13 Signs You're Dating a 'Nice Guy' Narcissist | Covert Narcissism traits

You're describing 100% of my current husband. Because he is so nice and loved by most people, I often doubt if he actually is a narcissist. But when he is mean, he can be so dismissive and cruel , no empathy at all. It's almost like there is a different person who lives inside this "nice guy"'s body

1. Excessive Flattery 2. Charming Persona 3. Grandiose Identity 4. Inconsistent Behavior 5. Manipulative Niceness 6. Validation from Others 7. Martyr Complex 8. Inability to Handle Criticism 9. Gaslighting Tendencies 10. Boundary Violation 11. Triangulation 12. Narcissistic Rage 13. Conditional Love

My ex was all of these signs. He treated strangers way better than he did me. I use to feel so disrespected & over time became very insecure, confused, just bad about myself

What is terrible is the time they steal. So much time.

This is when the phrase, "behind closed doors", is highly significant. Many victims and abused peoples are often deemed "crazy" or "the problem".

Almost 8 years free from my nice guy narcissist, and I still need videos like these to help me not feel like I am crazy.

You will be treated like gold for months. Everything is hot and heavy - you found the perfect partner who is attentive, affectionate and passionate. The first red flag is they keep sharing their own stories (non stop blabbing from their aide) and don’t seem to be too interested in what’s going on in your life. The convos always switch back to what’s going on with them. Suddenly there is a switch and they are indifferent. For NO reason. There was no argument, no fight - in fact, the night before might have been one of your best nights together. After that switch, they will never ever come back to normal. You will be faced with constant silent treatment. You will be walking on eggshells. The minute you corner them and ask them what the hell is going on - you will be stonewalled. They gain power this way. You will be CONFUSED af. You will do everything you can to have the “old” them back, because you don’t like this new version. What you need to realize is the “old” version never existed. It was a complete lie and act - learned from friends, movies etc. It was a character made just for you - it’s no surprise you had a lot in common and now suddenly you don’t. The person you fell in love with completely disappeared, they are ghost. It is absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. All you see is the same body without the same soul. The more frustrated they see you - the more the run and push you away because they don’t want you to see that it was all a mask. Affection is out the window at this point. They can barely kiss or hold hands, but when earlier you were on their lap 247. The real them came out and the mask is off - they hate any from of emotion or love because they are not capable of it. You will be faced with constant gaslighting and they will try to distort your reality so you don’t see them for who they really are. You need to run like the wind - this relationship only makes you destroyed. Their friends don’t know.. for the covert ones - only their romantic relationship partners can figure it out. Because they are so careful with their image, it’s all about perception management. And one day… after all the cognitive dissonance and sleepless nights and feeling sick to your stomach.. you open YouTube and it’s a door to all your answers. You are well with a narcissistic psychopath that has no feelings. Leave and never look back. Additionally, Metaspyhub@gmail. com is a company that is ideal if you need to be able to confront a cheating spouse because they have some of the most advanced features in the industry.

This was my ex-boyfriend to a T. The worst part about it was that when I dumped him, I lost friends and people turned on me. "How could you break up with him? He was so kind and nice!" You didn't date him, OK? He was only kind and nice when it suited him.

When the nice guy makes you feel like you're very selfish and over-entitled just because you have simple wants, intimacy, closeness, needs, or concerns. With any inch of communication you give, they give you an entire mile of distance to walk it while they are continuing to tend to their self validation needs like it's some obsession or drug. Then comes the tidal wave of "oh you're being too dramatic" or "oh my gosh you always have sudden outbursts" in order to gaslight you into believing that you're "too extreme" or "intense" when approaching any issues. And then get called "you're too thirsty" or something ridiculous like that when you're simply seeking at least an ounce of physical affection all after you having been made used to the physical affection exclusively during the love bombing stage. I think one of the best analogies to this is, "They fill you to the brim and then starve you once they get what they wanted. They make you happy with scraps, but the scraps are only readily used for keeping you on the leash."

You just described everything about my husband of 37years. It took me so long to figure this out and finally wake up to what was happening. He is a super nice guy and very involved in the church and all of his commitments to the church always took priority over me and my needs. He is such a do gooder that I felt selfish for having any needs. It turned out to be a very lonely unhappy, unfulfilled life. I finally left him 3weeks ago. Now I am facing a lot of opposition from my children because he has brainwashed them and they just don't understand what I have been through. I have tried to explain but they just don't get it. Hopefully in time they will understand and I won't be looked upon as the bad guy who broke up the family. 😢

This describes my ex so well.... I realized after getting away that anytime someone was nice to me i worried they they were trying to manipulate me into letting my guard down. It was rough... I've since healed enough to realize there's genuinely nice people out there but I'm only to the point where as long as i keep them at arms length i can feel safe. Nice guy narcissists really do the most damage imo cause it makes you not be able to trust basic human decency...

I just had a terrible break up with a guy like this 2 weeks before my 29th birthday. It was the most traumatic experience because I told my entire family that he was the one. Only to find that I had become romantically involved with another narcissist. Thank God that relationship only lasted 8 months 🙏🏽

My advice to women as a non-narcissist guy that's dealt with many male narcissists; figure it out sooner what you're dealing with. To do that ask straight questions right away and look him right in the eye. Do you want a family? Do you just view me as an object? What is the longterm plan here? Do you have debt? Are you stable? Have you ever cheated on a partner? (Yes you should ask these questions, a good guy will have no problem answering). Don't be ashamed about being open. If he's worth your time he'll be honest and straight questions will be met with honesty and appreciation. If he's not worth your time he'll dodge questions, repeatedly change the subject, manipulate and deceive. Don't confuse nervousness for deception, if he's a good guy he could be nervous so you might not get exactly the answer you're looking for, so you have to be patient like a caring partner would be. But you'll know, if you maintain eye contact, if it's nervousness or if he's running a scheme in his head to manipulate you. If your question doesn't get answered say that it wasn't answered and ask it again, nicely. The longer you wait to find out the harder it will be. If you try to be direct and you're not sure if you're being manipulated you're almost certainly being manipulated. The sooner you do this the better, don't let him charm you, just look straight at him. Don't be mean or anything but stick up for yourself. An honest man will gravitate towards you when you do that, a dishonest man will not be able to hide himself if you are direct.

This is the best description of my ex-husband I've found. He would always say "But, I'm a nice guy". He was and still is a monster.

Even being friends with the "nice guy" is the WORST. They are THE WORST. In retrospect, UNBEARABLE.. SUCH a GOOD video..

What’s even scarier is if they are well known but deep down nobody really knows who they are in real life. People will have a “nice” view of them. They’ll manipulate the story about you to fit their public image. Be careful! They are out for blood, especially if you reject the “nice” guy.

You just described my ex to an absolute. So many people think he could do no harm (I thought so for a long time) - comes across as an incredibly warm, helpful person but it was just to get me reliant on him. Grooming stuff. The cognitive dissonance made it so hard to leave. Acted like my hero while hurting me - it was the most confusing thing ever? When I found out who he actually was and what he was doing behind closed doors I was devastated:/

Wow! This really hits home! The cognitive dissonance in a relationship with someone like this is mentally destructive. The lack of authentic relating is mind scrambling. My mother and my last partner displayed these traits. I find myself highly suspect of "nice" behavior as a result of these relationships. Thanks for the clarity!

I thought I was a bit of an expert in narcissism , until I met the nice guy narc, it was soooo confusing / traumatic. Brilliant video.

Oh god. Finally someone covered this type of narcissism. This was exactly, word by word, my experience :(