares about your issues.
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When I spoke up for myself respectfully I was called the "Angry Black Woman .... thank you for this video. I will continue standing up for me. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Thank you
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I had the same realization about, "Why am I fighting with everyone to try and convince them of my truth." It was a life changing moment for me, because I answered with, "I want them to just finally let me be right about my own truth for once." And my next question was, "Ok.. THEN what..? If I finally get that moment from my family.. then what." Because it doesn't fix anything. It makes no difference. We have to he able to validate ourselves and stop seeking it from outside sources.
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Ladies, don't wait until your 40s to grow a spine. I lost many years to steamrollers. You are valuable and matter!
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I once read a quote that went like this; “beauty is dangerous, but intelligence is lethal”. I wish more women would apply this into their lives.
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“Are you under the impression I allow people to speak to me this way, or are you asking me to make an exception for you?” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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My daughter always defended herself from bully friends and teachers.She was punished for her behaviour but she stood her ground.I offer told her be nice for your own good.I am glad that she didn’t took my advice.I realised that she knows her boundaries and she will not let anyone to cross it.I wish I was like her it would saved me from many headaches in my life.
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"Everybody at the end of the day is looking out for their self interest" All empaths out there need to hear this once again.
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It took 30 years and a global pandemic but I finally realized I didn't need friends or family...as much as self respect and boundaries. People treat you as nothing but a doormat if you are too tender hearted.
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That's exactly what I did and now everyone is shocked!😀 I love to surprise people when they underestimate me.
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It’s really hard, especially when you grow up and realize you never really had anyone to show you how to do these things, thanks for this.
