How Do We Stop Financially Supporting Our Family?

Don't give money to people who treat you poorly. Took me decades and THOUSANDS of dollars to learn this.

My mom did the same to me. She wanted me to support my brothers as well. I said no and until today (10 years ago) I'm still the evil one in the family. I stop caring about it. It was painfully at the beginning but now I'm used to.

My dad stop giving his siblings (families) money in Mexico. Started giving only my grandma money they all took everything and didn’t take care of her. My grandma passed away while everyone around said “we need money for her to be better”. My dad got to see my grandma a week before she passed. Keep your money and don’t talk to people with money drama.

We announced to all our kids that “The Bank of Dad and Mom “ is closed. This worked for everyone

No is absolutely my favorite word. I’ve conditioned my family to not ask me for money.

This happens all the time and majority of the time the family back home as living more luxurious then the person has working themselves into the ground.

if you give family money. they will eventually always just want more. it never works. sad but just gotta put up the boundary and move on with your life.

Sometimes we have to face the sad fact that some people only care about you because of what you can do for them.

Im from South America and if he was my husband I would definitely tell him this has to stop ✋ if he has to support his mom all the siblings should do it as well, period.

While my mom was in the same position sending money back home , I was also in this position when I was trying to help a single mom out . It was never enough . The relationship became about hitting me up for money for the next emergency. It was never ending . So I cut it off and cut her off . Problem solved .

Call the mother and the mother only and inform her how much money she can expect to receive going forward and that no additional money will be provided for any other relative or any other reason. Tell her it’s a short call. Tell her if anybody else calls to disagree, you won’t be discussing it with them. That’s it. It’s not a conversation. You’re informing them what the deal is. The discussion is over. Tell them the news and then end the call.

I'm of Brazilian descent and I know the culture well!!! They think all Americans are very Rich and they are very poor! He should have never allowed them to become dependent on him! Now he just has to cut them off!!!

I feel for the lady especially at the end when she mentioned she even pays for their flights and for them to stay two months. Even if they are appreciative and kind you are still renting family and friends. I'm sure those dinners and any recreational activities are paid for by this lady and her husband. You feel like what it is "You are being used because there is no reciprocating. I guarantee when thst lady visits Colombia she's paying for everything there too.

You can help the family when you have extra money but when you are struggling YOU COME FIRST, ALWAYS and then you can help with your mother in law groceries, the rest is not your business. You are the one in control of the situation. Stop helping.

One thing I've learned throughout the years is to set clear boundaries with family. My husband and I became a bank to our siblings and my mom for years and we would have to hunt people down for repayment on money they borrowed from us. It eventually became "gifts" to them because they would never payback the money or they would say I thought you gave me the money? It got so bad that my mother thought she was entitled to monthly financial help just because she was my mother. I eventually stopped sending her money and thats when I would receive a phone call from her. So now we no longer loan money to anyone and they quickly distanced themselves from us.

I have seen my dad send money, build a house, and it’s never enough. He is still sending, not taking care of himself here. I no longer say anything because he says, “it’s my money”. Okay, I will never give them any money.

I'm friends with a family from Colombia who moved to Northern California. They either didn't have money or didn't want to spend their money. They became a financial burden especially with cultural differences.

Husband is a doormat. He is being manipulated by his family. His family is lazy. Get a job!

When the family's treating you as a villain for not giving them as much money as they want, they always get better at wanting faster than you get better at making, and you'll always stay the villain.

I think a lot of people in countries like that just kind of have this idea that everybody in America is just super rich with basically an unlimited cash flow. So there's really not this perception of oh they're under financial duress and yet we keep asking them for money. But sometimes you have to make a hard thing and go against what is culturally "normal" and say no more.