Why does the narcissist LOVE the "COOL GIRL"?

I think the "cool girl" was born by narcissistic men critizicing women for wanting respect and love. Because I remember being called neurotic, needy, crazy etc. Just for wanting respect and love. 😢

A lot of “cool girls” present as strong, but they have no boundaries, people please, and do as they’re told. Narc paradise.

"I don't like drama" on a dating profile = "I can't handle being called out for my narcissistic behaviors"

I believe the cool girl grew up in chaos & she just wants to keep the peace. She's not good at confronting ppl about their behavior. It even takes her a while to realize she's being disrespected. She just thinks that some ppl just don't know any better. She's angry inside & eventually she blows up & everyone looks surprised. They thought she was so nice, until she loses it. We all get tired of their detestable behaviors!!!

Low maintenance, setting the bar low, chill, cool girl. Abusive men look for pre-abused women without a strong sense of self defense and without a healthy, protective family or friend group. Then they isolate her.

It's exhausting trying to be cool with a Narcissist. The body starts to rebel with rashes, weight loss, sudden attacks of nausea, anxiety, insomnia.... Until you learn this is toxic .

As a former “cool girl” I can attest that narcissists both rewarded that behaviour and shamed me if I didn’t just roll with the punches

I think many of us have gone through the 'cool girl' phase, thinking it would keep the man, but then realised it never got us anywhere. I shudder at the things I previously tolerated all because I didn't want to make a fuss.

I'd be willing to bet that behind a good many "cool girls" is a narcissistic parent who taught them early that having healthy expectations of others' behavior and consideration for them was selfish.

"THey want a girl who likes every effing thing they like and never complains"--the Cool Girl monologue from Gone Girl.

Basically why men look for much younger partners

I've always been the cool girl. I ended up chronically ill.

He LITERALLY said he valued me because “you don’t hold long-term grudges, only short-term ones” and “even when I disappear, you have me back”. The SECOND I cut the cool girl act and asked for clarification about the relationship, he was out of there.

I find that “cool girl” is a more complimentary term for “doormat”. This was the dynamic my parents had. Everyone absolutely loved my mother. She was bubbly, sweet, and fun. And dare I say, probably “cool” to a lot of people. Behind the scenes, she walked on egg shells around my verbally abusive and sadistically cruel father. I’m so glad I found this channel and finally understand the dynamic.

„The opposite of cool is warm, the loveliest thing a person could be.“. What a great sentence ❤

I was a cool girl and was raised by a narcissist mom who molded me into someone who will excuse everything she did and not raising my voice and calling her out. When I learned in therapy that my mom's a narcissist and I was allowed to have needs, my self centered then boyfriend was freaking out because I was suddenly "uncomfortable and mean and selfish and yelling and a psychopathic maniac", judging by his reality, while my therapist was laid back and proud of me to finally get angry and confronted both with their bullying and gaining my voice back. Boy, both hated it and I was sued by mom and I had to pay her lawyers fee after she died,.. If you regain your voice, be prepared for starting a war!!

Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you—to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.

Narcissists SHOP for their victims. They align themselves to their victims. They watch and ask questions, then appear to have the same things in common. It is very important to not listen but OBSERVE the shark before you are consumed.

One time he was so proud of me, he said because I had finally learned to “control my emotions.” I was applauded for becoming his puppet, 4years and I had completely lost myself and senses. This helped me realize how disgusted he made me feel deep down

When Narcissistic men say they want a woman to "be my peace" he is basically saying he wants the "cool girl"... wish I had not fallen for that so many times