Why We Won't Raise Our Kids in Suburbia

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A four year old in Japan has more independence than a fifteen year old in America.

Not to mention the soul-crushing guilt you feel when you ask your mom to drive you to a friend's house, only to overhear her complaining about how annoying it is later. It definitely gave me a complex about asking other people to do things for me.

"If kids cannot ride bike to school, I'm not having a kid there" should be a rule of thumb for everyone.

This is a big part of why there is such a huge mental health crisis among American youth. A whole couple generations now have been raised in sterile isolated environments where they’re completely dependent on the parent bc they have zero independence and overuse technology as a replacement for social interaction and entertainment bc that’s all they have. The consequences are severe and they are showing. On top of that the economy and price of college has made it so that it’s nearly impossible to become financially independent until your mid to late 20’s in many places. There will be no young adults with purchasing power, only abused sheltered suicidal teens and kids and the economy and society will feel that impact increasingly as the years progress. Children are constantly monitored and controlled here to the point that healthy social and physical development is impossible. Covid just threw gasoline on this dumpster fire too.

We literally live in a society that does not want children to go outdoors but at the same time hate each other for being "coddled".

This video gets at part of why the ‘college experience’ is so romanticized in the US. Kids haven’t been independent their whole lives, and when they are it’s mind-boggling.

When I was a kid everybody thought my mom was overprotective because she let me play alone in our fenced in backyard and every few minutes would call out to ask how I was doing to make sure I was okay. 1990s over protection has become 2020s neglect.

I lived in Seoul from birth to 12. I was such an active little kid. I walked to school, swimming lessons, and got on busses and subways to go to malls, theme parks, and other places without parents or adults. I moved with my family to a suburb in Pennsylvania and I hated living there. I couldn't go anywhere without being driven by an adult and even if I had someone to drive me somewhere, there weren't that many places to go. I've lived in the States for more than a decade and I still do not understand the obsession of nothing-ever-happens suburbia in North America. Why do a lot of Americans believe living far away from anything happening is safer and better?

The whole "stranger in a white van" myth is so pervasive and harmful. Speaking as someone who actually was a victim of child abuse - the vast majority of abusers, including kidnappers, are people the children know (parents, teachers, coaches, clergy, etc), not random strangers in vans. And one of the best defences against child abuse is allowing children to be more independent. Kids who are self-assured and confident talking to strangers are more likely to ask someone for help when they need it, and are harder for an abuser to control or manipulate. Raising your kids to be dependent and isolated makes them more vulnerable.

That "sidewalk ends" sign is the distilled essence of how much the cities are made for cars

I was military police for the US Air Force and I got constant calls about kids playing in their own front yards unsupervised. Mind you we were on a small military base, which is an extremely safe place to live due to being the ultimate gated community.

As someone who's lived in the suburbs of America all my life, I can completely agree. I'm almost sixteen, and it's getting boring walking the same path around my neighborhood. I want to be able to explore, but there's nowhere to go.

It's not so much a fear that someone will abduct your child, it's the fear that someone will call the police because they see children walking or playing without an adult. My neighbor was sick, and let her 9 year old walk to school by herself. It takes 4 minutes to walk to school, and we could see the school from our apartments. And someone stopped the girl and called the police. She ended up getting charged with neglect, and had to take a parenting class. It blew my mind, because she was a very loving and responsible person.

I love how they need a sign that says "sidewalk ends". As if we can't see that. As if they're trying to block us from continuing forward.

I'm 15 and have been raised in america all my life. This video hits way too close to home. My house is on a stupid ass 2 lane stroad with no sidewalks where cars constantly go careening by at 30-50mph. I'm lucky enough to be near to a mixed-use establishment that's really nice, however to get there i have to walk in the ditch of my stroad. Hell, I feel like I'm going to get hit by a car when I'm taking trash cans to the street. Whenever someone gets pissy about "children these days never going outside" and doesn't realize why, it kills another 1% of my brain cells. American suburbia is hell on earth. Amendment: Where I live, the requirement to start driving is only 14 years and 9 months. We are at the point where people would rather give 14 year olds giant metal death machines than make american suburbia more livable.

Where I live I literally can’t go anywhere without a car and my parents are extremely overprotective yet they wonder why I spend all my free time watching YouTube and playing video games.

Me growing up in Germany: Getting sent to buy bread, groceries and juice at the age of 8 with my little brother who is only 6. That just seemed so normal to me. That's how we learned about the world around us.

You need to do one on elderly loneliness. Every one says that "You'll want low density when you're older!" but, as someone that has worked with seniors, the happiest seniors were ones that lived in dense walkable communities. E: I also want to add that as seniors grow old they tend to be forgotten, and its easier to forget them when they live in suburban sprawl isolation. I partially grew up in a sprawling car dependent retirement community in Florida (Punta Gorda). I have never seen such horrifying loneliness. Trapped by miles of asphalt with only the hope that a small fragment of the world will come to you because, in your final days, you are unable to come to it. I live in Cleveland now (Lakewood), and the elderly are visibly happier because of their ability to more easily participate in the outside world. They can walk or take public transit to get groceries, go to the park, attend doctor appointments, and most importantly, maintain social connections. My father (76) looks for any excuse to come visit me to enjoy the amenities that density provides. In all his praise for my neighborhood he will in the same breath objurgate "the city" and how he "needs his space". Somewhat Ironic considering that the rural Ohio town we moved from was significantly more walkable. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink, unfortunately. We owe a better world not just to our children but to our elders as they enter old age. If that is not enough to convince you... one day you will be old... that loneliness could be your future.

I don’t live in the US but this is practically my life. I’m one of those “sheltered” kids (i honestly really hate that title). I’m 15 and i’ve never been outside alone. i’ve never crossed the road alone. I’ve never went to a park alone. I’ve never hung out with my friends outside of school. I’ve never even bought ice cream from the store. I’ve never ridden a bike. I think this is one of the many reasons why I have social anxiety today. I get overwhelmed at crowds and I get nervous whenever I talk to strangers. And what’s worse is that most kids where I live have this freedom. most kids at my school have been outside alone, except for me. I’ve always felt so left out and I’m just so angry. my anxiety got so bad that I begged my mom to homeschool me instead. I feel like I’ve been robbed off my teenage years. and now here i am, inside my room, staring at my ipad screen and reading books because i have no friends and i can’t go outside. I’m stuck in this cycle