Say This To Get Your Baby or Toddler To Listen & Behave (Without Yelling)

This is good advice for all ages, even teenagers! As teacher my simple behaviour rules are: 1) Model good behaviour. If you want kid to say please and thank you, make sure you say it to them as standard, if you don't want them to get angry and yell, then learn to manage your own anger and frustration, if you don't want them to ignore you when they are on device/screen, don't ignore them when you're on your device. 2) Reward good behaviour. Smile, give them thumbs up, give some kind of positive feedback when they are doing things well. We tend to ignore kids when they are being 'good', eg playing quietly. 3) Don't reward bad behaviour. We most often do this by getting upset and raising our voice, and generally giving a lot of attention. In the classroom if you calmly ignore the kids mucking up and give lots of positive rewards to the kids behaving well you get a lot further, a lot quicker, than if you pay attention to 'naughty' kids and try to tell them to stop. It's hard because it's counter-intuitive, but it works.

I work in daycare with infants but sometimes I have toddlers. What I have noticed is that teachers and parents will notice when a child is doing something they shouldn't be doing and fuss at the child but they don't say anything when the child is behaving. Like praise them. So, it's often the case where a child will do something they aren't supposed to do just to be acknowledged because it's attention. Children want attention and far too often , they will misbehave just to get that negative attention because negative attention is still attention.

Teach a child in the way that they should go and they will never depart from it….teaching them the RIGHT way means they will always do the right things but focusing on the bad behavior and never giving wisdom will teach the child the wrong way while they grow up confused and not able to trust us….thank you for your wisdom!!!

This makes so much sense. When ever my daughter hits me I yell no and she just smiles and continues to hit. This was very helpful, thank you.

Iam a Granmaw and I’m watching this at my age .lol I see now why Grandparents are the ones to get thru to the children and calm them down .I think it’s because we are selves are calmer .When my children were young I was always doing ten things at once ,I responded faster thinking I would prevent the episode,I would yell more .I find myself calmer now because I’m not under all the stress I had back then .Now I’m patient with the grandkids .Iam able to talk calmer and not jump up with quick responses .I guess it gets better with age .Itell my daughter ,just calm don’t ,don’t yell ,don’t react negative and she’s only copping what I did .So ,I think this is a great video for new mom or moms just looking for better skills .Thank you

Omg I love this video! For a little while now if my baby hits I say “We are gentle” and stroke her arm. Now when I say gentle she has just started saying it too and stroking her own arm! It provides her the distraction and she loves being able to do it too. Thank you for this video!

Only paying attention to a child when they misbehave reinforces the bad behavior because they learn to seek out the negative reward of your attention. I totally agree with this video, a calm and neutral voice is so powerful, guide by example not only by words and the child will follow. No matter how young, it’s never too early to create healthy communication and habits, a grown adult seeking negative reward is a terrible prospect, they will suffer in many aspects of life. Thank you for sharing this!

My son loves throwing blocks especially seeing the reaction when it hits us lol now i used to say no throwing but he found this funny...his only 2 lol so now i put the blocks away when he starts n i take them out once he has calmed down. I do actually say play nicely and no throwing whilst putting them away because i think its important for him to know no throwing is allowed and he will associate the no throwing n seeing me putting them away so he knows for next time. It is working....

Asking for what you want is one of the most effective ways to improve children’s behaviour, great advice.

Two years ago I had just gotten my puppy and would watch videos that explained how much further you can get with positive reinforcement, now I'm here watching for the benefit of my 3m twins and it's the same principles. ❤️

I love how you’ve stayed so genuine and open and vulnerable throughout the years. It’s such a pleasure to share your family’s experiences and watch it grow! Always brings a smile to my face watching your videos ❤

Such good advice, Emma! Sometimes I feel like a broken record around my son "no, no, no, no". I will definitely be taking a different approach from now on!

Excellent advice. Not for just children but relating with other adults state what you want not what you don’t want.

Your channel is awesome! Thank you so much for all your hard work! From tracking my baby's growth in my tummy to now dealing with the toddler attitude almost 2 years later, you have given me so much helpful advice and encouragement, ideas, and knowledge. Thank you!!

Hello Emma, Thanks for your efforts to teach parents how to be better at parenting.

You always make me feel so confident in my parenting choices! Thank you!

For the most part, I have adapted the approach of telling my toddler what he can do as opposed to what he cannot do. The problem is that for some actions, there is no alternative. For example, if he is trying to touch the stove, there is no alternative to that. The bottom line is that he cannot touch the stove.I’ll try to distract him with something, but he becomes locked in on the stove until I say “no”. Side note: he understands the concept of hot. He doesn’t touch the oven when it’s on. But he does try to play with the nobs when it is off.

Thanks, Emma. Another great video at the perfect time. I always look forward to what advice you will share next.

Great video! I dont yell at my child but I do become more animated when I am trying to divert her attention when she is making a mess. I noticed that if I say to not do something she does it. I figured she doesn't understand but I wasn't sure how to address these problems when they come up. Telling them what to so makes so much sense. Thanks!

I love this so many people give advice telling me to say no and be more aggressive about it like Louder and make a stern face and that has made my son laugh and he doesn't stop so I've no learned what to actually do, plus I learned that people give stupid advice on things they know nothing about and have never tried to learn. My husband and my grandma!