Why People With ADHD Struggle to remember Things

Ok, the irony…I was busy finishing my chapter for the book called “How to Remember Stuff”) and forgot my vlog about this was posting today 🤦‍♀ On the bright side, the chapter is looking REALLY good. …I just need to write out the toolbox section before I forget…

Important to note that memory issues can lead us to be mistreated. It was super easy for others to gaslight me since I was used to relying on others for an "accurate" record of events.

One reason I had trouble getting diagnosed is that when I saw the psychiatrist, I couldn’t remember the things I wanted to talk about, so I just came across as generally okay.

"It must not have been important if you forgot it" honestly hits hard. I wish people understood that it's not done intentionally...

Literally teared up when you were talking about how forgetting things impacted your life. I remember many times when people have shamed me for forgetting important things. It made me think to myself, "How could i do this? Why can't I just remember things like everyone else?". My whole life Iv'e felt so horrible and ashamed that my memory is so bad and i felt i just wasn't good enough. Thank you for helping me feel not so alone :)

The most intimidating thing about the memory issues for me is that you never know what you're going to forget.

"It obviously wasn't that important to you, since you forgot" is a refrain I hear constantly and it honestly, truly made me question myself a lot over the course of my life. "Gee, I guess they're right, if it was REALLY important I wouldn't have forgotten this. I...guess I don't actually care about this thing."

The part where «You would remember if it was important» hit me really hard. I get scorned because I need to write stuff down, because it doesn’t look like I’m paying attention. And I sometimes focus so much on writing important stuff down that I forget to contribute to the conversation. But I am getting better at being shameless about it. Thank you for talking about it!

The bit about needing to write a thought down so that you no longer have to hold it, that hit because it really be like that. I've been trained my whole life not to interrupt people which means I often lose the thing I wanted to say. Instead I cling onto the thought waiting for my turn to say it, but that comes at the cost of being present for what's being said by the other person.

My mother always gets mad when I don't remember, and tells me I need to start remembering. Even knowing that my ADHD causes this, my mom just calls it an excuse. It's so hard and even when I set a note for myself, I'll forget to look at the note! It's so annoying. I agree with having the forgetfulness being the worst part of my ADHD too.

To me its not necessarily the forgetting stuff that impacts me most, but the stress of always feeling like there is SO much TO remember and the fear of forgetting. Always chasing my own tail. It's tiring.

Forgetting intimate details of my loved ones' lives is the worst feeling. And... I forgot the rest of the brilliant point I was about to make... The struggle is so dang real.

I almost cried in this video. My memory is something I have been ashamed of for so long. Forgetting names of people and places has been so damaging - to others as well as myself. I'm constantly battling myself to not interrupt people for the exact thing you described. That is literally what it is like. I can't even express how this made me feel. Knowing that there is someone who can put into words let alone understand. Thank you.

One upside of ADHD for me is that because I'm so forgetful, I'm very forgiving when other people forget, and I don't take it personally. If a friend takes three months (or three years) to return an email, no sweat, because I forgot about my email ~fifteen minutes after I sent it. So when they do reply, it's a happy surprise for me!

Memory is my #1 struggle as someone with ADHD. I forget things that people just told me, I forget birthdays, I forget to eat, I forget to write in my notebook, I forget that I made plans with Jessica later this week, I forgot that I signed up for that new workout thing, I forget to pay my bills, I forget some of my most important and life altering memories.

When I was a kid, my parents always told me since I forgot it was that I just did not care about so many things. But over time they found out about my ADHD forgetfulness and have come around to it. I hate forgetting, even when I am looking for my car keys when they are in my hand!

One thing I've been thinking about lately—which I don't think I've heard anyone in the ADHD space ever mention before, but it's something I've noticed often enough with many ADHDers—is how hard it can be to speak without interruptions in your speech. By this, I mean that often we'll pause as we try to remember the next word we were gonna say, like "Hey, I'm gonna go to the, uh...grocery store, to get...err, milk." It can make holding a conversation both challenging and embarrassing, which is why I much prefer communicating via text rather than voice. To me this is related to a lack of working memory, but I've never heard anyone talk about this issue while discussing the subject. Have any of your colleagues done any research or posted any videos on this?

Forgetting a coworker's name when I have been working with them for ages is definitely something that happens to me way tooo often. I literally say peoples names in my head when I walk by them in the hall to remind myself constantly

So much of my anxiety comes from worrying about WHAT IM FORGETTING 😩

I don’t always equate “forgetting” with “can’t remember”. Forgetting to take the trash out on a Monday, for me, isn’t the same as my inability to remember a new process. Both are incredibly frustrating and debilitating and don’t help with other associated mental health issues.